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Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

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Re: Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

#221

Post by kafkaesq »

eropple wrote: post #141
kafkaesq wrote: post #79

Interview puzzles are so hit-or-miss. No matter how many of them I solve, I always stutter when I'm faced with a new one. If the problem is new, it either "clicks" right away or I bomb the interview. No middle ground. It may helpful to consider that the current interview system is, literally, designed to make you fail. That is to say: not with 100% certainty -- and on some level, they want at least some of the candid…

Ordinarily I'd just upvote this, but (because it echoes parts of what my own post higher in the thread mentions) I want to call it out. These hiring practices are part of the fuck-you,-I'm-smarter culture that makes tech gross and lame. It is so important to realize that you are not the problem, it is , unless you choose to work to perpetuate that culture. It literally is not your fault. As a reward for that realizat…

Oh, I completely agree with you. I wasn't intending to condone or promote this culture at all.

My only point is that it may be helpful to treat it as a (temporarily unavoidable) externality, and deal with as one does with other annoyances in life that one has to (temporarily) slog through from time to time.

Re: Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

#222

Post by jrnichols »

> Now I'm dumb and worthless.

My thoughts are that to even have the job that you have now, your programming/coding skills are years above mine. You may feel dumb and worthless, but someone like me would be sitting there going "Wow, I wish that i could do that."

It's all about perspective.

> Death doesn't seem so bad anymore. Then I don't have to think about all this.

I used to be a full time tech support guy, then desktop support, then sysadmin. I felt dumb and worthless at that job most of the time. I made a complete career change into healthcare and made my sysadmin stuff more of a hobby. 10 years later, i make way less but overall I'm happier. perhaps some new hobbies will help? one of them might even lead to a new career.

along those lines, i'm a paramedic, and we see death from a way different perspective. I've been there just after someone pulled the trigger and have seen just how heart wrenching it can be for the friends and family.

Please talk to someone. I'm not sure where you are, but there are resources available. :/

Re: Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

#223

Post by SeeDave »

mik3y wrote: post #54

I worked for a "big 4" (Google) for many years, and now I lead the engineering team at a startup. I've interviewed many hundreds of people. And I've "been there" in anxiety about interviewing for something new. Let me make you a deal: call me up and I'll interview you, no "puzzles". Except instead of this being about a job with me, I'll give you feedback from the interview and any advice I can. You can reach me at mi…

You're a good man. A very, very good man.

Re: Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

#224

Post by SeeDave »

ImTalking wrote: post #77
branchless wrote: post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

IBM research and pro tennis. Has to be trolling!

I was on a tennis scholarship and played a season of pro tournaments until it was apparent that tennis was not my future. Joined IBM upon graduation. Why is this not plausible?

I think the guy is hinting that you are a "Unicorn" too-good-to-be-true type of guy.

Raw intelligence at the IBM research is exceedingly rare. Raw athleticism to the point of professional tennis is exceedingly rare. The work ethic and dedication to accomplish either is exceedingly rare.

You're a genuinely accomplished person who has lived up to your potential in two disparate fields. This is so rare.

Re: Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

#225

Post by throwaway_monty »

If you're laid off, I'm pretty sure you'll have an easy time getting into a not-big-4-tech-companies. Big 4s are pretty great resume boosters.

It sounds like you lack assertiveness. Its nothing to be ashamed of. Navigating social situations is hard.

Do you like you? Do you have people around you that like you? If you have those things, having a troubled career can be okay. If you don't, you make yourself a lot more vulnerable to bumps along the way.

Re: Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

#227

Post by mariachiloco »

>> Death doesn't seem so bad anymore. Now I'm dumb and worthless.

It's not a reason. People with down syndrome can live happy lives, why not you?

>> I don't have the option to stop working for a while. I have the savings for it, but it's unacceptable to my wife. >> I don't know what to do.

Don't talk negative about yourself to your wife. That's the only relationship advice I can give you.

Re: Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

#228

Post by eropple »

kafkaesq wrote: post #221
eropple wrote: post #141

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ordinarily I'd just upvote this, but (because it echoes parts of what my own post higher in the thread mentions) I want to call it out. These hiring practices are part of the fuck-you,-I'm-smarter culture that makes tech gross and lame. It is so important to realize that you are not the problem, it is , unless you choose to work to perpetuate that culture. It literally is not your fault. As a reward for that realizat…

Oh, I completely agree with you. I wasn't intending to condone or promote this culture at all. My only point is that it may be helpful to treat it as a (temporarily unavoidable) externality, and deal with as one does with other annoyances in life that one has to (temporarily) slog through from time to time.

I get you--when I said "call it out," I meant that positively. You weren't praising it!

Re: Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

#229

Post by ImTalking »

branchless wrote: post #194
ImTalking wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was on a tennis scholarship and played a season of pro tournaments until it was apparent that tennis was not my future. Joined IBM upon graduation. Why is this not plausible?

Sorry it's just funny. 99% of people reading your post telling the other poster not to feel inadequate would feel inadequate. Reminds me of the film Meet the Parents where Owen Wilson is the ex boyfriend who trades commodities and does carpentry in his spare time! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETC82KEplac Apologies, but I did just find it funny. You can't help being good at things and nice enough to post encouragin…

Yeah, I can see your point. I am on the autism spectrum somewhere and I am very fortunate that I do not have the crippling anxiety and self-doubt that the OP and others are grappling with. I quit IBM after 6 years because I wanted to have my own business and had only a couple of business meetings lined-up (it failed), I built a software business in mortgage processing only due to some conversation I had with a mortgage broker, I built my present house while I was unemployed, I'm 56 and started my latest software project in a mature industry which I feel is ripe for a change. I just don't feel anxiety or worry and I thank my version of asperger's for this. I try and get rid of all the onion layers surrounding my 'gut' and allow it to speak to me.

My favourite saying to my kids (and one that the OP should heed) is: "It's Ok to be afraid, but you can't let being afraid stop you". And I wish that someone had told me that when I was young because it's absolutely true; you will be afraid, count on it, and that's fine but you need to plow through it. The OP seems very afraid and he is allowing this to debilitate him and his life.

Re: Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

#230

Post by facepalm »

Apart from the depression other people mention, how do you do with problems on sites like HackerRank?

Personally I can not take coding problems in interviews that seriously. Surely, it seems to me, the point is showing off your thought processes, not actually solving the problem. Solving the problem might be a matter of luck - sometimes you happen to try the right approach, sometimes the wrong one. Or even having heard about some particular algorithm is luck, nobody can know them all.

One perhaps slightly more realistic variant I have seen was when they gave me the specs for an algorithm and I had to implement it.

Probably many interviewers see it as a "solve it or bust" thing, but then it is their loss.

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