211–220 of 232 posts
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Let me flip that around on you - what do YOU think being a parent means which is mutually exclusive with being a friend?
Would you ever deny a friend something they wanted to do that you knew wasn’t good for them? You aren’t responsible for your friends.
Ahm...yes? A friend isn't characterized by how much they agree with you. It's perfectly valid to say no.
I’m going to go the other direction…it’s your responsibility to violate your childrens online privacy at least up to a certain age. Block, restrict, monitor. Say no pretty much all the time. They’ll be fine. There’s so much stuff out there where they’ll have no idea what’s going on but you’ll recognize it immediately. NextDNS is great for this stuff. Apple Family Manager too. On a phone or iPad just remove safari ent…
Acknowledging up front that I don't have kids, if I did, it would be extremely important to me to teach them that there is no such thing as privacy on the internet. If you want them to grow up to be adults who live in the world, drive that lesson home: Every single thing they ever do on the internet is being tracked and monitored and can be shared with anyone, at any time, especially the people they'd least like to s…
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> Your trust is misplaced. Could you provide some explicit examples to what you linked above? > Weird old guys contacting his son This one sounds a little weird, but the rest could just be the kid isn’t following modern western progressive values (and being obsessed with games depending on how much is just being a kid). > swearing (fine by me, but still), being drawn to the wrong kind of "friends", hate speech I’d ne…
It’s sad that being against hate speech is considered modern, western and progressive. It seemed like the norm not too long ago.
I was treated to the most disgusting explanation of why Jews deserve everything that happened to them, among other choice horrible bigotry from one of the players.
Other players, seemed irritated and muttered about him, but he kept going until I finally logged off.
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It’s sad that being against hate speech is considered modern, western and progressive. It seemed like the norm not too long ago.
The norm used to be that as bad as hate speech is, bad speech is the most important type of speech to protect because no one tries to ban speech that they like. This was recognized as important because invariably the powers that be change hands and then people with very different rules on what speech is bad get to use the same tools to suppress speech. That is why you had the ACLU defending the rights of nazis to hol…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Let me flip that around on you - what do YOU think being a parent means which is mutually exclusive with being a friend?
Would you ever deny a friend something they wanted to do that you knew wasn’t good for them? You aren’t responsible for your friends.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Let me flip that around on you - what do YOU think being a parent means which is mutually exclusive with being a friend?
Would you ever deny a friend something they wanted to do that you knew wasn’t good for them? You aren’t responsible for your friends.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Every child is different, but surely there are patterns and broad commonalities. Surely you should guard your children from heroin and meth and there are some nasty and destructive content on the internet that couldn't possibly be a good choice for any child to consume. When should your kindergartener start consuming snuff pornography? Answer: they a shouldn't, lest we wish a million serialer killers to bloom.
Every troll is different. Lest none of them starve, feed them all.
* i check her feed (together with her) on youtube/instagram once a week for toxic videos, and teach her how to manipulate her feed; either she modifies the feed or the feed modifies her
* i encourage her to pay for the apps/games, for skins, battle passes etc, and if there is 'pay to remove ads' functionality i always pay
* i have a good pi-hole setup at home blocking malware/adult sites etc
* i allow her to watch 3-4 hours of youtube per day (but long videos, longer than 10 minutes per video)
* i allow and encourage her to play video games as much as she wants, but real games, like spiderman on ps4 or fortnite, no lootbox shit
* i dont allow tiktok and youtube shorts for more than 10 minutes per day (enough so she links sent by her friends)
* apps and purchases are with approval, but for each app she has to tell me how this app is making money out of her, or for each purchase she has to explain how is the thing she is buying valuable to her
Earlier quoted context omitted.
It’s sad that being against hate speech is considered modern, western and progressive. It seemed like the norm not too long ago.
I joined tried out a new game afew months back, a Vietnam War based FPS that was free on Epic. I was treated to the most disgusting explanation of why Jews deserve everything that happened to them, among other choice horrible bigotry from one of the players. Other players, seemed irritated and muttered about him, but he kept going until I finally logged off.
It wasn't always like this (apart from the 30m limit). We "trusted" them, and have very open relationships and talk about everything. They talked about the searches they were doing (eg inspiration for things to draw) and always asked before installing anything.
But then one day I noticed the older one suddenly exiting YouTube when I enter the room. And she seemed sad. This was over a few days. Bit quieter, sadder, bit more skittish about what she does on her tablet.
One night when she was in bed, I took her tablet and loaded up my activity.google.com And oh my dog, I was dumbfounded by what I saw. Videos like "boy with terminal cancer dying in front of your eyes" and worse. Searches for mermaids (initially for art inspiration) which eventually became searches for boobs, which eventually became searches for boy+girl naughty things. (Thank Christ we at least had safe search enabled, but some pencil sketches of really dodgy stuff leaked through.) And this game where you play rock/paper/scissors and the boy/girl slowly undresses (toon, but still). She also left comments on YouTube, stuff like "I love how you draw", but luckily no-one latched onto how old she me be to start grooming her.
This happened over the space of about 8 weeks, but it's very insidious, the progressively more risque things that they get exposed to.
Fck social networks, and fck their algorithms. Their niece, now 18, suffered all manner of disorders and anorexia over the years after being given free reign, by very loving parents, with very open communication.
And here we are thinking we were being safer with our few extra policies. Not anymore. It's full lockdown from now on.
They're young enough to have taken the new rules well. They can still watch their fav Netflix shows, and still get to play their favourite games (self-hosted/private Minecraft server, thank you very much), so they're happy. But it's without all the insidious dangers that even well-intentioned parents might miss.
We spoke to her very carefully and lovingly about the dodgy stuff she saw, and she said she heard about the rock/paper/scissors game in school (private school in English countryside; this shit can crop up anywhere). The videos came via ads, and suggested content. So, luckily all is well now.
We're about to talk to the school about this whole ordeal, and really want to urge everyone to take a closer look at what the little ones get up to.