211–220 of 240 posts
When I do that, it sometimes gives me enough inertia to move on to the next step.
You don’t face it all at once. You start small, by facing something head-on where your fear is maybe a 4/10. To give a concrete example: if you’re afraid of studying for a minor test because you might fail, then spend some time acknowledging the fact that yes, you might fail. You might get a lower score than you hoped. You might have to repeat the course. Maybe. Perhaps you write it down on a piece of paper next to your study materials: “I’m going to do a reasonable job studying for this test, but I know there is a chance I could fail. If I fail, then I will have to assess my options at that time. Till then, I’m going to give it a solid effort and see what happens.”
Your fear will rise, but if you stick with it, it will eventually fall. You will know what it feels like to have conquered a fear.
In time, you will learn to have this process be your default coping strategy instead of avoidance. Then, you will not live your life dictated by fear, and in time, your overall anxiety will decrease to a healthy level.
This process works very repeatably for a very wide range of people. But it’s much easier to describe than it is to do. Your brain doesn’t want you to face your fears, because your brain thinks you are in danger. So your anxiety will not go down without a fight. But it’s a fight you can win!
I strongly recommend using a CBT therapist who specializes in anxiety disorders. I would also recommend looking for a therapist who is experienced in treating OCD. I recommend this because the treatment for OCD really works for any anxiety, but the inverse is not true. So seeing a provider with OCD expertise covers your bases.
The best solution to getting past the anxiety/fear-avoidance cycle is to take small, manageable actions while accepting the feelings that go along with those actions. Start with the smallest steps possible. Maybe that means opening the assignment and saving it to your computer. Then put it down and walk away. Come back in a little while and take another small step, such as reading over the assignment or making an out…
This is what I try and do with my kids. They're elementary school age - if you tell them "go clean your room", they will melt down because the problem is too big for them to understand how to fix it. Conceptually, they know they just need to put one thing away at a time, but often their emotions kick in first and short circuits rational thought. I help them through this by sitting in the room with them and just calli…
Good parenting in place.
The best solution to getting past the anxiety/fear-avoidance cycle is to take small, manageable actions while accepting the feelings that go along with those actions. Start with the smallest steps possible. Maybe that means opening the assignment and saving it to your computer. Then put it down and walk away. Come back in a little while and take another small step, such as reading over the assignment or making an out…
I have struggled with anxiety and fear-avoidance for a long time. Probably most of my adult life. It got to the point where I had to find external help in the form of a therapist. She specialises in cognitive behavioural therapy, which helped me take those first couple of steps. I got better after about 12 months of therapy, but felt like there was something missing in the CBT solution to the anxiety problem.
What really put things in a totally different gear was realising that the voice telling you to avoid, to put off, to cower and run from things, is just a voice. That voice feels like _you_, but it's not you. The voice is sometimes correct. Sometimes it's not. A part of CBT is questioning the unproductive thoughts and feelings, which helps, but it doesn't take this idea of "the voice being just a voice" to its conclusion. Just because you have a thought or a feeling does not mean you should take it literally, as the truth.
ACT, which I discovered by accident shortly after my epiphany, gets to the heart of it with defusion (de-fusing the internal chatter from your rational self) and five other core ideas. For me personally, the idea and practise of defusion was a core component in helping me deal with crippling anxiety. It requires work, but it's possible to feel great in the presence of _some_ anxiety and fear. It's possible to look forward to things which would normally make you anxious and avoidant.
Another book recommendation "A Liberated Mind" by Steven Hayes. I suggest reading a book or two and try to internalise these ideas through practise. No HN comment can provide the nuance and context you'll find in a book and through practise.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
To me it seems like you’re so attached to your success stories that you cannot accept that sometimes there isn’t a light at the end of the tunnel. It seems like you deal with reality by thinking that everyone can deal with their problems. Time to wake up to the truth: some people will die with their illnesses, and some illnesses are more treatment resistant than others. I’m sorry that this isn’t a flowery enough stor…
> One day your bubble will burst Now you are wishing it on others? Sorry, not going to happen.
Great book on the topic: https://www.amazon.com/Alter-Ego-Effect-Identities-Transform...
I suggest getting a therapist at the minimum. If clinical anxiety is the root cause or catalyst, then a psychiatrist could help get over that hill. I also suggest taking the Enneagram test. Understanding your personality at both its best and worst can give you insight on how you got there and how to stay or leave there, respectively. In the short term, try to understand that fear of failure is basically fearing the i…
Your comment is the only take on failure that spoke to me. For a while I try to find something about failure, but everything I've read-heard didn't spoke to me.
Your comment also made me realize that, at least for me, there are two types of failure: Life/health failure and failure of ego. I live in this state for so long that I cant differentiate the two (with the exception of imminent harm or death)
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I tried LSD and it made me severely suicidal. I had to take up a religion to not kill myself. On the dysthymia front, I’ve had it constantly since age 9 and am now 27. It’s not something I expect to change. Most people who have dysthymia learn coping mechanisms rather than trying to actually cure it. Major Depression on the other hand (which in my case would be a double depression) is more severe and more treatable D…
Ya, I would definitely have guessed LSD would be a terrible idea. Ayahuasca is an entirely different kind of thing.
Note, I have a bias as I had anxiety through ADHD. That being said both Anxiety and ADHD have the same exact dopamine problem which means that analogues of dopamine and serotonin treat anxiety if it's cause is genetic in nature. I do not know if the poster has a genetic version of anxiety, however if they do here is what I take for my ADHD that works for anxiety: L-theanine ashwagandha(its what is in Maca!) L-dopa an…