ClearCase is a terrible version control system.
You haven't met Serena yet then...
Ask HN: What has the past 12 months taught you?
211–220 of 348 posts
Re: Ask HN: What has the past 12 months taught you?
#212I need a relationship and it doesn't come easy when you are brown gay living in a white country.
Why do you "need" a relationship? Generally, I'd advice on being so comfortable with yourself that you don't ever feel like you "need" a relationship.
I have been single for about 5 years now. Earlier, I was moving around more looking for better career. Now, I am more stable with a good job. I wanted to say, I want to be in one. Obviously, I don't "need" one just for the sake of having one.
Re: Ask HN: What has the past 12 months taught you?
#213Earlier quoted context omitted.
"Don't bother disagreeing with people on social media." You should put that on a tee-shirt, or maybe a billboard.
Why not? Some of their arguments might change your view for the better, and vice versa.
You're disagreeing with their agreement that you shouldn't disagree with people on Social Media.
I'm not disagreeing here. I don't want to make this more complicated.
Re: Ask HN: What has the past 12 months taught you?
#214Turn off the TV. Turn off all social media. Turn off any negative influences. Eat as healthy as you possibly can. Exercise, yoga, tai chi, or anything that gets you moving. Enjoy the benefits of all the time you thought you didn't have while having really good mental power because of your healthy diet and exercise. Live a good life.
I am really curious how you did that. The negativity on social media and politics today is really affecting my mental health and I don't know how to switch it off
Re: Ask HN: What has the past 12 months taught you?
#215Earlier quoted context omitted.
> You don't make friends at job The more general variation on this theme is : "Most of your friends aren't". They're drinking buddies, folks to talk to at $event and $hobby_club If shit meets fan most of them will disappear. There will be a few who turn out to be real friends. A few in each group will surprise you greatly.
It's easy to be cynical, but it's important to avoid throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Of course you can make friends at work, but no, they're not going to be the kind of friends whose shoulders you can cry on when a relationship goes south, but if you can have a discussion about non-work matters, if you could imagine having them over for a backyard barbecue, "friend" still seems like a reasonable term. Even…
I think you;re missing the point. Not being cynical or semantically pure. Least ways I don't think so.
Nothing wrong with drinking buddies or casual friends at the local cycling club or wherever your hobby interests lie.
But they won't be true friends in the sense of people you could call on for advice or assistance if life has just presented you with "a challenge".
What has surprised me over the years is how poorly I can predict closeness - both with myself and others. People you'd think were your closest friends can, and do, disappear when you have sudden need. Fairweather friend probably is derogatory but I guess they only get called that after some shitty event? Here, we probably are into semantics. :)
Conversely I've been just as surprised by people who didn't seem that close but went above and beyond to help some situation.
> seems like a great way to convince yourself that you're an unlikeable person with no friends
I have no idea at all how you arrive here. :)
Re: Ask HN: What has the past 12 months taught you?
#216For me I have learned that there comes a point when you need to work differently in order to protect your health and family well being. Big salaries are great, but when the price for that is massive amounts of overtime that takes you away from your family it just isn't worth it. Now I work for myself and I love it. Hobbies are vitally important to keeping you happy and healthy, don't neglect them. When you get a spee…
Thanks for writing that. Why does distance from car to camera van matter though? I'm very curious!
If the van was in Hereville when concluding that that OP, being in Theretown, was speeding -- how reliable are their reports?
Re: Ask HN: What has the past 12 months taught you?
#217Quit earlier. I stuck around in a screwed up project until I couldn't stand talking to anyone else involved, I would have been way better off if I'd committed to leaving about four months earlier than I did - when I could see that the fundamental requirements and plans were being faked for management, and everyone else was OK with that. By the time I did leave I was having actual nightmares about work.
Re: Ask HN: What has the past 12 months taught you?
#218Turn off the TV. Turn off all social media. Turn off any negative influences. Eat as healthy as you possibly can. Exercise, yoga, tai chi, or anything that gets you moving. Enjoy the benefits of all the time you thought you didn't have while having really good mental power because of your healthy diet and exercise. Live a good life.
Side note related to negativity: stay at least a little engaged with developments in areas you care about, so if things happen against your values, you can give your resources to help groups that share your vision and values.
Re: Ask HN: What has the past 12 months taught you?
#219Luck plays such a major role in life that: 1) You're better off looking at things probabilistically. 2) You should seek ways to put the odds in your favor whenever you go up to bat and forget about the outcome. 3) When things are going your way, don't get arrogant. And when things aren't, don't get despondent. 4) You should keep going up to bat and let the law of averages work things out in your favor.
I strongly agree with the stray luck / good fortune factor. I'll add that I think there is the considerable potential to enhance the access to lucky outcomes and or the rate at which you can run into good luck events.
Simple, rather obvious things like doing (do a thing, take action) and asking (if you never ask...), dramatically improve your odds of causing and or colliding with good luck outcomes. They often take very little time as well. The biggest cost in asking, is typically being shot down; if you can handle that, then the sky opens up.
I used to be really mediocre at the asking aspect. I remember my mother telling me, when I was a teenager, that I was just like her, I never asked for what I wanted, and she lamented that the squeaky wheel always get the grease. That pissed me off, the projection of her flaw/weakness/non-action choice onto me. I've tried to remind myself since then, to routinely stab at the universe for stray opportunities by inquiring, asking, etc.
The first time I raised venture capital, it was because I sent a cold email to a billionaire. I didn't think they'd reply, and the email only took ten minutes to craft late one night. They replied and were interested in what I was building, and I raised capital from that person shortly thereafter. All I had to do, is do something (build), and ask (network the action I took out into the wider world), and I made a good luck outcome possible. Absolutely nothing would have happened without the ask; such a simple thing.