Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#201

Post by sowbug » Sat, Dec 17, 2022, 4:38 AM UTC

bamboozled wrote: post #197

ly3xqhl8g9 wrote: post #190

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Given the extreme mimetic learning in children, it is probably important if the child sees you stopping a process they guess/know you are enjoying. The confusion which leads from questioning the reinforcement can be a source of wisdom. If the child sees you, the parent, put down the device after a few minutes, not gorging on food, sleep, and so on, having self moderation, they are more probably to also develop it. Th…

Wouldn't it be better to help a child learn self moderation without giving them such a strong addictive substance? Like for some kids, having to leave a fun play date at their friends house because they have school the next day is crushing enough but probably a good lesson in self moderation and preparedness. That's probably a simpler way to teach self-moderation rather than, here is a bag of cocaine, try not to eat…

Every kid is different. I've heard of families who put locks on the refrigerator at night because their kids won't stop eating.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#202

Post by justsomehnguy » Sat, Dec 17, 2022, 4:38 AM UTC

bamboozled wrote: post #197

ly3xqhl8g9 wrote: post #190

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Given the extreme mimetic learning in children, it is probably important if the child sees you stopping a process they guess/know you are enjoying. The confusion which leads from questioning the reinforcement can be a source of wisdom. If the child sees you, the parent, put down the device after a few minutes, not gorging on food, sleep, and so on, having self moderation, they are more probably to also develop it. Th…

Wouldn't it be better to help a child learn self moderation without giving them such a strong addictive substance? Like for some kids, having to leave a fun play date at their friends house because they have school the next day is crushing enough but probably a good lesson in self moderation and preparedness. That's probably a simpler way to teach self-moderation rather than, here is a bag of cocaine, try not to eat…

> For some kids not having you tube in their face is probably similar to not having chocolate in the house?

If parents solved all their problems with the kid by shoving the phone in their hands ["so that brat would finally shut the fuck up"] then of course.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#203

Post by WalterBright » Sat, Dec 17, 2022, 4:38 AM UTC

> How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

Forget to pay the ISP bill.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#204

Post by matthewaveryusa » Sat, Dec 17, 2022, 4:48 AM UTC

mylasttour wrote: post #198

sowbug wrote: post #98

Parent of three ranging from tween to college age. We have never had limits on anything. Screen time/content unrestricted. Probably dozens of times, maybe hundreds, we have had "the talk" about how there's a lot of weird shit in the world, internet included, and it's better to know about that stuff and how to deal with it than to create a temporary secure enclave at home where it doesn't exist. We especially didn't w…

Quite sad to see this hands-off approach being praised. I was raised in this kind of environment, along with most others I know, and that's how we all got to see our first beheading, suicide, or some grotesque sexual content before we even hit 12. It's not something you seek as a kid, but you get presented with it. Sure, this would be considered the "excess", but I'm not sure if it's the kind that children should be…

The lack of public beheadings is more of an exception of the last century than the norm. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but I don't think it really affects children all that much. rotten/liveleak certainly didn't make me any different -- if anything it was beneficial to understand that there's a violent world out there.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#205

Post by Fire-Dragon-DoL » Sat, Dec 17, 2022, 4:49 AM UTC

We don't have an actual limit on gaming (my daughter is 4,my son 2). The daughter however is able to recognize when she is bored of the videogame and drops it when that happens.

I acquired that skill at the end of my teenage years, so she's already ahead!

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#206

Post by theonething » Sat, Dec 17, 2022, 4:55 AM UTC

theonething wrote: post #163

aerovistae wrote: post #147

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What do you make of this one's approach? Just wondering since you're on opposite ends of the spectrum. https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=34022113

If they are saying never pose limits at any age, I vehemently disagree. 0 - 3 are formative years of child development. In that time, the brain grows to 8% of its adult mass and 90% by 5. What happens during this time has outsized effects on a child for the rest of their lives. By letting a baby/toddler have unrestricted access to screens, you are helping to wire neuronic paths in their brain to need that dopamine hi…

edit:

> brain grows to 8% of its adult mass

should be 80%

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#207

Post by theonething » Sat, Dec 17, 2022, 5:02 AM UTC

Aeolun wrote: post #146

theonething wrote: post #87

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Believe or not, especially if we order something she really likes, she'll sit there eating her food and talk to us, making comments about things she notices in her environment. Before the food comes, she'll just look around and make conversation about what she sees. Could this be just her personality and we got lucky? Possibly. But I'm willing to bet it also has to do with her not being used to screens and instead be…

I think the symptoms/behavior comes first, and the screens come after. My son cannot sit still. He’ll wiggle, jump, run and try to touch/lick everything in existence if he’s not entertained, and what he finds entertaining is exactly the things I mentioned before. And youtube. It’s literally the only way to get him to sit still for any amount of time (that I’ve found anyway), so that’s what restaurant time has become.…

I have nothing negative to say about your comment. The reality is your son cannot sit still at a restaurant and youtube works to have a decent dining experience.

Now if outside the restaurant context, you were constantly giving him Youtube time in lieu of real world activity, I would encourage different behavior.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#208

Post by anon291 » Sat, Dec 17, 2022, 5:23 AM UTC

yawboakye wrote: post #155

kapildev wrote: post #127

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am an adult and while I was a child, our father turned off TV and cable access. He connected internet for a while but later disconnected that down as well. Needless to say, now I am older, it's very hard for me to moderate my film-viewing and internet-using habits. And I have always been wondering, was it because I wasnt allowed to moderate myself when I was little that I cant rid myself addiction? Nowadays, the on…

Grew up without TV at home. In fact, no electricity at home until mid-teens. Still can’t watch TV to this day. My kind of fun was always out there with kids from the neighborhood running around, kicking a ball, getting tired and getting dirty in the process. As an adult it has been replaced with team sports and physical activities. I want the same experience for my kids. Essentially have fun programs that require the…

Yeah... I haven't watched TV for years. I've tried, because we used to do it a lot as kids. But after a while of not having it... nothing is that interesting. The few times I go to a hotel and have live TV, I genuinely try to find something interesting, but it's just not.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#209

Post by anon291 » Sat, Dec 17, 2022, 5:26 AM UTC

factsarelolz wrote: post #34

mixmastamyk wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sit quietly, talk, color, maybe read. Is this hard to believe? We did that.

A 2-3 year old sitting there quietly talking, coloring or reading? Yeah it's very very very hard to believe. Even if the child is an absolute saint there's such things as sensory overload.

My daughter is verifiably not a saint, and she sits and eats dinner and chats with adults. This should be the base expectation of any child, within reason. Yes, she can color; yes, sometimes the adults have to entertain children's stories; yes, we pay attention to her. But otherwise, she's incredibly enjoyable to bring out to restaurants and such with the right environment.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#210

Post by anon291 » Sat, Dec 17, 2022, 5:30 AM UTC

theGnuMe wrote: post #181

mercacona wrote: post #52

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You can’t compare writing blogs or early YouTube to current trends: short videos, addictive productions, irrelevant contents, etc. My son has a friend who can watch YouTube and Tiktok for hours without supervision. When he comes home I freak out: he gets bored watching a movie, music videoclips are too long, and if you try to read a short story at bedtime he doesn’t even listen to you. It’s not about using computers…

How is your own attention span? I've watched old cartoon movies from the 80s and find them dull and boring but I remember them being my favorite at the time. I also have this other observation. If you really get into classical music, jazz and to some extent blues/bluegrass... modern pop songs just sound like crap and boring.

> If you really get into classical music, jazz and to some extent blues/bluegrass... modern pop songs just sound like crap and boring.

I feel this might be a 'look at me I'm so smart thing'. I've enjoyed classical music and jazz and blues/bluegrass, and partake in playing all of those. I also enjoy pop music. There's nothing inherently bad about pop music. Like jazz and classical, it's based on a simple circle of fifths progression. In fact, most modern pop is more harmonically and rhythmically complex than classical music.