Ask HN: How do “introverted” entrepreneurs build a network?

Looks interesting. Thanks!

This is an interesting conversation. As an introvert myself I sometimes get really uncomfortable in social gatherings with lots of unfamiliar faces. But to your point about introversion having nothing to do with being social, I could not disagree more. It is very stressful for some introverts to conjure up a conversation with total strangers, event with people they know. Unlike extraverts, introverts are not often good starting simple conversation, and even when they do, they sometimes struggle internally thinking about what to say. Moreover, while an extravert will talk right of the top their mind, the introvert tend to think about what to say,and a host of other things depending on their assessment of the conversation. With that said, that sense of anxiety introvert feels in social settings often come with a great deal of analysis paralysis.

I think the trick for introverts going to networking events is to have a game plan about what they hope to accomplish from the event. The goal should be to try an make a least 2-3 meaningful connections. They should not feel burden with the need to be extroverted, or be something other than oneself.

This mentality, which personifies American corporate culture, about extroversion being good and introversion being bad, started with Cale Carnegie in the early part of the nineteenth century.

I think what every introvert and business should understand is that introverts bring some of the best ideas to table. However, most often employers want that extroverted employee, who always seems happy and smiling and talks a lot. That might might be good for corporate image, but not always the bottom line.

Oh, I was so shy when I was younger. Socially awkward (and I was just smart enough to know it), nervous, didn't want to talk with others at all, really. Now, I love it.

I started very small and very simply: I started reading etiquette books (this was as a teenager). No joke. If you think about it, they're just really 'how to' books that cover a lot of social situations (I still have a copy of Debrett's). Anyway, so I started there and began to add what I read into my everyday social interactions. Things got a bit easier. From there, I actually joined greek life in college. Sure, it gets a bad rap, but I very quickly learned how to become very comfortable in social situations because I FORCED myself into a setting that was, by nature, incredibly social. As an adult, I'd suggest getting involved in some activity that you enjoy that has a heavy social aspect...and also NOT with people who are JUST LIKE YOU (i.e. don't go to meetups for just coders or engineers). I also held two sales jobs and volunteered at a phone bank to call people and ask for donations for a good cause. Cold-calling people and sales were really helpful because it gets you incredibly comfortable with rejection--which, if you really think about it, is, IMO, the reason those of us who are naturally shy are shy--there's a small worry about rejection, or at least nervousness around 'maybe this person won't like me'. If you get rejected enough, you literally don't even notice anymore.

Those were the things that I did that I believe had the biggest impact. Hopefully you can take some of my experiences and make them work for you. Have fun.