Ask HN: How life changes after being a dad? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: How life changes after being a dad?

#21

Post by devillius » Mon, Jul 27, 2015, 2:51 PM UTC

We got married a little over a year ago and had a little girl about 3 months ago. I used to love working on random projects till late at night. Now, I'm up with the baby just playing with her / soothing her when she's up and getting some programming in when she's sleeping.

The first few weeks were rough, with her not sleeping at all and having to constantly be with her. It gets better. Enjoy your time with her.

Netflix and podcasts kept me sane during those long nights where I was up with her.

Re: Ask HN: How life changes after being a dad?

#22

Post by DanBC » Mon, Jul 27, 2015, 2:57 PM UTC

1) sleep is important. Learn to sleep; learn to cooperate with your partner on sleep.

2) you are going to want to buy toys like this: http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B00009XNRU/

But the kid will be just as happy with this: http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B009ZWSX9E/

Especially if you are spending time with the child.

Re: Ask HN: How life changes after being a dad?

#23

Post by AnimalMuppet » Mon, Jul 27, 2015, 4:11 PM UTC

This kid is going to cost you sleep. In fact, it's going to start three months before it's born. Your wife is going to find it much more awkward to roll over in the night. It's going to become a procedure, one you won't be able to sleep through.

This kid is going to cost you most (not all, but more than half) of your leisure time.

This kid is going to be worth all of that. Don't focus on how much leisure time you're losing (though you will, and it will be painful). I regret being so tied up in things I wanted to do, and not giving as much time and attention to my children as I should have. Don't do that.

I gained a shirt size, just from picking my daughter up over and over. My wife thought that suddenly the way she did the laundry was shrinking my shirts.

If you can, one of the most loving things you can do for your wife is hire someone to clean your house. She's got a lot more that she has to handle now; taking that load off of her can be a great help.

Re: Ask HN: How life changes after being a dad?

#24

Post by JSeymourATL » Mon, Jul 27, 2015, 7:17 PM UTC

Do yourself a favor-- read up on Polyphasic Sleep, the power naps as a new dad will save your life> http://www.4hourlife.com/2012/04/29/become-uberman-sleep-lik...

A hugely positive change; expect a new social world of other young parents will soon open-up to you. These new friends will have all the latest neighborhood news on best baby sitters, play dates, and pre-schools. They'll even be happy to pass along gently used clothes and outgrown toys. And you may find your yourself gladly going to bed earlier than an Amish Farmer.

As for your old leisure activities, a lot of those things get necessarily shelved. And you'll find you're completely OK with that. Instead of hanging out with friends, watching TV, gaming, reading-- you'll spend hours joyfully with your kid eating/sleeping/crawling/bathing/learning their way around.

Understand the girl you married is also going through a tremendously difficult period physically & mentally. (Duh!) But this requires you to be extra mindful of her state-- 10X more helpful and attentive. Her transformation into a Mom will blow you away.

All the best; Godspeed!