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Ask HN: I underestimated how lonely building solo can be

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Re: Ask HN: I underestimated how lonely building solo can be

#21

Post by santah »

I can totally relate.

In addition to "no one to bounce ideas off" - no one to really share the pain and responsibility with when there are problems. It's all on you.

Thankfully, my users are very generous with their feedback, so when I do in fact do a "nice job" - I'm told so :)

For how long have you been building solo?

After 20 years, for me, I can tell you this - what helps me the most is exercising regularly (ideally on all weekdays) AND having kids.

Because of the kids, I rarely have the time to feel lonely and the regular physical exercises keep me in a (fairly) good mental state.

It felt the worst in my first years of solo dev, when all I did was work and hardly spent any time to socialize and take care of myself.

I'm sure it'll get better for you too as your project evolves and your life along with it.

Re: Ask HN: I underestimated how lonely building solo can be

#22

Post by chamomeal »

paulwilsonn wrote: post #6
flarion wrote: post #3

don't work (too much) from home. find your crowd at a coworking space imho.

Coworking spaces can be great if you find the right vibe. The energy of being around other builders or creatives really helps with momentum - though it’s easy to end up socializing more than working if you’re not careful. Balance is key.

It is definitely not easy for me to accidentally socialize instead of work lol. Sounds like a great coworking space if that’s an issue!

Re: Ask HN: I underestimated how lonely building solo can be

#23

Post by allenu »

Yes, definitely. It's something you do just have to get used to, though, if you want to work on something solo for a long period of time.

Bouncing ideas off others and getting excited by someone seeing my work and seeing someone else create something is something I miss a lot. Being in meetings and having to deal with policy and bureaucracy I don't miss at all. You kind of have to lean into the pros of working alone (having agency, being able to pivot and move quickly) and remember what you're avoiding (bureaucracy, corporate culture) to fuel yourself beyond the product itself.

Be sure to get out of the house regularly during the work week. Being inside all day and not interacting with others can make you a little nuts even if you don't notice it. I know that there are days I'm not productive and it's usually because all I've been doing is working alone and I'm hitting my mental limits. Even going for a walk makes a difference to wake me up a bit.

Re: Ask HN: I underestimated how lonely building solo can be

#24

Post by senordevnyc »

100%. I got laid off from my big tech job earlier this year and decided to use the opportunity to go full-time on my side project. After six months or so, it’s going amazingly well in terms of revenue growth, and I’m on track to support my family in NYC within the next six months. I really couldn’t be happier about how it’s going.

However, it’s also been much harder emotionally than I thought. Part of it is the pressure (I also have another kid on the way!), but it’s also just the loneliness. No one to really collaborate with, share wins and losses with, talk me down when things aren’t going well, etc. I applied to an incubator more for the social / cohort aspects than the funding, but I ultimately turned it down because some of the terms just felt too expensive.

I ended up starting a mastermind with some friends, AND joining a paid community for B2B saas founders. It’s OK so far, only been a couple weeks, but I’ve got to do something. I didn’t realize how hard this part would be!

Re: Ask HN: I underestimated how lonely building solo can be

#25

Post by allenu »

pegasus wrote: post #16
paulwilsonn wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That’s a great reflection. Celebrating milestones solo can feel hollow, but it’s part of the craftsperson’s journey. The watchmaker analogy fits perfectly - building intricate, meaningful things that most people never fully see or understand.

Whereas yours is a redundant reflection of a reflection. As LLM-composed text often tends to be. Is there even a human behind this post or is it all autonomous already?

It's disappointing to see their responses. All obviously LLM. I'm assuming there's a real person behind the original post as that doesn't feel like LLM and maybe they're just not sure how to respond.

For the OP, if you're truly asking the question, respond using your own words. The LLM responses are devoid of any value.

Re: Ask HN: I underestimated how lonely building solo can be

#27

Post by vunderba »

pegasus wrote: post #16
paulwilsonn wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That’s a great reflection. Celebrating milestones solo can feel hollow, but it’s part of the craftsperson’s journey. The watchmaker analogy fits perfectly - building intricate, meaningful things that most people never fully see or understand.

Whereas yours is a redundant reflection of a reflection. As LLM-composed text often tends to be. Is there even a human behind this post or is it all autonomous already?

It's pretty damn absurd for a person to reach out for real human-to-human communication on HN only to set up a Rogerian-level bot for autoresponses.

Re: Ask HN: I underestimated how lonely building solo can be

#28

Post by stillworks »

Honest question... would you rather not have the "peace and quiet" and go at it all on your own not having to go through the motions of a "real job" ?

You bounce your ideas off someone clever enough only to see that idea being implemented before you had the chance to do it only after hearing that the idea was not good enough.

Your ideas, your solutions, your mistakes, your challenges, your problems, your ideas...

No manager one-on-ones, no a$$h0l3 back-biting coworkers, no one-pagers before meetings, no competing down-levels trying to find mistakes in your ideas, no lofty mentors making recommendations on how to improve your visibility.

If you have paying customers and are financially independent, just enjoy it.

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