How much job experience do you have? To me, this sounds very idealistic, but unrealistic. It sounds like a new employee aspiring to be a manager. Everywhere has a team or dept like this
Ask HN: My manager is bad. Should I care?
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Re: Ask HN: My manager is bad. Should I care?
#22Org charts are annoyingly real. And the actions at the top fully dictate the potential for the bottom. I'm comfortably in the middle with no real power, but I have an excellent relationship with my boss who triages between my team and the powers at be. We still perform tasks that I feel are flat out bad decisions that will come back to haunt us — ask me how having a lone devops resource deploy OpenStack instead of doing AWS went.
Going with the flow has its advantages if you feel your position is relatively stable, as I do. Make sure you find purpose outside of your job to help with your mental health
Re: Ask HN: My manager is bad. Should I care?
#23> The manager [...] fails to include me or the team
> The director [...] communicates only through [the manager]
It sounds like this is the intended culture of your management structure, or at least in this local hierarchy you exist within. Only you can really tell how negatively this impacts your happiness this is but fwiw, this isn't generally that uncommon of a setup.
Re: Ask HN: My manager is bad. Should I care?
#24> nice I'm reminded of a book I read once called "No More Mr Nice Guy" where it explains that "nice guys" are actually kind of jerks because they behave certain ways to try to manipulate people and they expect reciprocation. They live by a sort of unspoken code that they believe exists but which other people may or may not be aware of. When a "nice guy" doesn't get his way, he can become bitter and resentful. (I am u…
First time I hear about that book. Interesting. I've reflected already about such "Mr Nice guys". This guy in particular, who I have in mind now, I could never determine whether he was being manipulative or was simply extremely incompetent. Either way, I regarded him as very dangerous: his actions (or lack thereof) constantly disrupted something and the slightest attempt to call him out resulted in multiple people jumping to his defense.
Re: Ask HN: My manager is bad. Should I care?
#25> nice I'm reminded of a book I read once called "No More Mr Nice Guy" where it explains that "nice guys" are actually kind of jerks because they behave certain ways to try to manipulate people and they expect reciprocation. They live by a sort of unspoken code that they believe exists but which other people may or may not be aware of. When a "nice guy" doesn't get his way, he can become bitter and resentful. (I am u…
> They live by a sort of unspoken code that they believe exists but which other people may or may not be aware of.
I try to be a nice guy but also believe (hope) I'm competent!
On the above that's something I've recognized though, I do feel like I bring some sort of unwritten moral code to my work (as do we all I'm sure) but realizing that nobody else is actually aware of it or follows it is quite important.
I think this goes some way to being able to be "nice" without getting resentful or bitter when things don't go your way.
From the kind-hearted colleague who's freindly at the water cooler but actually very difficult to work with - through to the people who are just rude, dismissive or belligerent - acknowledging that they operate by a different set of principals to you and accepting that somewhat release's you from their effects.
Re: Ask HN: My manager is bad. Should I care?
#26> nice I'm reminded of a book I read once called "No More Mr Nice Guy" where it explains that "nice guys" are actually kind of jerks because they behave certain ways to try to manipulate people and they expect reciprocation. They live by a sort of unspoken code that they believe exists but which other people may or may not be aware of. When a "nice guy" doesn't get his way, he can become bitter and resentful. (I am u…
How does that make sense? Should the incompetent boss rather be 'neutral' (DnD sense) or even mean?
Anyhow. OP, it is not your firm and not your problem. Try to run a community playground or something instead of wasting energy on some random company you should not care about.
Re: Ask HN: My manager is bad. Should I care?
#27> nice I'm reminded of a book I read once called "No More Mr Nice Guy" where it explains that "nice guys" are actually kind of jerks because they behave certain ways to try to manipulate people and they expect reciprocation. They live by a sort of unspoken code that they believe exists but which other people may or may not be aware of. When a "nice guy" doesn't get his way, he can become bitter and resentful. (I am u…
While the book is more about relationships, it does make applicable points. A "nice" manager that refuses to get down to brass tacks is eventually going to be a problem for everyone when the schedule slips: your complaining about what the actual problem is will be viewed as disloyalty and you'll be the one thrown under the bus.
The opposite view can be taken here though, also discussed in the book. If you are not the manager, you should avoid trying to fill that role. The manager and director certainly don't want you to "help fix their problems".
Re: Ask HN: My manager is bad. Should I care?
#28> nice I'm reminded of a book I read once called "No More Mr Nice Guy" where it explains that "nice guys" are actually kind of jerks because they behave certain ways to try to manipulate people and they expect reciprocation. They live by a sort of unspoken code that they believe exists but which other people may or may not be aware of. When a "nice guy" doesn't get his way, he can become bitter and resentful. (I am u…
How do you know whether someone is just genuinely nice, or nice-but-jerk as you explained it?
Re: Ask HN: My manager is bad. Should I care?
#29I think the broader problem is a lack of societal realization that the purpose of jobs should ideally be to gain training to ultimately become an entrepreneur rather than to stay just a worker. It may help to look at things from this pov. It's okay if you still remain only a worker as long as you keep this in mind. It may nevertheless help you reframe your situation to gain clarity.
Re: Ask HN: My manager is bad. Should I care?
#30Something isn't adding up. You claim to be a team lead and yet have not seem managers come and go constantly? You have a personality conflict with the manager, but it will only be a couple years. Just live with it.