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Ask HN: Those who've joined a friend's startup as an employee, how did that go?

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Re: Ask HN: Those who've joined a friend's startup as an employee, how did that go?

#21

Post by Aeolun »

lmm wrote: post #14
highwaylights wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It probably did, you know your friends and I don’t, but you don’t know that it worked out. You really have no way of knowing if your friends still think of you the same post-employment even if you’re still acquainted.

A friendship isn't and shouldn't be a pickled-in-amber thing. If the friendship you have now is one you're happy with, that's a success, whether it's the same as the one you had before or not.

That’s true to some extend. If you are still happy with it, but your friends are not, is it still a success?

Not that you’d ever know of course.

Re: Ask HN: Those who've joined a friend's startup as an employee, how did that go?

#22

Post by wahnfrieden »

YZF wrote: post #12

I joined a friend's business as an employee and worked for him for years. I think for the most part that went ok but the fact that we're not friends any more probably tells you something. At some point I felt like I was being taken advantage of, left, and that sort of ruined the friendship. We weren't particularly close friends to start with and we were still on talking terms when our work relationship ended. I also…

Anyone giving you a wage while seeking a profit instead of partner equity is taking advantage of you tautologically

Re: Ask HN: Those who've joined a friend's startup as an employee, how did that go?

#23

Post by Aeolun »

kcplate wrote: post #11
gamertime wrote: post #2

Hello, this does not apply to me but I'd like to say my 2 cent regardless: Your boss cannot be your friend (or vice versa). It simply does not work out well, you can't be a leader while being friends with your followers, so I expect everyone who worked for their friends will most likely describe it as a miserable experience.

It’s the chicken or the egg kind of problem. I think it’s easier to become friends with a boss. Less easy for a friend to become your boss.

I think it’s perfectly possible to be friends with someone I do not respect professionally. But it would be impossible to have such a person be my boss.

Re: Ask HN: Those who've joined a friend's startup as an employee, how did that go?

#24

Post by s1artibartfast »

highwaylights wrote: post #8
hellcow wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’ve hired several friends as employees. It works fine if both of you are able to separate work from friendship. Admittedly not everyone can do this, but it worked out in my situation.

It probably did, you know your friends and I don’t, but you don’t know that it worked out. You really have no way of knowing if your friends still think of you the same post-employment even if you’re still acquainted.

I dont think same-ness is the metric of success.

Similarly, individuals can judge success by their one sided satisfaction with the result. e.g. "I am still very happy with the relationship" = success.

Re: Ask HN: Those who've joined a friend's startup as an employee, how did that go?

#25

Post by strontian »

I'm curious whether anyone has written much about this subject as it's very interesting and rarely discussed.

I've done this a few times and overall it went better than working with a stranger-founder.

ALTHOUGH - You should understand that, independent from the various forms of risk the business faces, and also independent from the financial risk and uncertainty you face through your agreements with the startup:

1. The social fabric of startups are highly unstable for the first few years.

2. The beliefs the participants have about the world, the other people in the organization, what to do, and so on is also highly unstable.

Your relationship is a minor player relative to the other(sometimes chaotic) forces affecting the organization, however generally it works in your favor.

Also, the normal rules for navigating a startup are still apply. Of those, the most important is selecting the right startup to join.

Re: Ask HN: Those who've joined a friend's startup as an employee, how did that go?

#26

Post by brianwawok »

wahnfrieden wrote: post #22
YZF wrote: post #12

I joined a friend's business as an employee and worked for him for years. I think for the most part that went ok but the fact that we're not friends any more probably tells you something. At some point I felt like I was being taken advantage of, left, and that sort of ruined the friendship. We weren't particularly close friends to start with and we were still on talking terms when our work relationship ended. I also…

Anyone giving you a wage while seeking a profit instead of partner equity is taking advantage of you tautologically

[flagged]

Re: Ask HN: Those who've joined a friend's startup as an employee, how did that go?

#27

Post by s1artibartfast »

gamertime wrote: post #2

Hello, this does not apply to me but I'd like to say my 2 cent regardless: Your boss cannot be your friend (or vice versa). It simply does not work out well, you can't be a leader while being friends with your followers, so I expect everyone who worked for their friends will most likely describe it as a miserable experience.

I would say that the best bosses I have ever had were also close friends.

This ultimately comes down to the characteristics you seek in friends, friendships, and work.

Re: Ask HN: Those who've joined a friend's startup as an employee, how did that go?

#29

Post by s1artibartfast »

wahnfrieden wrote: post #22
YZF wrote: post #12

I joined a friend's business as an employee and worked for him for years. I think for the most part that went ok but the fact that we're not friends any more probably tells you something. At some point I felt like I was being taken advantage of, left, and that sort of ruined the friendship. We weren't particularly close friends to start with and we were still on talking terms when our work relationship ended. I also…

Anyone giving you a wage while seeking a profit instead of partner equity is taking advantage of you tautologically

If anyone has this mentality, I suggest they dont work for friends.

Re: Ask HN: Those who've joined a friend's startup as an employee, how did that go?

#30

Post by sfx2000 »

It was interesting - I was pulled into a startup by a friend, and I was the first full-time employee - he joined later, and we were peers - he headed up HW and I led the SW and architecture side - one of the execs was also known, as we worked years back at the same company.

It comes down to the dynamics - if one is asked to join in, it's because one has demonstrated capabilities and the ability to execute in a team environment.

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