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Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?
21–30 of 82 posts
Re: Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?
#22Anxiety is normal. Any animal on this planet has it. Get yourself in "percieved" danger (climbing) and survive, to recalibrate that sense of anxiety, which is constant firing due to the society surrounding us being actively hostile to its inhabitants.
For medication resistant depression may i suggest: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electroconvulsive_therapy
Notice also, that just because you are out of ideas and the situation is theraphy resistant, you do not have to end it "traditionally" and may instead try to go for "statistical" suicide by turning your life into a dangerous endavour.
Travel to dangerous places, jump out of working airplanes with parachutes, try to percieve the fact that you are as free as a creature under the sun can be.
Also the obligatory legally demanded worthless advice of thoughts, prayers and theraphy, ritually mumbled usually by those who actively participated in creating todays society.
Re: Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?
#23> managing a marriage within the context of my emotional instability
Is it possible your marriage is contributing to your emotional instability? It may not be. Maybe they help you and are grounding you and improving your life. But maybe you are in a bad place partially because of them. Separating yourself from someone you love can be a bad idea if you are emotionally unstable but if you aren't getting the love you need from them, it could be exacerbating your condition.
Re: Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?
#24I don't really know the origin of your trauma, but I was the victim of domestic violence. It caused a lot of anger in me, and that anger would just swell at essentially random moments if my mind drifted. When I'd get angry, I'd dwell on it and that would make me even more angry. this became a horrible positive feedback loop. I then started to try and consciously break that loop by preforming a ritual if I noticed my anger. I would rubbing my thumb and index finger together and pray the Hail Mary ten times. If I was still angry, I'd continue. Rubbing my fingers together gave me a sense of tactical focus where I'd feel the ridges of my fingerprint, praying the Hail Mary gave my mind focus, and through that I would let the anger fall away. I understand not everyone is religious, but the act of praying the Hail Mary is one that requires a small amount of focus, but not overly burdensome in the moment (think a small poem). I found this technique to be instrumental in breaking those mental loops of anger by allowing my mind to calm and re-adjust. By breaking those mental loops, I was able to let go of my anger episodes within 6-9 months. I'm still upset by what happened, but I don't let my anger and emotions rule me. I think you could try this if you feel yourself being overrun by these negative emotions.
Re: Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?
#25Hey,
I'm sorry, this sounds really tough and those words probably don't do it justice.
Prayer, which is distinctly different from meditation has been helpful to me. I'm not an expert on any matters pertinent to mental health or spirituality for that matter--but if you just want to talk, DM me here: @awicz
Re: Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?
#26Consider this: what guarantee do you have that it does get better after death?
Correct me if I’m wrong, but you don’t want to die per se, you just want for the pain to go away. But we know nothing about what happens after death. It’s a risky move.
Lots of other great advice in here, but this thought hopefully makes you reconsider doing something irreversible that may actually turn out not to help you at all.
Re: Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?
#27Tell us more.
What hurts the most?
From your post, I'm hearing that you have a lot on your plate -- I'm seeing some disgust with your body, some frustration with your creativity and mental abilities, some fear about making a relationship work. That's a lot for anybody, and I'm sorry you're having to go through all that.
Where in your body does it hurt? Is there a specific feeling associated with some of this pain behind the numbness? A soreness in the eyes, a drop in the stomach, an ache in the foot...?
Re: Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?
#28Since it's not in your post, can I ask what you think is causing your fear and anxiety, and what it feels like?
Re: Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?
#29Make a list of everything you want to improve in life and decompose it into atomic facts. Order them by easiest to fix to hardest, then plan and execute actionable steps to rectify one thing at a time. Put everything else on hold and accept that the other things might stay bad or even get worse in the meantime. If one of those things isn't working out after a couple weeks, put it at the end of the queue and keep going. Start racking up a few wins, and before you know it life will look different and your problems will seem less intractable.
For example: Instead of "losing weight", add items to your to-do list like "quit snacking", "stop drinking soda", and "eat one fruit/veggie with every meal". The point is to reduce those big problems into small ones that anyone can fix then start churning through them.
Re: Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?
#30It sounds like you have PTSD. 20+ years ptsd sufferer here and none of the traditional medications made a dent. But psychedelic therapy did and it worked like a charm for me.
Psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy has shown great promise, give it a shot.
- Look into Ketamine which is already FDA approved.
- Psilocybin, MDMA are all due for FDA approval. The clinical trials have shown high efficacy
and they are the best thing to happen for a very long time. Trust me, I have never felt better and it can get better.
dm me if you want to talk.