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Ask HN: Parents: Best screen-time limiting software?

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Re: Ask HN: Parents: Best screen-time limiting software?

#22
post #20

Suggestion based on our parenting results, YMMV: 1. Enforced limits are adversarial. 2. Conversations around how the internet/devices etc are fantastic while fraught with a million pitfalls may seem too much for a 9yo to handle, but you might be surprised if you try. 3. In general, having healthier alternatives and some timely reminders work great. For example: If he is spending hours browsing the lego website, perha…

"1. Enforced limits are adversarial."

One of the primary jobs for parents is to set limits. Bedtime, sugar, chores, homework, etc are all forms of limits. If screentime is more adversarial than bedtime, could this be an indication of addiction?

Re: Ask HN: Parents: Best screen-time limiting software?

#23
post #20

Suggestion based on our parenting results, YMMV: 1. Enforced limits are adversarial. 2. Conversations around how the internet/devices etc are fantastic while fraught with a million pitfalls may seem too much for a 9yo to handle, but you might be surprised if you try. 3. In general, having healthier alternatives and some timely reminders work great. For example: If he is spending hours browsing the lego website, perha…

"1. Enforced limits are adversarial." One of the primary jobs for parents is to set limits. Bedtime, sugar, chores, homework, etc are all forms of limits. If screentime is more adversarial than bedtime, could this be an indication of addiction?

Emphasis is on "enforcement" than limits and we've applied it to all limits. In general, we (child + parents) agree on some limits. Sometimes they are broken, we discuss and adjust or re-iterate.

It does take more time initially, but it has resulted in a more responsible child and a more respectful child - parent relationship.

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Addiction: if the limits get broken frequently, it definitely is a sign of addiction and indicates a need for healthier alternatives.

Re: Ask HN: Parents: Best screen-time limiting software?

#24
Eventually, kids need to manage their own screentime.

It's going to be an important skill for them as an adult to self manage. Further, we don't want to apply shame/guilt to screentime just because it's screen time. There's such a huge range of activities that involve a screen. I used to think YouTube was the lowest bar of screen time, but there is generally so much deep, informational content that kids love (like History Oversimplified). So many creative activities involve a screen. And frankly it's a primary form of social interaction for older kids.

What can you do?

One thing is model better behavior as adults. As two WFH parents, this is really really hard. It means not being on screens all the time as adults. I've found if you show interest in things, your kids will too. So setting up activities you do together that don't involve screens is crucial. And doing activities BY YOURSELF that don't involve screens is crucial if you want your kids to do activities by themselves without screens.

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