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Ask HN: What are you grateful for?

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Re: Ask HN: What are you grateful for?

#21

Post by tomcam »

bheadmaster wrote: post #19

I don't understand the (American?) concept of "gratitude". I think it's because it necessarily implies someone to be grateful to, most likely a divine being or an abstraction of it (such as the spirit of universe). I see the world as a chaotic place where most things are done through pure will of humans, and random events. If somebody does something good to me, I'm grateful to them. My current employer recruited me w…

I am daily grateful because I survived an upbringing that still gives me nightmares. Lost lots of friends and family while young. Lost my thyroid to cancer so I’ll die without meds. Being alive and somewhat healthy doesn’t feel like ordinary bullshit to me. Not at all.

Re: Ask HN: What are you grateful for?

#24

Post by littlelady »

bheadmaster wrote: post #19

I don't understand the (American?) concept of "gratitude". I think it's because it necessarily implies someone to be grateful to, most likely a divine being or an abstraction of it (such as the spirit of universe). I see the world as a chaotic place where most things are done through pure will of humans, and random events. If somebody does something good to me, I'm grateful to them. My current employer recruited me w…

I think you may be confusing gratitude with "toxic positivity". Gratitude is not a weapon wielded to prevent growth, that's more like "toxic positivity", where you must be positive no matter what. Gratitude is about drawing attention to the goodness in life, whether someone is bestows that thing upon you depends on your definition of it.

There are lots of definitions of gratitude, some focus on the social aspect, others the moral aspect[1], but I have found keeping a gratitude journal to be helpful in managing my depression and anxiety, by teaching me that "happiness" and "contentment" are just as valid as "unhappiness" or "sadness".

I understand the feeling of "phoniness" you might feel practicing it, but it gets easier over time. Sometimes I'm grateful my partner made me a coffee. Or I'm grateful that a friend called to check in with me, when I was unwell. Sometimes I'm grateful my pull request was merged. It's about little things.

It's worth mentioning: being healthy, having a family, a high-paying, stable job is not "ordinary bullshit" for many people. I say this not to guilt you into being grateful, but to remind you that you seem to have a lot of goodness in your life.

[1]: https://positivepsychology.com/gratitude-appreciation/

Re: Ask HN: What are you grateful for?

#25

Post by gameman144 »

bheadmaster wrote: post #19

I don't understand the (American?) concept of "gratitude". I think it's because it necessarily implies someone to be grateful to, most likely a divine being or an abstraction of it (such as the spirit of universe). I see the world as a chaotic place where most things are done through pure will of humans, and random events. If somebody does something good to me, I'm grateful to them. My current employer recruited me w…

To be clear, while gratitude does improve happiness, the thing that I find compelling is that it improves actual tangible outcomes (e.g. goal achievement, relationship health, doctor visits, etc.)

Also, expressing gratitude for the things you have does not preclude recognizing areas that could be improved. I am grateful that I am able to walk around and use my body for exercise and sport without trouble; this doesn't mean that I think my creaky knees and back ache are good things, it just means that I appreciate those good things that I do have.

Re: Ask HN: What are you grateful for?

#27

Post by heresjohnny »

I am grateful for my above average health, a well paying job, a fortunate housing situation, and most of all my energy and focus. I have the means to be creative during the weekend in cafes and inspiring places. Something I have realized: it’s easy to lose yourself in lifestyle and social inflation, giving the impression that you’re doing just average. In fact, you’re probably doing very well.
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