Ask HN: What mindset change made the biggest positive change for you?

You can today, prepare a better life for your future self.

In other words, looking backwards, that what we are today and have today, is the result of everything we chose, did, said, and even thought, in the past. So by wielding the power of preparation, we are able to influence our own future.

Example 1: Order that nice dress today, to feel better next week at that friend's party. (Prepare a great gift, so you make them extra happy.)

Example 2: Get that driver's license this year, to take that roadtrip in the mountains next year.

Example 3: Buy groceries on this windy/rainy day for dietary purpose, to feel healthier and lighter before year end.

I don't think this made the biggest positive change for me, but it is an attitude I have found exceptionally useful, because it's an exceptional behavior that I don't see in others:

If you're struggling, search harder. Specifically, search. Not work--you're probably already working hard if you're struggling. But so many problems people have are proximity based, and sometimes you need to exhaust your search options before you figure out that the problem you had is really difficult to solve, because nearly no one is addressing it on a statistical basis.

This applies to finding a good price on repairs, finding a decent paying job, or understanding if you're solving a general solution in a known suboptimal way.

Search harder. A lot of our actions depend on the information we collect and how we process it to make decisions. And most people you know aren't going out of their way to understand what information they have at their disposal. They're making decisions based on what is in front of them.

And a lot of life we live today is based on interactions we make with people we don't know thinking a lot about how they can be the one to present information to us, and sometimes by explicitly leaving alternative information out.

I hope that helps you see life through a different prism.

Always be prepared to use opportunities when they appear. Because they will appear no matter how bad the situation is.

I admit this may sound a bit odd (and possibly even mildy schizophrenic), but I adopted the shell-kernel model for interactions. Now, when someone says something I agree or disagree with, it goes first through the shell, giving me some time to filter it, analyze it, and consider whether or not a response is really required. If the shell says, hey, take a look at this, only then does the kernel respond. The result is that most of the time the kernel stays calm, cool, relaxed and can focus on important things (and also, ensure any responses are polite rather than overly aggressive or confrontational).

It was a bit tricky at first, because people might think I'm ignoring them (or even somewhat autistic), so the shell has to be personable and pay attention and act like a normal human being. The real benefit, however, is that the whole 'triggered' thing (rather prevalent in today's society) just stops being a problem, and you get a little breathing space in which to think about how best to respond to someone.