Ask HN: Is Therapy Helpful? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: Is Therapy Helpful?

#21

Post by b20000 » Wed, Oct 05, 2022, 3:14 PM UTC

digianarchist wrote: post #14

b20000 wrote: post #10

i tried talk therapy and it did not work. the main reason being that the therapist had no first hand experience starting a company or her own practice and no experience with career related issues. so it is important to choose the right one. there is a huge void / opportunity IMHO for ex founders or tech people in genral to become therapists and heal people in our industry going through stuff like this.

Honestly those aren't subjects I would raise with a therapist. It sounds like you need a career advisor or mentor with experience.

i disagree… these issues are intertwined. career advisors have no clue about mental health issues, anxiety, depression, PTSD and so on.

Re: Ask HN: Is Therapy Helpful?

#22

Post by dnissley » Wed, Oct 05, 2022, 4:21 PM UTC

giantg2 wrote: post #19

dnissley wrote: post #7

Yes, if you can find one that you connect with. IIRC there is research that shows the quality of your relationship with your therapist is the main determinator for therapy's effectiveness. My experience is that this is quite difficult to find, as there isn't a way to do therapist "speed dating".

Most therapists, being aware of that research, at least give a 15 minute call to get a general idea of fit and stuff.

Huh, I never thought to ask. Never been offered that though. I'll give this a shot and report back the next time HN discourses on therapy.

Re: Ask HN: Is Therapy Helpful?

#23

Post by giantg2 » Wed, Oct 05, 2022, 4:26 PM UTC

dnissley wrote: post #22

giantg2 wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Most therapists, being aware of that research, at least give a 15 minute call to get a general idea of fit and stuff.

Huh, I never thought to ask. Never been offered that though. I'll give this a shot and report back the next time HN discourses on therapy.

The few places I talked to seem to actually require it (along with intake forms and questionnaires).

Re: Ask HN: Is Therapy Helpful?

#24

Post by jfengel » Wed, Oct 05, 2022, 6:25 PM UTC

brundolf wrote: post #13

Absolutely, but , know that finding the right therapist is less like finding a doctor, and more like dating or finding a church. One isn't interchangeable for another; you may have to search around a bit. A good therapist is someone who: - Really listens to you, and doesn't dismiss your feelings and experiences or try to put them in a box. - (Gently) pushes you to dig into things and really uncover real stuff that le…

Indeed, finding my therapist felt a LOT like dating. I went to the Psychology Today site, entered a few compatibility parameters, and then scanned through the list.

And I admit that the first pass was a lot on how they looked, whether they seemed like somebody I would trust. That was distressingly like dating, and I kinda worried that I was actually applying the same criteria.

I finally found somebody like 20 pages down. It wouldn't have occurred to me to use the keywords that would have led me to that person, but it felt correct. I talked with them and a few other top candidates, and picked the one who seemed right.

It has worked out very well. Incidentally, they're also doing parts/IFS type things.

Re: Ask HN: Is Therapy Helpful?

#25

Post by idontwantthis » Thu, Oct 06, 2022, 1:51 PM UTC

brundolf wrote: post #13

Absolutely, but , know that finding the right therapist is less like finding a doctor, and more like dating or finding a church. One isn't interchangeable for another; you may have to search around a bit. A good therapist is someone who: - Really listens to you, and doesn't dismiss your feelings and experiences or try to put them in a box. - (Gently) pushes you to dig into things and really uncover real stuff that le…

I want to add that I think even attempting to get help is helpful on its own.

You can at least find out what help looks like and get à better perspective on your problems.