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Ask HN: Tips to relearn how to care about my job?

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Re: Ask HN: Tips to relearn how to care about my job?

#21

Post by blatherard »

> Maybe therapy could help.

I think this is where I'd start. At times in my life I focused my efforts at solving my unhappiness by thinking I needed to change my job. In retrospect I mostly did that because I found it easier or more socially acceptable to say something like "I hate my job" than "I am lonely and depressed" (even when only thinking it to myself). Therapy was pretty good at working through some of this, at least for me.

Of course, there are jobs that aren't right for a person. Talking to someone might help you sort out whether that's the case.

Re: Ask HN: Tips to relearn how to care about my job?

#22

Post by s1k3 »

twblalock wrote: post #11

If you got a job at a high-status tech company in California, you can get another job at a different tech company. It's like complaining you got into Harvard and other Ivy League schools wouldn't want you. If you want to work on something different, you can only do that by getting a different job, either in the same company or at another one. If you stay where you are, you know you won't get what you want, so you nee…

You’re missing the point. He’s unmotivated despite where he is. He’s trying to figure out why, not simply to walk over to the greener grass.

Re: Ask HN: Tips to relearn how to care about my job?

#23

Post by gardenhedge »

rychco wrote: post #17
artificialLimbs wrote: post #7

1.)Have kids. 2.)Work at doing something else, since you clearly don’t like what you’re doing. Looks like you’re already doing that, so just keep going. Could your physical activity and health be what’s affecting your mental state?

I don't mean to be rude, but 'Have kids' may be one of the single worst pieces of advice you could give someone who is "plagued with exhaustion and lack of motivation".

Is that backed up by evidence?

Re: Ask HN: Tips to relearn how to care about my job?

#24

Post by softfalcon »

fasterik wrote: post #5
vellum wrote: post #3

You don't have to care about your job. Most people have about four good hours of work in them. Just do your four hours, and take the rest of the day off. No job is worth burnout.

Or find something to work on that you actually care about. I don't have any trouble working on something for 12 hours a day when I find it intrinsically interesting and meaningful.

No matter how much you love it, 12 hours a day will never be healthy long term. This is what pro level athletes do to compete and get into the Olympics and they regularly burn out after a few years of it.

I strongly urge you to take the time to establish a long term pace that will allow you to regularly decompress from work, learning, and stress every single day as well as whole “step-away” moments for weeks at a time to allow you to completely disconnect at regular intervals throughout the year.

Based on your description, you’re young and your youth is powering this ability to keep going. Even if you take perfect care of your health, this energy will decline with age, more health complications will arise merely by being older, life will put more expectations on you, or conversely, a lack of life due to grinding too hard professionally will bring depression and loneliness.

Think carefully about how maintainable your perspective on work and life is for what will be at minimum the next 20 years.

Stay safe and take care of yourself.

Re: Ask HN: Tips to relearn how to care about my job?

#25

Post by systemvoltage »

rychco wrote: post #17
artificialLimbs wrote: post #7

1.)Have kids. 2.)Work at doing something else, since you clearly don’t like what you’re doing. Looks like you’re already doing that, so just keep going. Could your physical activity and health be what’s affecting your mental state?

I don't mean to be rude, but 'Have kids' may be one of the single worst pieces of advice you could give someone who is "plagued with exhaustion and lack of motivation".

Having a responsibility of kids is a good motivator and releases seratonin/dopamine through parent-child bonding.

Re: Ask HN: Tips to relearn how to care about my job?

#26

Post by zaptheimpaler »

Here's some good advice on what not to do, which you might be doing:

https://experimentalhistory.substack.com/p/excuse-me-but-why...

Your problem is not that your "mental state is affecting your ability to learn effectively" as if you were a robot created only to work and learn. Look at yourself with some dignity and compassion.

Re: Ask HN: Tips to relearn how to care about my job?

#27

Post by tunesmith »

I think you need to answer what it is you like about your career, independent of your job. Like, I just simply love understanding problems to the point that I can identify a solution that makes it easier for everyone to understand. That's independent of my job, but I get good-enough satisfaction if my job allows me to scratch that itch.

If your job isn't allowing you to express what you love about your career, then you have something to go on in terms of changing your job. But if you're finding you actually don't love your career, that that would imply a different path entirely.

Re: Ask HN: Tips to relearn how to care about my job?

#28

Post by jmckib »

Have you considered working for a company with goals that you find more meaningful? For me working in biotech has provided that, but you need to find what's right for you. Don't spend your life working on "clones of other similar products with a slightly better price point". Your words!

Therapy probably couldn't hurt either, but you should make your career move soon if you can. Burnout takes a long time to recover from. Personally I burned out from working long hours and it took years to recover from, even though I was enjoying my work and found it meaningful. Don't overwork yourself.

Re: Ask HN: Tips to relearn how to care about my job?

#29

Post by alex_suzuki »

rychco wrote: post #17
artificialLimbs wrote: post #7

1.)Have kids. 2.)Work at doing something else, since you clearly don’t like what you’re doing. Looks like you’re already doing that, so just keep going. Could your physical activity and health be what’s affecting your mental state?

I don't mean to be rude, but 'Have kids' may be one of the single worst pieces of advice you could give someone who is "plagued with exhaustion and lack of motivation".

I agree. It is completely unfathomable to me how someone could give this advice.

Similarly ridiculous, couples going through a relationship crisis often receive this kind of “advice” to “fix their relationship”.

The only people who might think this is a great idea probably don’t have kids…

Re: Ask HN: Tips to relearn how to care about my job?

#30

Post by shafyy »

duped wrote: post #14

This is called burnout, you don't fix it by doing more work - including self study. Take a long weekend every few weeks, go to yosemite. Or fly to vegas and cut loose. Pick up golf or pickleball or whatever. Make some friends who aren't engineers and live a bit. Then you can come back to work with a fresh mind and care enough to get your shit done well.

It's not necessarily burn out. I mean, it's possible that the job's just boring. Some people can handle boring jobs better than others, mentally.
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