Addictive drugs
I would argue that drugs are habit-forming in general due to the cause of why people want them -- pain relief.
Ask HN: What to avoid in life?
21–30 of 90 posts
Re: Ask HN: What to avoid in life?
#22Fear.
To consciously avoid, is to avoid conscience.
Re: Ask HN: What to avoid in life?
#23Avoid toxic people and drama.
There are people who want to focus on everything wrong around them, and tend to amplify it and create drama. If you find yourself around people like this try to create some distance or cut them out of the picture entirely. If you find that you’re always surrounded by people like this take some time to try to figure out how and why that is happening.
Re: Ask HN: What to avoid in life?
#24Earlier quoted context omitted.
Not borrowing money is bad advice. The best way to become rich is leveraged investment. A mortgage is simply a 5X leveraged investment in real estate. With interest rates around 3% on a 30-year fixed, tax deductible, you’re actually winding up borrowing at below inflation. Then you’re building principal too, yours and not your landlords. I wish I’d realized this sooner. When you’re young you could even consider borro…
Are you advising people to take out a loan and dump it in the stock market?
I mean I’m not saying you should go get a high interest loan that would force you into bankruptcy and drop it into SPY and hope for the best, but sure, if you have access to cheap capital and a huge runway to recover.
For instance you can take out a mortgage and then instead of paying it off as fast as you can, investing your free cash flow. That’s the same thing, but when presented that way it seems far less offensive.
Re: Ask HN: What to avoid in life?
#25- Avoid borrowing money, be it in the form of credit cards or even worse, mortgage. I know this is not something you want to hear if you are on a mortgage deal already. But borrowing can limit your freedom in ways that are not immediately obvious. You trade your freedom for illusory prosperity. That said, a business loan for your business may not be such a bad idea. - If your plan is to become an entrepreneur, start…
Not borrowing money is bad advice. The best way to become rich is leveraged investment. A mortgage is simply a 5X leveraged investment in real estate. With interest rates around 3% on a 30-year fixed, tax deductible, you’re actually winding up borrowing at below inflation. Then you’re building principal too, yours and not your landlords. I wish I’d realized this sooner. When you’re young you could even consider borro…
Like I said borrowing for business is a bit different, so yes you can borrow to invest.
However, a personal 30-year loan if you have nothing else but a mediocre salary may not be such a great idea. Essentially you will be tied to one place for up to 30 years or less if you are lucky.
Re: Ask HN: What to avoid in life?
#26Regret.
The older I become, the more I’ve come to terms that one day I’m going to die. I’ve watched both my parents pass and I’m fairly young (36). Since my mother’s death, I’ve focused on my own demise in a productive way: I always ask if my actions can lead to regret. Not the nonsense regret of not picking the correct job, stock, or purchase but real regret.
Is this release getting in the way of me being a better husband? Is my work trip causing me to miss family time?
Everyone is driven and I’m no exception but what can I do to minimize my regret?
In other words, on your death bed, will I regret not having X more money or will I regret not seeing my kids first steps? Rephrase that question to suit your situation and that should be your driver.
And if you will regret not making more money or doing X product, that’s fine too; that should be your focus. Just figure out what you want, regardless if it changes year to year and pursue it.
P.S. Also avoid caring what others think. They’re not going to die instead of you. Their opinion is worthless. (This includes me if you disagree)
Re: Ask HN: What to avoid in life?
#27Bad managers. A bad manager will make or break your experience at a company. Doesn’t matter how great the project is, or the people you’re working with. Do your due diligence, ask around, and if you get even a hint of shenanigans run for the hills. Similarly if you find yourself with one plan an exit asap. The priority order when you find a team is: 1- manager, 2- team and 3- how closely the project as is aligns with…
I had a manager at Microsoft -- I called him a "practice manager" because he had little experience managing and was just given a handful of people to wrangle -- and it was absolutely miserable. He interfered with my technical decisions, undermined me in meetings, and did a really shitty job defending me in stack rankings. At one point, after he refused to supply me with a workstation that would work ("That's the computer we gave you, you'll just have to deal with it"), I spent a bunch of my own money on my own hardware so that I could do my job [in retrospect, I should have gone up the management chain long before that].
A few years later he tried to use me as a reference for a certain other large software company. Let's just say they got an earful.
Fifteen years and I'm still angry at that jerk. If you have a bad manager, fire them.
Re: Ask HN: What to avoid in life?
#28Bad managers. A bad manager will make or break your experience at a company. Doesn’t matter how great the project is, or the people you’re working with. Do your due diligence, ask around, and if you get even a hint of shenanigans run for the hills. Similarly if you find yourself with one plan an exit asap. The priority order when you find a team is: 1- manager, 2- team and 3- how closely the project as is aligns with…
To take this a step further, you really want to find great managers and avoid average ones. Managers who take the time to get to know you, know what motivates you, run teams that are collaborative, shield you from nonsense but provide visibility for you, believe in work/life balance, are fair and challenge you and your team. Without this you may do okay but you won’t grow as quickly as you might otherwise and may fin…
To me, 90% of a managers job is to act as a shit shield from above.
Re: Ask HN: What to avoid in life?
#29A seemingly pithy statement would be: Avoid Avoidance.
Most spiritual texts talk of the dangers of following desires, and avoiding something is almost the same as following one's desires. The degree of difference is in how you look, either toward what you want, or away from what you don't want.
Unfortunately, as I go thru life I realise the spiritual texts are probably right and that giving into desires leads to more selfishness, which leads to giving into more desires... a never-ending cycle.
So I would dispute the wisdom in 'filtering' out undesirables, and realise that we're all on this rock, and being selfish leads nowhere but different peoples being unable to communicate and relate.
It's better to learn acceptance, and if something comes your way that you don't like, then try and learn why it is so & why you react so. Asking "why?" Is a far more powerful concept than 'filtering'.
Re: Ask HN: What to avoid in life?
#30Cults. Learn to see what they are early on, learn what groups are considered to be cults, read Lifton's "Thought Reform and the Ideology of Totalism" ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thought_Reform_and_the_Psychol... ), stay away.
Anyone who is vulnerable to cults is likely vulnerable for reasons other than lacking a warning.