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Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

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Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#21

Post by duncan-donuts »

scottndecker wrote: post #13

In my experience, when I'm burnt out, I find a new side project to get excited about. Excitement in one area of my life bleeds into others. I've worked on new apps, starting a company, woodworking projects, training my dog. Whatever it is, find something that awakens you again. It's best if you can see it possibly leading to a new career. That way it'll give you hope for and ownership over your future.

While I tend to do this as well it is important to also say taking time to do nothing is also a good use of time. We can’t do everything and sometimes when you’re already burnt out putting a ton of energy into something new can make things worse. YMMV

Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#22

Post by codingslave »

Here's what I would advise. Do not under any circumstances quit your job. I've lived through a similar scenario, and while I had a ton of savings, quitting my job resulted in chaos. Poor sleep schedule, dropping motivation, etc. I would get a therapist. Secondly, if your job is stressful, try and find another developer job at a large slow moving, mediocre paying corporation. Mostly recovering from burnout takes time, you just need to weather it out.

Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#23

Post by anaphor »

lostgame wrote: post #4
Nursie wrote: post #2

1. Realise work is subservient to life, you work to enable life, not the other way around. As such re-evaluate and keep your goal in mind . 2. If work isn't taking you where you where you want to go and worse, if it's hurting you, you need to either find a new tack or different work. I know this is easy to say from a position of privilege, but would it be hard for you to change post or change company?

Firstly - thanks so much for your input. Secondly - I’m concerned about the interim - I don’t want to leave my post here without having a plan. My company is amazing and treats me very well. I just recognize that unfortunately right now I’d certainly be better off in a position where I could work remotely more, for instance. I don’t know how possible or plausible that is. I’m in the process of figuring that out.

Do you happen to have a CV or something available? What sort of remote job are you looking for? I will do my best to see if I know of anything that might be a good fit for you. I am in the Toronto area as well.

Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#24

Post by Ididntdothis »

lostgame wrote: post #17
Ididntdothis wrote: post #5

Do you do any psychological therapy? I don't think you can pull through such a crisis alone or by working hard. I have had similar situations in the past and I have learned that mental well-being is the most important thing. Trying to power through usually doesn't work. Also: When I had trouble I was too embarrassed to tell anybody but actually talking about it is very therapeutical.

I’ve been embarrassed to be honest and also, I suppose, being dishonest with myself and coping with the stress in extremely stupid ways, just being with friends all the time because I really don’t like being alone and having to process everything. My plan is to go to my psychiatrist tomorrow morning, I spent today with my bestie to firstly relax and sort my thoughts out, and told her about some of what’s been going o…

Yes talk to your psychiatrist and your bestie. Often just saying things aloud helps. Definitely don’t worry too much about work. Jobs come and go but your mental health stays with you.

Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#25

Post by buserror »

I went thru that, without external support over 10 years ago -- basically my ability to concentrate and enjoy work vanished... It took me a year to 'recover' -- I don't think I was ever 100% of what I was before TBH, but it's because it helped me realise that there isn't JUST work that matters. I am a lot more pragmatic about work these days, and I no longer 'live to work' as I did before.

I don't know if any of these suggestions will help, but perhaps you should pick up a hobby, something that is not too taxing and is still rewarding. It can but doesn't have to be tech related either. For me it was Photography, and I do a lot of landscape photography to this day -- but it could be anything, perhaps these days I would pick Archery (field archery is a super way to 'zen' out).

The idea is to get back the feeling of doing something you enjoy, and it doesn't requires weeks of setup or zillions of hours of practice to enjoy yourself.

If your company is cool with it, perhaps negotiate a 4 day week, and take that one day for yourself to really unwind. Don't stare at the TV tho, so the thing you enjoy, and go out and do it.

But ultimately, what I suggest is that in the future you watch over your work/life balance. Take care of yourself!

Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#26

Post by kenshi »

lostgame wrote: post #17
Ididntdothis wrote: post #5

Do you do any psychological therapy? I don't think you can pull through such a crisis alone or by working hard. I have had similar situations in the past and I have learned that mental well-being is the most important thing. Trying to power through usually doesn't work. Also: When I had trouble I was too embarrassed to tell anybody but actually talking about it is very therapeutical.

I’ve been embarrassed to be honest and also, I suppose, being dishonest with myself and coping with the stress in extremely stupid ways, just being with friends all the time because I really don’t like being alone and having to process everything. My plan is to go to my psychiatrist tomorrow morning, I spent today with my bestie to firstly relax and sort my thoughts out, and told her about some of what’s been going o…

You are dealing with a lot, in a compressed period of time.

Try to remember that your first priority and responsibility is looking after your own mental, physical and spiritual (I don't mean this in a religious sense) well being.

In your situation, work really should be the lowest priority that you can afford to make it. If you can afford to take extended time off to deal with everything you need to, I would highly recommend that you give it serious consideration.

Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#27

Post by darkmighty »

My two cents: give yourself some time; try to take it easy on the job (even if you feel pressure to complete -- "force" yourself to take it easy) or find another job. It's incredible how a little time goes a long way in relieving many symptoms of distress. And then, add some enjoyable things in moderation to your routine, like a hobby, playing music, dancing, etc, to help divert worry from the job (and reward yourself with satisfying activities).

Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#28

Post by avtar »

lostgame wrote: post #4
Nursie wrote: post #2

1. Realise work is subservient to life, you work to enable life, not the other way around. As such re-evaluate and keep your goal in mind . 2. If work isn't taking you where you where you want to go and worse, if it's hurting you, you need to either find a new tack or different work. I know this is easy to say from a position of privilege, but would it be hard for you to change post or change company?

Firstly - thanks so much for your input. Secondly - I’m concerned about the interim - I don’t want to leave my post here without having a plan. My company is amazing and treats me very well. I just recognize that unfortunately right now I’d certainly be better off in a position where I could work remotely more, for instance. I don’t know how possible or plausible that is. I’m in the process of figuring that out.

That parent comment resonated with me. I would be concerned if my primary coping mechanism was work. Do you have plans for more self-care activities?

I'm in Toronto as well and have been working through some mental hardships over the past year or so. UHN is amazing if you need a team on your side. Please reach out if you need more detailed info, email is in my profile.

Hang in there.

Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#29

Post by AdrianB1 »

I am not a therapist, so my opinion is not medical advice, but this what I would do: take a few vacations of 2-3 weeks each and travel on the continent; nothing fancy, just a disconnect. I have a few friends that I take for a very long bike ride, if you have anyone that can join you it's a great thing to do; the purpose is to disconnect, so the destination does not matter, just the activity. The second activity: get a bunch of books (non-technical), go to a cabin in the woods and read. I prefer science fiction or fiction, not poetry as most of the poetry has a depressing effect on me.

Don't do this for less than a full week, it has no significant effect.

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