Try finding a hobby that you enjoy that isn't related to tech. I personally find woodworking and knife making to be a fantastic escape from staring at a screen all day.
Ask HN: Seemingly unable to recover from burnout. Please advise
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Re: Ask HN: Seemingly unable to recover from burnout. Please advise
#22Interesting read. It sounds like you lack a "mission" that your startup job provided, and just any old arbitrary mission can't replace it. My advice would be to figure out what you want out of life: wife, kids, where would you live, what would you do, etc. And I don't mean look fir a new job I mean what do you want to dedicate your life to. Maybe religion, maybe service work, maybe cocaine and hookers. It's up to you…
The problem is, I don't know what I want out of life right now. I like to drink and party, but that's not a "mission." I would like a wife and children someday, but not soon. Same thing with home ownership. I don't really know what I want immediately.
> but the reality is that the point of working is to get money so you can fund your life.
When I left X, I got some severance pay. So my life right now is essentially funded, and I still feel lost.
Re: Ask HN: Seemingly unable to recover from burnout. Please advise
#23Sorry to hear your story. I would encourage you to think about why therapy didn't help. It can take a few tries to find a therapist that works for you. While you may feel safe talking to them, it still doesn't mean they're going to be able to help you in the way that you personally need. I would look for a new therapist.
That seems to be a common theme. I'm not opposed, but my health insurance situation is...complicated. (What with leaving my job etc) This country's healthcare system is absurd, but that's a discussion for another thread.
Re: Ask HN: Seemingly unable to recover from burnout. Please advise
#24Healthy mind in a healthy body. Eating well and exercising is not enough, you have to let your brain rest. Working crazy hours for long periods of time will affect your mental health more than your physical health. Unfortunately I cannot give you more advice than what worked for me: taking long walks or going on hikes in nature. And switching jobs to work for a company that respects my free time.
A friend of mine who was also working at my previous workplace and also burned out took a job at the post office for a year. They didn’t understand why he was applying there with his qualifications. He told them he was sick of intellectual work and just wanted to move boxes from point A to point B all day long. He was hired. It may sound stupid but it helped him and he’s better now. I’m not saying you should take a s…
I've considered that. I've considered applying for a job as an auto mechanic. I like working with my hands. However, other than basic stuff like changing oil and spark plugs, I'm relatively uneducated about working on cars.
Re: Ask HN: Seemingly unable to recover from burnout. Please advise
#25What helped me un-burn myself was focusing on creating as many serendipitously boring moments as possible. I canceled all pre-made plans, stopped pursuing any goal outside of existing, and did things because I was bored and felt like doing them. Our culture is 110% fail-forward, goal-oriented, growth-mindset madness that doesn't give us time to relax and chill out. I'm not talking about pursuing a hedonistic lifestyl…
Isn't that what I'm more or less doing now? Other than the "dumb job" part? There is no pressure on me to do anything, really. (Except pressure I put on myself to exercise once a day) I spend large quantities of my time watching Netflix/playing video games. Isn't that "just existing"?
Well, maybe you need more of it?
I got a sense from your comment that you are "trying things" after feeling unsatisfied in an attempt to fix yourself.
Maybe there is nothing to fix and you need more time that's all.
Sorry, it sounds like you are arguing with me but I'm just trying to help.
Re: Ask HN: Seemingly unable to recover from burnout. Please advise
#26You need to re-program yourself. It's hared when you program yourself to keep pushing, improving, growing etc and then you start feeling like you're always at rock bottom.
You might need to learn how to accept what you are and be comfortable and fully aware you're not going to be great. I had to learn how to just accept.. well me. Who I am and all my failures, waisted efforts with no "growth".
What have I done to reprogram myself? I go to a coffee shop and just read a book that is not tech related. I write in my book about what "depresses" me about myself. e.g, confronting my ego head on. I sit outside in a park listening to music like a crazy person the call my mom; which I do daily.
Feel free to email me at my user name followed by gee mail.
Re: Ask HN: Seemingly unable to recover from burnout. Please advise
#27How is your sleep? I find that eating, exercising and sleeping are the base activities from which everything else follows. You mentioned the other two but not sleep. You mentioned seeing a therapist, but have you taken your symptoms to a doctor? It is possible that your issues stem from a physical illness as opposed to a situation. On the subject of practical advice, I suggest keeping a journal or diary of your moods…
Sleep answered in a comment above. No, I haven't been to a doctor. I assume this is all mental. Is it possible I've developed a chronic, physical illness? What would be an example?
You could be deficient in regards to vitamins. That plays a huge part in mental health. You can "look healthy", but be absolutely in shit condition underneath.
Re: Ask HN: Seemingly unable to recover from burnout. Please advise
#28What helped me un-burn myself was focusing on creating as many serendipitously boring moments as possible. I canceled all pre-made plans, stopped pursuing any goal outside of existing, and did things because I was bored and felt like doing them. Our culture is 110% fail-forward, goal-oriented, growth-mindset madness that doesn't give us time to relax and chill out. I'm not talking about pursuing a hedonistic lifestyl…
Isn't that what I'm more or less doing now? Other than the "dumb job" part? There is no pressure on me to do anything, really. (Except pressure I put on myself to exercise once a day) I spend large quantities of my time watching Netflix/playing video games. Isn't that "just existing"?
>I have no passion, motivation, or purpose.
See this is what I mean. Is that bad?
Culturally we are forced to have those things but they aren't necessary.
My grandfather worked at a quarry for 50 years and came home every day to have dinner, a Budweiser, read a book and maybe tv.
His loved sitting outside and watching birds in the summer but I would never describe that as his "passion".
Seems boring but he was content and had a happy life.
Re: Ask HN: Seemingly unable to recover from burnout. Please advise
#29How is your sleep? I find that eating, exercising and sleeping are the base activities from which everything else follows. You mentioned the other two but not sleep. You mentioned seeing a therapist, but have you taken your symptoms to a doctor? It is possible that your issues stem from a physical illness as opposed to a situation. On the subject of practical advice, I suggest keeping a journal or diary of your moods…
Sleep answered in a comment above. No, I haven't been to a doctor. I assume this is all mental. Is it possible I've developed a chronic, physical illness? What would be an example?
There are a number of illnesses that can cause the symptoms you are describing such as ME or Lyme disease. There are also other more dramatic possibilities that are more unlikely as I assume you are reasonably young.
It is also possible you have developed an illness like depression or dysthymia. It is possible that the strain of the previous few years has caused this to manifest somehow.
I also recently read an article about sleep apnea which can cause chronic fatigue like symptoms. Some people don't know they have it because they don't store the memories of waking up; often it is their partners who prompt them to seek medical help. Do you share your bed with anyone? Have they noticed anything strange about your sleep habit? A sleep study might reveal something you weren't expecting.
But for sure, the first thing to do is to just talk this over with an actual doctor and not a computer programmer (me) who likes to read Wikipedia for fun.
Re: Ask HN: Seemingly unable to recover from burnout. Please advise
#30Have you considered finding something a little more substantial?
I can relate to burnout, but the only thing that fixed me was getting some faith in me and my place in the world once again. Time off and being nice to myself (I mostly couldn't care less) did nothing. In fact it was worse than nothing.
No idea where your interests lie, but have you considered some months of volunteering? There's loads of options like medical service overseas, or for one of the overseas third world projects, or something environmental - to get you out amongst the world and environment again, perhaps at a charity or group restoring some historical artefact - whether machine, IT, steam engine or building there seem to be lots of places for willing, intelligent volunteers. Even some weeks at a commune or Buddhist retreat - many of those want temporary helpers too.
I'm sure you can find something that appeals to the deeper you, and doing something more concrete should give you a little faith once again. You may also get a clearer idea of where you want to go next.