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Ask HN: Resources for introverted devs to learn workplace politics?

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Re: Ask HN: Resources for introverted devs to learn workplace politics?

#21

Post by dominotw »

One common trait that makes introverts introverts is that we all are driven by the relentless desire to be thought of as a good guy, to live up to the image that others have built about us, to live up to the image that you have built about yourself.

Hard to tell why only some ppl 'suffer' from this. Maybe years of praise by parents/school teachers that you are some sort of 'good guy' and you yourself start believing that be to true at some point.

You could do a million things to overcome it but all of those would work shortterm and you would revert straight back to your introvert self as long as you have desire to be thought of as a good guy. Only sustainable "solution" to this problem is solve this issue.

Re: Ask HN: Resources for introverted devs to learn workplace politics?

#23

Post by petersonh »

I was in the same boat a few years ago, did this class in improv at Second City specially chartered to socially anxious people and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made:

https://trainingcentre.secondcity.com/s/sc-class-category/a2...

Hopefully they have it in your city, or a similar resource, what was nice was that everyone was there for the same reason. The first class was very difficult, but it became easier and a lot of fun by the end. Hope that helps!

Re: Ask HN: Resources for introverted devs to learn workplace politics?

#24

Post by pitt1980 »

sopooneo wrote: post #7

I absolutely sympathise and struggled with this myself to some extent. One thing that has worked for me is one-by-one adopting particular tactics that I see socially successful people using. And I mean I consciously note and incorporate them individually into my interactions. Eventually they get almost automatic. That may sound crazy and that it would look contrived. But I have never been called on it, no one has eve…

Never say 'no', is one of the staple rules of doing improv.

https://under30ceo.com/never-say-innovation-4-lessons-improv...

I've noticed that conversations tend to go in interesting directions when you try to make it a habit of not fighting the premises that conversation partners lay out.

Re: Ask HN: Resources for introverted devs to learn workplace politics?

#25

Post by cbanek »

zengid wrote: post #17

1. Politely greet the people you pass by in the halls. 2. Practice small talk: -Ask others about their lives and thoughts and work. -Listen. Try to have at least one such interaction per day. This will be really hard at first, but it gets easier. Politics is mostly leveraging relationships. You grow them with care and a little attention over a long time. Here's a secret. Most people are uncomfortable talking to other…

This is great advice. They say the way to become friends is to slowly share more details about yourself, and learn them about someone else, and be interested in both.

The only thing I should add is try and REMEMBER what they told you. If you ask the same question again and again, they will know you aren't really listening, which is almost worse than not interacting.

Re: Ask HN: Resources for introverted devs to learn workplace politics?

#27

Post by zer00eyz »

There is a lot to unpack here.

Honestly you have a work problem that is less personal and more process (or lack there of).

The key to cracking the poor specs is to return specs to the people making the requests. Learn to do quick and dirty Wireframes and storyboards. It is faster to draw a bunch of boxes and say "If I build this, is it going to do what you want". The first few times you wireframe it is going to take you a LONG time to get a product out - but if you do them for EVERYTHING your quickly going to get fast at the process. There are tons of tools to help you with this process so dont be shy about finding one that works for you and dont be afraid to go to pen and paper.

When your giving these to someone to walk through PRINT THEM OUT - people take paper an order of magnitude more seriously than an email attachment.

As for your anxiety - take public speaking - learn to give speeches, learn to tell a story that holds attention. It is a skill and you have to master it like every other one. You might not ever get to the point of being comfortable but you might be more willing to endure that discomfort if you know that you can be effective.

Re: Ask HN: Resources for introverted devs to learn workplace politics?

#28

Post by josephmosby »

Two books that really helped me were Nonviolent Communication (Marshall Rosenberg) and Radical Acceptance (Tara Brach). The specific techniques outlined in the books were helpful, but I benefited more from the mentality that you can communicate the same message in multiple tones and receive different results. Some of my colleagues have also done improv comedy courses and experienced the same outcomes.

I also received some pretty sound advice around three years into my career: "just assume that people mean nothing more or less than the literal words they said to you. Don't read more into it than they actually say." I found that if I felt awkward about a situation, I was trying to read in between lines to find some reason that a person secretly hated me or were annoyed by me. They had never actually said or done anything to indicate that they even thought twice about me once I walked away, but I made up all sorts of stories about them in my head.

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