Ask HN: How do you get past difficulty learning what's needed for a new job?

Good luck, I hope you find an answer that works for you.

I think your problem is that you don't get shit done because you get interrupted so often and than know exactly that you aren't making any progess and go straight into panic mode.

Start with step 1: close the door and start working.

See if you can get hands on with the system, preferably a staging/dev clone. Break it, try changing a feature, adding a feature, dig in anywhere that’s comfortable. Just reading docs even excellent ones isn’t always the most efficient path to grok a new system.

My advice would be: fake it till you make it.

Relax, try to split the whole thing into small pieces, try to understand how they interact with each other, try to understand the dataflow.

Also, in my experience you can never actually grok the whole system at once. It is a slow process.

And what always helps me: separate things that _actually_ matter for your work and everything else (the power of abstraction!). Not sure how to explain it properly. Basically, when I start working on a new project, the number of new things (new words, terms, abbreviations and other domain-specific stuff) is often overwhelming. But in most cases it doesn't matter. Most systems are pretty much the same: data flows here and there, this thing validates stuff, this thing calculates something, this thing stores results etc. They just have different names and use different words, but in reality they are the same thing.

Finally, it's just a job. Take care of yourself, your health (including mental), relax, take it easy.

UPD: also, really, take care of your health! Eat healthy food, do exercises/go to gym, daily walks (it makes a huge difference!), sleep well.

Also, some supplements help me a lot: vitamin D3 + K2, Zinc, Fish Oil, Magnesium + Calcium. For me it made a huge difference! You can also try L-Theanine (with coffee).

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I've raised special needs kids. I'm seriously medically handicapped myself.

Unless your children are all under the age of two, there are things you can do to empower them to take care of themselves.

Store things they need where they can reach them on their own.

If you have a microwave, set up microwave foods and microwave safe dishes near it. Let kids feed themselves when they want to. If most of the food at home is adequately nutritious and they are given some simple guidelines, this won't undermine their health.

For example: My son liked eating cold noodles from the fridge with Parmesan cheese. I told him if he had an apple to go with it, that was a perfectly acceptable light meal. He did that on his own often in elementary school.

Give them very simple rules and standards to follow, such as "I need to be able to walk to your bed, dresser and closet without hurting myself." Then let them figure out how to meet that standard.

I homeschooled while bedridden. The kids piled into bed with me and I read to them.

The point of that: Handicapped people (such as your wife) can often do a lot more than other people like to believe they can. Their physical limitations need to be accommodated, but it doesn't mean they can't do anything.

However, they frequently do not have the energy to deal with their physical limitations and also try to prove to other people that they aren't useless. So the attitude and mindset of folks around them matters a great deal in their ability to both contribute and to lead full lives.

I'm the primary breadwinner for my family unit. I work part-time and intermittently as I am able. Over time, I have gradually increased my earning capacity, in part by focusing on getting myself healthier.

In my household, we talk a lot about "primary breadwinner privilege." When I had a corporate job, my adult sons took over the women's work at home. I'm firmly convinced that a lot of men get as much done as they do because social expectation bends out of their way to accommodate The Job, not their gender per se. That line of thinking has been very helpful to me and my sons for trying to find a path forward under extremely difficult circumstances.

So it isn't being included to man bash. It's being included in hopes that it's somehow useful to you as a mental model.