Turning 36 in a month and I agree that sometimes it's hard to cope with the fact that I'm no longer in my 20's. I don't think it's the fact that i'm aging as I certainly enjoy the wisdom, the money, the confidence that age has brought me, it's the increased responsibility that seems to come with age.
People feel the need to constantly ask me (especially family members) questions like "when are you getting married" "when are you having kids". I think that's what bugs me about getting old. Feeling the need to settle down when I don't want to. The thing that I'm working on remembering is that I need to live life on my own terms and fuck what everyone else is thinking I should be doing. Same advice I would give to you. Enjoy your life no matter what age you are and live it at your own pace.
Ask HN: How did you deal with the fact that you were growing old
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Re: Ask HN: How did you deal with the fact that you were growing old
#22There is no need to "deal" with it. You're the same person you were yesterday, just a little wiser and a little slower.
Take care of your health and enjoy life.
Re: Ask HN: How did you deal with the fact that you were growing old
#23old age....the club that everyone wants to go to but nobody wants to enter
learn how to take care of yourself, your body, your mind, your relationships with family and friends and intimate partners
life is loss and learning to lose with grace
find someone professional to talk to - it sounds like you're grieving your dad (completely natural and understandable) and that you need to find peace with that grief
Re: Ask HN: How did you deal with the fact that you were growing old
#24Wow, this post gives me perspective.
I'm 53 this year, and I welcome the next few years ahead as I look forward to retirement. (I hope it's as good as I think it will be.) I don't recall ever feeling anxiety about an upcoming birthday. I guess I'd credit that to:
- A long-game mindset, mostly. Max out your retirement plan, save in tax-advantaged ways. You'll love to project your balances thinking forward. (You won't dread the years ahead.)
- Come to grips with your mortality. There are a lot of ways to do this, mine mostly has to do with religion. Find some way that works for you. Don't be afraid of death, learn to accept it.
- Find a good partner to age with. Go for a 'keeper' marriage and put in the proper maintenance.
Good luck!
Re: Ask HN: How did you deal with the fact that you were growing old
#25You're 24 and you think like this? If you don't sort out your thinking, you are headed for a miserable existence. Read the stoics, help people, visit a senior centre, get out of your head. You are a pup so your flawed thinking is forgivable and even expected. That youth is wasted on the young used to seem trite to me but when I read stuff like this I nod at that saying in sad agreement.
Edit: I will add that I'm 46, at what is statistically the nadir of contentment. I think about my aging every day and have to reconcile it with gratitude...this is how all things are reconciled.
Re: Ask HN: How did you deal with the fact that you were growing old
#26I started my own company as a 'lifestyle business' not a Unicorn-moonshot. This means I make a consistent healthy profit which I get to bring home, I make my own hours so I can take a day to see my kid's play or go rock climbing with my friends. But this business will never attract VC funding or grow to a billion dollars.
I also took up rock-climbing at the age of 46, loved it and now spend as much time as I can trad-climbing up in the mountains. This keeps me healthy strong and sane.
At 24 you seem like a kid to me. The difference between our ages is larger than your age. If you're feeling an existential crisis now what the hell are you going to do when you're 50?
Relax. You're not knocking on death's-door. It's a marathon not a sprint. You have no idea what great things and big challenges are ahead of you.
Make a bucket-list and start living. I recently found my old bucket-list from my 20s and am happily surprised at how many things I've done from the list: scuba-diving, having a family, starting my own company, making a million etc.