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Ask HN: Does anyone here suffer from a speech impediment?

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Re: Ask HN: Does anyone here suffer from a speech impediment?

#21
Stuttering and stammering since childhood. Went to a speech therapist when I was a teenager and it did help a bit, but it hasn't gone out completely. I still do it multiple times a day. As others have pointed out, phone calls, interviews and presentations are the worst. It was a huge psychological block when growing up, especially talking to girls.

What worked for me was that I read a lot. And it opened my mind. I realized that if you are good at something, and if you can excel at it and provide something of value to someone, you are going to do well in life. Also I realized that due to my speech problems, there are somethings that I may never be able to become or achieve, like a smooth talker. So I decided pretty early on, that I need to focus on my strengths and make them so awesome that my limitations are overshadowed by them.

Since I can't talk much without stuttering or stammering, I keep quiet most of the times. This has mostly led people around me to believe that I am a reticent guy who keeps his focus on the work before him. Another thing that I do is not open my mouth until I have something really concrete to say. The argument that I am going to put out, is par often well thought out, so that I don't have get into a talking situation with someone.

Even taking interviews is a tough task.

All in all, it hasn't turned out as bad as I thought. Life is still good. :)

Re: Ask HN: Does anyone here suffer from a speech impediment?

#22
There's a guy at my work who has a mild stutter. He starts every talk out with something like "My name's such and such, I have a mild stutter so don't let that bother you" and then immediately starts his talk and never mentions the stutter again. It's a smooth and quick transition, but most importantly he actually gives good talks - tells jokes, is passionate and knowledgeable, has informative and clear slides, and really makes it easy to understand his data.

The thing is, most talks are garbage. The audience really is rooting for you, because they're just desperate to hear anything interesting or see a slide that isn't just bullet-pointed text.

Re: Ask HN: Does anyone here suffer from a speech impediment?

#23
I'll split this into parts per your various questions.

=-0-=-0-=

> Anyone here have a Speech Impediment?

In early public grade school [1st-4th grade after being first noticed during Kindergarten] I had to go to the school's speech therapist; I had a speech stutter plus a mild lisp against the sound "sh" as in "shut up", a worst lisp against the sound "ch" as in "chimney", and a medium lisp against pronouncing the letter "h" as in "e-f-g-H-i-j" not the actual sound as in "Hairy Henry".

Naturally, I hated being pulled out of class x3 a week for the speech therapy; it just screamed "Hey that kid's SPED" ("SPecial EDucation") and I knew it, and I also knew it wasn't doing me any favors on making friends [the prospect of bullying for "not talking right" be damned, that just wasn't a concern for me then against actual social interaction and social familiarity being time-limited -- don't ask my how I understood this so early on, I just did]. When I switched schools in the middle of 4th grade, I still had to go to the speech therapy but then also the "catch-up sessions" for "being academically behind" too, so now I was forced to double-down on being pulled out of class. Not Good, as now I'm "Double SPED". I had to get out of that crap and the sooner the better; I had to Be Normal [which became a Life Goal, as rational or irrational as you need that to be], especially as the New Kid who just switched schools in the middle of the bloody school year.

Before that school year ended, fortunately, I managed to talk my way out of continuing the speech therapy by explaining this "SPED Stigma" to the teachers, parents, and speech therapist involved [I realized the pun of phrasing it this way only 2-3 years ago, and decided to keep it for the telling here]. I got to skip the speech therapy for the rest of time and agreed to just grit my teeth through the Catch-Up sessions until summer came. Luckily enough I had "caught up enough" to be treated as a normal student from 5th grade onward. My stutter was an occasional treat instead of an Always Thing, and the "sh//ch//h" pronunciation issues were just what they were gonna be at that point with no additional helping to be had.

By University it was clear to me that my stutter was going to manifest itself when I was overly nervous, overly excited, or mentally impaired [e.g. migraines, booze]. That's fine, no one cared or cares. For the pronunciations, guess what? One single person since 4th grade asked if I "had a lisp" and simply because he was honestly curious and we were cool at the time; if anyone else has ever noticed, they've kept their mouth shut to my face so that's all whatever on that front.

I bought a copy of "The King's Speech" after seeing it in theater. The scene with the record-player and headphones in the therapist's office, and the climactic scene with the globally national radio address, are touching.

Last year I went to a ComicCon and quite randomly got an autograph from Matt Frewer... AKA Max Headroom. I mentioned that my olde speech therapist from grade school mentioned his character numerous times in attempts to get me to be comfortable and at-least be less self-conscious, and he mentioned how whatever the national "speech therapist stutterers association of America" group at the time kept calling in to the show with good will. He also gave an obligatory compliment toward how I spoke, which I of course very much appreciated. Yes, I promptly framed the autographed Max Headroom picture with no regrets.

> What about your work, phone calls, and The Dread Pirate Presentations?

My work isn't negatively influenced. Sure, I get nervous during presentations I have to give, but since I'm aware of my own stutter whilst nervous I add in the pauses and other mental gymnastics that can help my speech; I still get error but I'm ok with that for now. Still, no one cares enough to mention; I'm still not a card-carrying member of Toast Masters, but I do listen to The Moth.

I've never had problems with conference calls or meetings; sure I'll double-up on stuff like "... what, what about XYZ?" or "But that's, what's that gonna do about ABC?", but that's normal enough conversationalist phrasing to not blip on most people's radar and no one's said anything to my face about it.

=-0-=-0-=

> Work with people with speech issues?

I knowingly have not as far as my memory is concerned, but a few years ago I did interview at a place where one of the higher-ups who interviewed me did have a severe stutter. "Stage 4", honestly speaking.

Obviously I was sympathetic and patient -- because of my above history, not necessarily because I was the on the short end of the power dynamic -- and asked for clarification on anything I just couldn't understand from his stutter as if he had had a very heavy accent instead. He seemed used to such interaction and took it in stride. I still felt uncomfortable, a lot of it due to my sympathy and empathy for him; we both had no illusions about what was going on -- there's a severe stutter here, he's clearly making an effort to being understood, I'm clearly making an effort to understand, so let's do this -- but since I was on the short end of the power dynamic I didn't want to play the "I just can't understand you" card every two minutes [yes I needed clarification at that frequency at a minimum if not sooner it was that bad].

Note: I wasn't provided an offer for that gig but it had nothing to do with this guy's stutter or my opposing behavior toward it; this was simply a Bad Fit all around and I have little regret over it.

The "good news" here is that at this company there's a higher up who has a severe stutter; people clearly have the patience [or tolerance, or professionalism, or whatever thesaurus equivalent you want to use] to have this guy around creating value.

Re: Ask HN: Does anyone here suffer from a speech impediment?

#24
I'm not sure this could be classified as a speech impediment.

But once in a while I will accidentally use the wrong word. E.g. saying blue instead of red.

Or I might change my mind mid word on what to say, and just start saying that mid word, and gibberish comes out. It's not a conscious thing, it just happens.

The only thing that bothers me, is that I swap out words. It is not always I notice, which could lead to misunderstandings that I won't be able to correct unless someone asks me to confirm what I meant.

Talking gibberish is not an issue, as I notice right away and will be able to repeat what I actually wanted to say.

I don't act differently because of it, and I do enjoy presenting

Re: Ask HN: Does anyone here suffer from a speech impediment?

#25
I stutter, it ranges from almost unnoticeable to horrible, depending on the situation.

I think it does not limit my performance or capabilities, definitely not as much as I was fearing when growing up. There are times when I can't explain clearly what I need, but it's not a big problem, there are other ways. I have no problem with meetings in person, but despite learning to overcome this my entire life, I still hate conference calls.

The general rule for dealing with it is "not giving a damn". It helps you mentally and improves the stuttering at the same time. Programming is a technical work, you don't need to say much and when you do, it's typically in between close team, so that helps. And if you have something important to say, people will take the time to understand you.

The only problem I have experienced are interviews. I make a very bad first impression and usually the rest of the interview is based on that.

Re: Ask HN: Does anyone here suffer from a speech impediment?

#26

I do. It is something called Pseudo Foreign Dialect [1], iirc. I basically have accent in every language I speak including native. As an immigrant in the US, I don't find this affects me much. A lot of people just assume this is my accent, though some wonder why my accent is not same as others from my native country. Growing up in my country, it was a bit rough, people including grownups & teachers loved to point out…

What happens to me occasionally is that I stutter in my own language, people assume I'm not a native speaker and switch to English to help me. :)

Re: Ask HN: Does anyone here suffer from a speech impediment?

#27
post #3

I am a nervous speaker and can't string together thoughts and ideas effectively. I usually end up stammering while i search for words with which to express myself. It can be torturous when I am put on the spot. It's not an impediment in the sense of a medical condition, but it definitely impedes.

I also have something similar. I have to think for a while before I can output what I'm thinking as words.

It's like having to translate it first from some foreign language... Maybe that's why I was always the "smart kid"? I managed to decouple my thinking process from any kind of language? ._.

Re: Ask HN: Does anyone here suffer from a speech impediment?

#28
I've been stuttering since a child and still do so . Therapy as a kid did help me a little bit but I know its never going to go away . I'm not going to get into how speaking to girls/taking calls and presentations is not only difficult but also crippling especially when you see the person you address run out of patience and complete the sentence for you . Its affected me a lot and I dont think I'll ever be able to get over the social anxiety . So i started compensating by throwing myself into books and music as an escape mechanism . When that didnt help much I started drinking heavily and doing drugs . I still do drugs and drink to avoid the embaressemnt around my speech impediment and the fact that I dont stutter when I speak , but not as heavily as I used to . I've just stopped caring what people think at this point in time and still give conference talks and take interviews

Re: Ask HN: Does anyone here suffer from a speech impediment?

#29
post #28

I've been stuttering since a child and still do so . Therapy as a kid did help me a little bit but I know its never going to go away . I'm not going to get into how speaking to girls/taking calls and presentations is not only difficult but also crippling especially when you see the person you address run out of patience and complete the sentence for you . Its affected me a lot and I dont think I'll ever be able to ge…

What i would be interested in knowing from people who have been stuttering for years now is how they deal with it on a daily basis apart from not giving a damn

Re: Ask HN: Does anyone here suffer from a speech impediment?

#30

I have a mild stutter, I generally just call it a "vocal catch" because it's usually getting stuck and not being able to produce a sound instead of repeating a syllable. Usually only happens a couple times a day during normal conversation. More so when emotional. IM is awesome. Very glad that's a thing. I have a penchant for looking up a new word's synonyms. Which usually results in having a couple of "escape hatches…

I am the same way. Also have a mild stutter since childhood. I have found over the years that pausing mid sentence for just a second will bring back that natural flow. I've never been questioned on it for years, and don't believe it sounds awkward, which is really all I care about. And yes, I will also substitute words if I can predict that they'll get me. It's quite easy to tell when it's coming.

I am still a very confident person in social situations. It doesn't affect my normal adult life. In middle school it was an issue, but I've learned to control it as I got older.

Reflecting on it now, I stutter more often when I'm with people I'm most comfortable with. Family especially, close friends, girlfriend, etc. Perhaps because my 'speech guard' is completely down. But really isn't much at all, if any.

Interviewing for the current job I have now taught me a lesson in humility. I was speaking fast, my brain was racing and it brought out the worst I've spoken in a long time. I was embarrassed because I just couldn't seem to recover, but determined not to show it. I apologized, regardless. Staying calm and collected has always been the key for me.

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