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Ask HN: Do you think career and family is either-or?
21–30 of 47 posts
Re: Ask HN: Do you think career and family is either-or?
#22If you're going to be a leader, have some kids. It engenders understanding, compassion, and common sense. The last thing tech needs is another Travis Kalanick.
Re: Ask HN: Do you think career and family is either-or?
#23>> more than 1 kid, and spouse doesn't work...
>> my partner would like a big family...
>> She also grew up in a richer family than mine. She seems to be used to a higher life quality. I feel some pressure about it. but I have never talked with her about it for the fear for disagreement...
This is not about "career vs. family" but "your way of life vs. her way of life". If you want to build a company and try to make a fortune first and have a family later then you have to tell it to her. She may leave you, but hey, living your own life as a single entrepreneur is much better than living someone else's life as a married man.
Re: Ask HN: Do you think career and family is either-or?
#24Career is a spectrum. If you're charging hard & working 12+ hours a day then yes family isn't happening. There are loads of jobs where 8 hours + family is very viable though.
Re: Ask HN: Do you think career and family is either-or?
#25If you're going to be a leader, have some kids. It engenders understanding, compassion, and common sense. The last thing tech needs is another Travis Kalanick.
It should engender those things but it won't for everyone. Plenty of examples out there of where it hasnt.
Re: Ask HN: Do you think career and family is either-or?
#26In my opinion: depends on what "career" means for you. I am 25 and I am managing two start ups (as VP and CEO), both of which will have multi-million exits in the next five years. In addition, I have a couple of side projects I am involved with, mostly company shares managed through my holding. So, I'd say I am a career guy in the middle of that very career. And at this point, there is hardly any time for family thin…
If you were CEO of the one startup and no side projects how would that affect your hours? Would you have time for kids do you think (should you want to)?
Re: Ask HN: Do you think career and family is either-or?
#27I guess I'm lucky in that I don't have much of a career mapped out. I enjoy coding and although I'd like to run a business in the future it's going to be a lifestyle one most likely.
Ironically my (our) net wealth has increased fastest while having children simply by buying a suitable house before a boom kicked off in my city. Outstripping my wages and any E(V) from starting a business!
Re: Ask HN: Do you think career and family is either-or?
#28You could go looking for some general demographic information, but this is really very much a personal matter. Some people work their butts off to provide for the family. Some people are too busy working their butts off to bother with a family.
You likely won't get very meaningful responses here because you are asking a question that is far more personal than you realize. And even if you did get deep, meaningful replies from the heart, most of them would not be pertinent because the heart's of other people are not your heart and may not be anything like your heart.
Re: Ask HN: Do you think career and family is either-or?
#29Earlier quoted context omitted.
I do. I wrote this based on my personal situation and my current girl friend's (potential wife). She is capable and a very good person. But her field of study isn't as money many as an engineering field. I believe she will contribute to the family as much as she could (even not financially ). But I can't ask more than that. She also grew up in a richer family than mine. She seems to be used to a higher life quality.…
> She also grew up in a richer family than mine. She seems to be used to a higher life quality. I feel some pressure about it. but I have never talked with her about it for the fear for disagreement, whereas I lean toward a Minimalism, less materialized life. Sounds like a recipe for resentment and disaster. You guys should hash this out and have a discussion before you move forward in your relationship. Differences…
> Differences in lifestyle and finances are the #1 reason for divorce.
I have to disagree. Even at the risk of being snarky, I believe that marriage is the #1 reason for divorce.[0]
Re: Ask HN: Do you think career and family is either-or?
#30My father saw his biggest entrepreneurial success as a father of four kids in junior high and high school. I believe his schedule looked roughly like this:
- 6am work at home
- 8am work at office
- 6pm dinner with family at home, or cheer at kids' athletic events
- 8pm work at home
- 11pm or 12am, sleep
- In early days, he slept on couch near computer to take customer support calls at night.
It wasn't until I was older that I realized how much my family was prioritized.
That said, my mom wanted to be a full time caregiver and did an amazing job of it, so his caregiving responsibilities were not nearly as extensive as my mother's.