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Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?

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Re: Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?

#23
Even if the harrased employee has no problem with it, it is clear you personally do and what will you do when you end up expanding or replacing existing members of the team and he continues his harrasment?

If nothing else, that guy is a liabillity (and a dick).

Re: Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?

#24
I really don't understand the environment around sex and relationships in the work place. It's messed up. Someone should be able to express interest and the other person should be able to refuse it. Simple as that. But instead there is a whole drawn out ritual around these things. It's not really grown up thing that adults do, instead any male is looked at as an aggressive offender looking to rape someone, unless the female is interested and the male is supposed to know how at this moment the female is feeling. And the female is apparently always fearing rape unless she is interested. I am sort of creating hyperbole, but it seems as if the undertone is like that. On the surface I guess it's that well I am uncomfortable with how the other person is acting, but that should be resolved with some training or something, as when someone is rude to someone else and they don't appreciate it. But so it goes.

Re: Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?

#25
post #8

I'm not familiar with US customs, so little confused here: is asking your co-worker out is considered a sexual harassment? Or is it the "milf" part?

It's generally uncouth to ask out a coworker, especially at a small company. Incredibly unprofessional to do it within the first few days of joining. The milf part is the icing on the cake.

Re: Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?

#26

This is why I'll never be in any significant management position. I have no interest in babysitting grown up children. My reaction would be to just fire both.

>My reaction would be to just fire both. What did the existing employee do to deserve such treatment?

At least he is owning up to not want to deal with adult babysitting, which is what this is.

Re: Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?

#27
post #24

I really don't understand the environment around sex and relationships in the work place. It's messed up. Someone should be able to express interest and the other person should be able to refuse it. Simple as that. But instead there is a whole drawn out ritual around these things. It's not really grown up thing that adults do, instead any male is looked at as an aggressive offender looking to rape someone, unless the…

I completely agree as far as expressing interest goes. Calling someone a MILF however is out of line (IMO).

Re: Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?

#28
post #8

I'm not familiar with US customs, so little confused here: is asking your co-worker out is considered a sexual harassment? Or is it the "milf" part?

There is no US customs to this kind of thing. Every where I've ever worked the rules and thoughts on it have varied. It's a huge minefield of problems that very few handle well. The general idea is don't be rude and/or crude to anyone. In some cases asking out a coworker is fine, in others it's a violation; could depend on how you ask them. The milf part is clearly a problem.

Re: Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?

#29
post #3

Lawyer lawyer lawyer LAWYER lawyer LAWYER . I think the consensus in the grown-up business world is "fire immediately for cause." I would bet substantial money that when you lawyer lawyer lawyer they will advise you to do that and document the heck out of it. The calculus is really, really simple: if you don't, then you will with probability approaching one get this incident or a similar incident cited during a threa…

I assume this is correct?

On the other hand, the message here is: You better never, ever try to date anyone at work. Even if you're not so clumsy as that guy. Sad.

Edit: OK, Milf is beyond "clumsy".

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