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Ask HN: How do you prevent the impact of social media on your children?

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Re: Ask HN: How do you prevent the impact of social media on your children?

#191

Post by Aeolun »

Carrok wrote: post #33

I was an outcast as a kid, and this was years before social media. I think I turned out alright regardless. Your social status as a pre-adult doesn't really matter at all once you join the real world. That and I think kids not having any social media will become more and more common, so it's not going to be that big a deal.

> Your social status as a pre-adult doesn't really matter at all once you join the real world.

The way you feel during that time does though. It decides who you are as an adult.

Re: Ask HN: How do you prevent the impact of social media on your children?

#192

Post by Aeolun »

AlexandrB wrote: post #119
sznio wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>Your social status as a pre-adult doesn't really matter at all once you join the real world. Trauma stays.

No it doesn't. I was nerdy and "low status" in school. I laugh at most of the silly stuff I did or was done to me in school. I don't get the mentality of holding onto all that stuff forever.

That’s good for you. I’m the same, but… we’re here puttering around HN aren’t we? The ones that are not can’t really weigh in to offer a contrary opinion.

Re: Ask HN: How do you prevent the impact of social media on your children?

#193

Post by ekianjo »

ozim wrote: post #62
scop wrote: post #29

Four thoughts: 1. I've developed a analog->digital path for my kids. Before they can get a music player, they get a CD player. Before they get video games, they get board games. And then, for video games, before they get Super Mario Odyssey they get the original Super Mario Bros. Each of these "first they get" is a long period. Years long. Give them something that has limitations so they can truly explore it. Find th…

Gorilla in the room are other f*ng parents. You can prevent as much as you want but then kids go to school nd everyone else has accounts they should not have or devices they should not have and your kids are angry at you because now you are the bad guy.

> Gorilla in the room are other f*ng parents

That's why some people prefer home schooling

Re: Ask HN: How do you prevent the impact of social media on your children?

#195

Post by ekianjo »

ikiris wrote: post #118
ericmcer wrote: post #86

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What there is 100% a precedent for prohibiting certain activities from minors because their brains are undeveloped. In the future we will view a child spending hours a day on Tiktok how we currently view a kid smoking cigarettes. It is creating an entire generation of anxious, ADHD addled kids who struggle with school and focused work of any kind.

[citation needed] for evidence that somehow TikTok is at all responsible for causing adhd

It may not cause ADHD but it is certainly not doing anything good to their brains

Re: Ask HN: How do you prevent the impact of social media on your children?

#196

Post by tokioyoyo »

AlexandrB wrote: post #124
tokioyoyo wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If all of your peers are talking about the stuff they saw on YouTube, but you’re not allowed to, this will naturally make you an outcast in that topic. Now, if almost everything they talk about in the internet, and you cannot relate to it at all, it will hinder your interpersonal skills, because you just don’t talk to your peers. I hate how we got here, but watching my nephews go through this stuff made me realize yo…

> If all of your peers are talking about the stuff they saw on YouTube, but you’re not allowed to, this will naturally make you an outcast in that topic. There were plenty of kids when I was in school who were not allowed to watch TV. Like at all . The real problem is that kids also socialize online now so you can't talk about "that time you hung out at McDonalds" because everyone was sitting at home on their phone i…

Yeah, I remember the kids who were not allowed to watch TV, although they missed out on some peer-discussions, at least there were other stuff that everyone was involved in. And the kids that were not allowed to do anything (no internet, no TV, no games, no running outside around), well, I genuinely don't know how, as a kid, I could find anything in common with them. I really hope they're doing well, but I wouldn't want to be them at that time.

I agree with your second point, the problem is there is one and only one avenue of doing things, and that's online (for most of the kids at least).

Re: Ask HN: How do you prevent the impact of social media on your children?

#197

Post by Aeolun »

jpm_sd wrote: post #168

I have 3 daughters. This is kinda working for us, with ongoing negotiation. - No phones before 8th grade - Phones start out locked down (talk/text only) - Enable select apps (e.g. Camera, Duolingo) with proven responsible behavior. - No social media apps or accounts - Youtube and similar are blocked at the router at home - Computer (Chromebook) use is supervised, mostly - No phones when you have a group of friends ov…

> No phones when you have a group of friends over.

How does this work with the whole, lets instead go to my friends place so my phone doesn’t get stolen?

Re: Ask HN: How do you prevent the impact of social media on your children?

#198

Post by elevatedastalt »

garrickvanburen wrote: post #137
elevatedastalt wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> one of your parents will be your 'friend' That doesn't do much since they will just keep the spicy posts hidden from the parent.

You're presuming a great deal here.

What am I presuming? Most social media platforms let you have post-level privacy settings.

If a kid wants to post something that they don't want their parents to see they can exclude them from seeing the post

Re: Ask HN: How do you prevent the impact of social media on your children?

#199

Post by tokioyoyo »

NoMoreNicksLeft wrote: post #63
tokioyoyo wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If all of your peers are talking about the stuff they saw on YouTube, but you’re not allowed to, this will naturally make you an outcast in that topic. Now, if almost everything they talk about in the internet, and you cannot relate to it at all, it will hinder your interpersonal skills, because you just don’t talk to your peers. I hate how we got here, but watching my nephews go through this stuff made me realize yo…

>I hate how we got here, but watching my nephews go through this stuff made me realize you can’t cut the kids off completely. Mine are turning out fine. I don't want them to be like those other children, and I've kept them away from those children. Doesn't seem to have been a problem. >Ideally, you would live in a community where all parents have agreed on the social media limits, This is a matter of who you choose t…

> Mine are turning out fine. I don't want them to be like those other children, and I've kept them away from those children. Doesn't seem to have been a problem.

To each their own. I personally grew up with the idea of "try to be around all different types of people as I will encounter people from different walks of life, just don't be an idiot". I think, it made me a better person and I pride myself in my ability of getting along with most people. One day, I would want the same for my kids, and hope at that point we would resolve the social media issues.

Re: Ask HN: How do you prevent the impact of social media on your children?

#200

Post by Aeolun »

M4v3R wrote: post #90
9rx wrote: post #61

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I are seeing parents give their two year olds a tablet which is absolutely detrimental to their development. My kid couldn't care less about using a tablet or other device if there is any other activity on the table. In other words, for them to reach the point of using, I have to be completely ignoring them. Is it really the device that leads to developmental detriment, or parents who aren't involved in their child…

Just because your child has been this way does not mean everyone’s is. I have a 3 year old and even though I have been very strict about screen time (tv or phone) - she watched her first cartoon just months before 2nd birthday - from the very beginning screens were hypnotizing for her. She would stop whatever she was doing once a screen was playing nearby. No amount of entertainment I would provide would make her loo…

For what it’s worth. Mine was like this at 3, but at 6 he’ll definitely take playing super saiyan over watching them on TV.
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