Weekly seems like a lot. I would recommend switching to once every two weeks.
Also, don’t use 1-1s for project statuses. These can be done async or via ad-hoc meetings.
Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?
191–200 of 287 posts
Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?
#192Earlier quoted context omitted.
Wait WHAT. Who is standing up then?! Just the workers? haha That is hilarious. If you never had the stand up again, do you think anything would change in your day-to-day?
It's common for standups to be attended only by workers. They're a forum for open lateral communication, not communication up the ladder. As soon as you add management into the mix, people get cagey and the standup becomes less effective.
>It's common for standups to be attended only by workers
I have never seen this in 20+ years of work.
Management is supposed to be in the standup to help remove blockers.
Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?
#193There are other good answers, but I want to emphasize that a 1:1 is where you most definitely should blow your own trumpet. You may have done something great or important and your boss may not have noticed. Make sure they do so that it (hopefully) comes up when it's time to consider your raise.
Also, though hopefully not often, that thing you think was so wonderful was not received that way. If that's the case, it's good to know soon so you can deal with the consequences (fix if needed, or at least learn that things like X aren't received well after all).
Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?
#194Earlier quoted context omitted.
The employee not thinking there's something to talk about doesn't mean there's nothing to talk about. A good people-person manager can get the employee to bring up things they otherwise wouldn't think of.
What does this have to do with my comment? I never said don’t talk to your employees ever. A recurring 1v1 where you have to poke and prod information out of a subordinate is not constructive. If you have concerns, bring them up when they happen. No need to pull teeth every few weeks just to make yourself feel better as a manager.
sometimes people have problems that they don’t know they are problems, in repeated conversations it just comes out
as manager you got to smell it out. 1-1s are great for that.
Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?
#195[deleted]
Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?
#196These have always been an enormous waste of time from my perspective. They only serve to make a manager feel like they know what everyone is doing, all the time. Anything process-wise should be handled through scrum. Anything personal can be handled with ad-hoc 1-on-1 meetings as needed, but should be pretty rare. 1-on-1s for process really do harm to transparency and accountability. If I had a nickel for every time…
I am reminded of:
> One story has it that when Seymour Cray was asked by management to provide detailed one-year and five-year plans for his next machine, he simply wrote, "Five-year goal: Build the biggest computer in the world. One year goal: One-fifth of the above." And another time, when expected to write a multi-page detailed status report for the company executives, Cray's two sentence report read: "Activity is progressing satisfactorily as outlined under the June plan. There have been no significant changes or deviations from the June plan."
Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?
#197Earlier quoted context omitted.
The employee not thinking there's something to talk about doesn't mean there's nothing to talk about. A good people-person manager can get the employee to bring up things they otherwise wouldn't think of.
What does this have to do with my comment? I never said don’t talk to your employees ever. A recurring 1v1 where you have to poke and prod information out of a subordinate is not constructive. If you have concerns, bring them up when they happen. No need to pull teeth every few weeks just to make yourself feel better as a manager.
The issue is that not everyone is comfortable bringing up issues as they happen. Some people may not recognize issues. Others may avoid mention until a problem grows larger. Regular 1-1s make this much easier to catch and give direct reports a great opportunity to share.
Some people will say that this isn't required with a good company culture, but when people are involved nothing is perfect. Maintaining positive culture requires work. Recurring 1-1s are the bread and butter of management and in my experience the work pays off by staying ahead of things and preventing minor issues from turning into major issues.
Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?
#198Earlier quoted context omitted.
The employee not thinking there's something to talk about doesn't mean there's nothing to talk about. A good people-person manager can get the employee to bring up things they otherwise wouldn't think of.
What does this have to do with my comment? I never said don’t talk to your employees ever. A recurring 1v1 where you have to poke and prod information out of a subordinate is not constructive. If you have concerns, bring them up when they happen. No need to pull teeth every few weeks just to make yourself feel better as a manager.
If you need to "poke and prod" your "subordinate", I don't know if you're someone I'd like to work with. The whole feel of your text gives me the vibe of an 80's cop show interrogation and you're the cop who's about to retire and doesn't care.
When I did 1:1's I had lunch (on the company's dime) with the team member. If they wanted to bring up something work related, that was their opportunity. I might bring up some general news about the team or company if I wanted their comments on it without a crowd around. Some asked for raises, brought up need for new training or interest in another kind of task within the company. With some we just chatted about video games and whatever for the duration.
The point is to accommodate people who are not comfortable contacting you directly about issues or feel that they can bring them up in a group. When you have a regular routine meeting with them that has no real set agenda, they know that in the next two weeks they'll have an opportunity to bring any issues to you in an informal setting.
Yes, the dream team is one that can just raise their hand and bring up any issue at any time, either in private or in public. But those teams need to be grown and the trust needs to be there. Nobody wants to be ridiculed for saying bringing something up in public.
Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?
#199In brief: 1. What worries you? Not some blatant project stuff but bigger deal issues. "How do I learn enough here to make a lot more money in a few years" or "I don't understand how our product is going to make money in this environment". Stuff like that is probably on your mind in some way (unless you are an unthinking dolt, but you wouldn't be asking this if you were) - get it out there and gain perspective. 2. Bli…
Never got a good answer to the “lot more” money question. The real answer is usually “not here, because we got you ha ha, unless you have a title bump”. Salary in increases are normal but a 50% bump seems to require changing jobs and probably country.
Just got 2.7% for my title bump. Hurray.
Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?
#200I'm currently a high level IC, and this is what we talk about: 1) Pleasantries about our kids/family/how our last vacation was/etc. for a minute. 2) Any questions I have for her, which usually mean questions about corporate policies or procedures, or questions like, "I need to know about project X, who would be a good contact", or things like, "I need to accomplish Y, usually I would do it like this, but how is that…
I guess it varies by person but talking about kids/family/friends is pretty much off-limits for me at work. Completely irrelevant and none of their business. Most other discussion I handle as "anything you say can be used against you." I have never worked in a place without office politics and have learned the hard way that you cannot trust superiors (or really anyone) no matter how genuine they seem. They will alway…
Just de-lurked to say: I agree with you completely.
As a veteran of several industry-winters, I have to expect some down-voters are in for a rude awakening over the next few years.