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Ask HN: Do you look angry while you work?

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191–200 of 203 posts

Re: Ask HN: Do you look angry while you work?

#191
My adult son is the most happy person I know but often makes angry faces. He also has night terrors. Nightmares he doesn't remember.

In ny gut I think there is a relationship between his happy nature and not knowing how to be angry. It's kind of like he doesn't have a middle ground of being angry.It's his happy face 90% of the time, then super angry face when annoyed. An angry face which is not really representative of who he is.

Re: Ask HN: Do you look angry while you work?

#192
I think it's easy to look angry when you're focusing at a desk, because you're looking down. Which sort of gives the impression of glowering. If you're giving some the stink eye, upright and facing them, you tilt your head forward (though maybe this is cultural? Not sure). When you're at your desk, other people are at a kinda similar angle.

I noticed this in high school once. I was reading at a table and someone across from me wanted my attention. I glanced up at them without moving my head, and they were like, "geez, sorry to bother you, we'll talk later." But I wasn't annoyed, I'd miscommunication with my body language.

Re: Ask HN: Do you look angry while you work?

#193

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My favorite part about this is that it captures pandiculation: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21665102/#:~:text=Pandiculat... . And makes me wonder whether a simple computer vision algorithm could classify frequency of pandiculation in the work and we could begin making correlations between pandiculation and perception of mood valence.

Cool, "pandiculation" was a new term for me! Had not thought about the purpose of yawning and stretching before. For others curious, this page gave a better ELI5 definition for me: https://somaticmovementcenter.com/pandiculation-what-is-pand...

I'll add a nitpick to this ELI5 that pandiculation also happens when you are going to sleep, so it's only a way to "wake up" our muscles in a metaphorical sense.

Re: Ask HN: Do you look angry while you work?

#194

I've gotten this feedback from those around me for years. Even before I was a coder, when I was an ESL teacher in China, I had multiple students approach me (those I had made friends with, they were all 20-somethings and over) and ask me if I was OK, because I looked angry. I appreciated their concern but I didn't feel angry, so I had no clue what they were talking about. It was only later that I learned about the co…

God forbid I told a female coworker to smile more. I think I would be getting a visit from HR if I did. Yet that is essentially what they are telling you to do…

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Re: Ask HN: Do you look angry while you work?

#195

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That tendency of other humans to jump to conclusions about a person's demeanor and personality based on facial expression is one of the most irritating characteristics of humans. No matter how many times we hear cliche's like "don't judge a book by its cover," people routinely (and confidently) do that all the time.

At the same time I think a lot of people walk around angry at the world and unaware of their problem. Or a lot of people are depressed and don't realize it. Or any number of issues. A lot of times it can be all over somebody's face and body language. Self awareness is hard. I used to take selfies to help neutrally assess my own mood. A lot of the time I was feeling something and unaware, but I could tell from the pho…

or too depressed to put on a mask for you

Re: Ask HN: Do you look angry while you work?

#196
Yep. I got the all the time. Co workers, spouse, etc.

Apparently if I’m very focused, in the zone, on a problem; I look totally pissed off.

If anything all my emotions are turned off when I’m like that.

I can’t count the number of times I’ve been highly disoriented after someone grabs my attention to find out what’s wrong.

Re: Ask HN: Do you look angry while you work?

#197

I've gotten this feedback from those around me for years. Even before I was a coder, when I was an ESL teacher in China, I had multiple students approach me (those I had made friends with, they were all 20-somethings and over) and ask me if I was OK, because I looked angry. I appreciated their concern but I didn't feel angry, so I had no clue what they were talking about. It was only later that I learned about the co…

God forbid I told a female coworker to smile more. I think I would be getting a visit from HR if I did. Yet that is essentially what they are telling you to do…

My daughters are in performing sports. Cheer, gymnastics, skating, etc. One is fantastic about having a huge smile while she does her routine.

The other goes the super focused borderline angry looking face when she focuses. We actually know she’s giving it her all when she’s giving that face.

If she’s goofing off and just having fun then she smiles.

Unfortunately judges don’t like it so much.

We’re going on 10 years of trying to get her to smile during a routine with no success.

She also can’t smile on command for photos. It’s quite cringe worthy.

Re: Ask HN: Do you look angry while you work?

#198

Not only when I work... I generally look mad; somewhat permanently furrowed brow, I suppose I've also been routinely mistaken for somebody with military service history. I guess something to do with how I glare Skeptical it's about how I dress, it hasn't significantly changed since I was a teenager. Purely focused on comfort. I can't be bothered to buy clothes! I've also been told I have a smile that lights up a room…

Yup, a furrowed brow is an occupational hazard.

Re: Ask HN: Do you look angry while you work?

#199

I've gotten this feedback from those around me for years. Even before I was a coder, when I was an ESL teacher in China, I had multiple students approach me (those I had made friends with, they were all 20-somethings and over) and ask me if I was OK, because I looked angry. I appreciated their concern but I didn't feel angry, so I had no clue what they were talking about. It was only later that I learned about the co…

Multiple researchers have shown that body language feeds back on how you feel.

So maybe you don't want to "fix" yourself for others, but you might consider it for yourself.

Re: Ask HN: Do you look angry while you work?

#200
post #188

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> This is a huge reason why I support WFH policies and personally take advantage of them. I dont know if i can even work in an office anymore without scaring people. I developed a habit of cursing or mumbling under my breath. haha

I would sometimes record myself developing at my last job. Both screen and camera. It was really enlightening to see both the faces that I made throughout the day, as well as how I could have gone about debugging issues faster. I've since improved the faces that I make, and I think it helps my mood. It's similar to the effect of how if you smile and nod while eating something gross you acquire the taste faster :)

I did that as well. Video taping myself in meetings, and while working. Or just keeping a Zoom meeting open with only myself in it.

It's very confronting at times!

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