> Just stick with "fiancee" without accents, and you can't go wrong.
Unfortunately you can... I've seen many uses in modern English where people assume it is the double e at the end that makes the final vowel pronouncable in French, with no mental model of what the acute accent is there for nor what the second e signifies, and hence described their male fiancé as a "fiancee". After all, fiancé (male) and fiancée (female) both sound the same in English, and if you spell "fiance" correctly but without the accent, it looks like it should be read as "fee-awnss".
In all though, I think this is a useful metaphor for the OP's question: as a working programmer, creating value for a business by building applications without having to understand what's going on inside the computer, he should be able to expect that his tool (editor/development environment) would not only autocorrect the spelling of fiancée for him, but in case of doubt perhaps pop up a wizard to politely enquire whether he was engaged to a man or a woman and adjust the output accordingly; meanwhile his betrothed is busy learning the rules of French grammar and orthography and asking him to help her understand how and why his tools work the way they do - something which he is, quite rightly, oblivious about.
Of course, if I found myself in the same position, and had the time to spare, I would try to work through the same course materials alongside her because my curiosity would see it as a fantastic opportunity to learn the CS principles that I never picked up in college; then when she or I got stuck on something, I could add the contextual experience I'd picked up from years of 'surface level' business programming to gain a different perspective on the course content and hopefully fill in what's missing. Just like, for example, if I had years of truck driving experience I may have a little more insight into engine maintenance than someone who doesn't, but it doesn't make me an expert in that area.
Failing that, I'd explain honestly that our two disciplines have nothing in common other than vaguely being "connected with computers", then try my best to help her out in the same way I would if she was learning law or history or chemistry - just keep asking questions about the parts she does understand, the precursors to the problem she is up against, then try to reason it out loud with her and more often than not, the act of explaining in words the prior steps will help her to crystallize some insight in her own head that will fill in the gaps.