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Ask HN: What inspires you to persevere through adversity?

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Re: Ask HN: What inspires you to persevere through adversity?

#191

Post by capitalsigma »

ridgeguy wrote: post #182
7402 wrote: post #116

A short collection of sayings by the stoic philosopher Epictetus called The Enchiridion. There's a free copy at http://classics.mit.edu/Epictetus/epicench.html Sample: "Remember that you are an actor in a drama, of such a kind as the author pleases to make it. If short, of a short one; if long, of a long one. If it is his pleasure you should act a poor man, a cripple, a governor, or a private person, see that you act…

A question from someone largely ignorant of Stoicism, generated by the last clause in your quote from The Enchiridion: How does a Stoic change his/her lot in life, given that Stoicism assigns choice of that lot to an externality? Or does that question lack meaning within Stoicism?

I don't believe that 'you' (the reader) are the intended 'author' of the play in that quote. It's not that you get to write your own role, it's that it's your job to play the role you were given, and someone else's job to give you that role.

Re: Ask HN: What inspires you to persevere through adversity?

#192

Post by capitalsigma »

ci5er wrote: post #66
weego wrote: post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I completely disagree that working above all else is the hallmark of great entrepreneurs.

I don't know many lazy successful people (there are a few, though!) Maybe not 'the', but 'a'? What do you think "the hallmark" is?

There's a difference between enjoying your job and not having any desires to do anything else. The former is normal and healthy, the latter is (imo) not a good strategy for working efficiently. I love my job but I don't think I'd be better at it if I poured 100+ hours/week into it. I'd probably just feel burnt out and unproductive.

Re: Ask HN: What inspires you to persevere through adversity?

#193

Post by moh_maya »

meheleventyone wrote: post #143
paublyrne wrote: post #135

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It was hard to get over not really wanting to run, but when I kind of internalized that it didn't matter whether I wanted to or not, I just got to doing stuff. This is a fantastic approach.

I really identify with this myself. One of my main learning points about myself is that fretting and prevaricating about work and life is usually worse than just getting on with it.

So true! (Edit: speaking for myself :) )Absolutely. Thank you for putting it so cogently!!

Re: Ask HN: What inspires you to persevere through adversity?

#194

Post by leighelse »

Some things that have worked for me:

1. A wise mentor once told me never to get all my satisfaction from one source. If I give everything to my job when it's going well, my job can take everything away when it turns bad. Keeping several balls in the air means that at any given time at least one of them is likely to be spinning well. For me at the moment it's developing software, making music and keeping fit. 2. Habits have saved me more than once in times of crisis. There are a lot of decisions I never need to make because they're already habitual. I don't find this makes life boring; rather, it frees me to focus on the important. 3. When things are tough, I buy some deferred gratification. This could be seats at a concert in three months time, a ticket in next week's lottery or arranging to meet friends for a coffee on the weekend. 4. When things get grim, I cut alcohol completely from my diet. A drink or two may seem a temporary escape from the pressures of the situation but, for me at least, alcohol is a poor ally in adversity. 5. Under extreme pressure I've observed that I usually start by looking for a way out of the situation, become depressed when I can't find one, and eventually discover the inner determination to master the problem. I remind myself of this pattern when I see trouble coming.

Re: Ask HN: What inspires you to persevere through adversity?

#195

Post by moh_maya »

mattfrommars wrote: post #133
vr46 wrote: post #100

My parents worked their nuts off to pay for my education and provide security for the family - my dear old late dad woke up at 4am EVERY SINGLE DAY of the year, except Christmas Day, to work for me, basically. There's no way I'm giving up on anything. I have a ridiculously easy life compared to them, and because of them. That's my main motivation, apart from my own young family. And I surround myself mostly with tale…

You hit home brother. It's 1 AM right where I am right now and at this moment of time, I'm sort of filled with regrets. I'm such a failure when I think about it. Never in my life was I able to leverage anything compared to the people I know who come from totally opposite background struggle. Like I am like you said, 'ridiculously easy life' 100% like this, why am I not doing what I want to do? Where is the struggle?…

Man, 25! That's when I just about actually started becoming an adult. You've not lost any time. And the fact that you are reflecting on your life now is a good start.

You have your entire adult life ahead of you. Take a little time to identify what you want to achieve over the next 2 years. Define realistic goals. Then, map out a step by step path to them. Get to work.

Take comfort in the fact that success is about a lot of little steps over time.. not one big step in an instant.

Its never too late. :)

Re: Ask HN: What inspires you to persevere through adversity?

#196

Post by jat850 »

cushychicken wrote: post #129
jat850 wrote: post #117

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not your fault, but your comment made me subtly sad that I haven't repaid the same sacrifice and commitment from my family with as much as they deserved. They too worked very hard to provide and give a good life for me, and through naivety, youth, inexperience, laziness - I pissed a large portion of it away. I try to do better now, but I think I'll always carry some personal guilt over that. I can't fix the past, but…

It's a debt that's generally paid forward, not back. You still have a shot.

You're right, of course. And that's what I will try to do with current and future opportunities and choices. I appreciate the perspective and encouragement.

Re: Ask HN: What inspires you to persevere through adversity?

#197

Post by jat850 »

ridgeguy wrote: post #185
jat850 wrote: post #117

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not your fault, but your comment made me subtly sad that I haven't repaid the same sacrifice and commitment from my family with as much as they deserved. They too worked very hard to provide and give a good life for me, and through naivety, youth, inexperience, laziness - I pissed a large portion of it away. I try to do better now, but I think I'll always carry some personal guilt over that. I can't fix the past, but…

Most parents know this about their children, that their sacrifices may go unappreciated in full until their kids pass some ill-defined maturity/life milestones. They did it for you anyway, and doubtless on the whole, gladly. As another poster noted, you can pay it forward. That's likely what your parents did.

I suspect you're right. I realize that I'm very lucky to have parents as good as I do, and just hope I can do as much for others in my future as they did for me. Including them, if and when they ever need it.

Re: Ask HN: What inspires you to persevere through adversity?

#198

Post by jat850 »

vr46 wrote: post #150
jat850 wrote: post #117

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not your fault, but your comment made me subtly sad that I haven't repaid the same sacrifice and commitment from my family with as much as they deserved. They too worked very hard to provide and give a good life for me, and through naivety, youth, inexperience, laziness - I pissed a large portion of it away. I try to do better now, but I think I'll always carry some personal guilt over that. I can't fix the past, but…

Thanks for the sentiment - much appreciated. I feel like I've pissed away decades through all the things you describe, but in reality, they're just paths or routes to where you, me, we are now. The other poster pointed out quite rightly that this is a debt paid forward - so just figure it out from here, right?

That's a good point of view to take. If I hadn't made some of mistakes, I also may not have learned some valuable lessons - about myself and others.

Re: Ask HN: What inspires you to persevere through adversity?

#199

Post by ianai »

atroyn wrote: post #48

I realized a while ago that inspiration isn't very helpful for getting you through adversity. Inspiration gets you going, but grit and discipline ultimately help you push through. I'm going to go against the grain of most of what's being said in this thread and say that the best way to get through adversity is to discard a goal-based mentality entirely, in favor of a system-based mentality. Figure out the stuff you h…

I agree. Goals are too laden in the rejection/acceptance/guilt mindset. Better to have a system that works.

Re: Ask HN: What inspires you to persevere through adversity?

#200

Post by xapata »

jaflo wrote: post #122
xapata wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'll echo the same. I decided some time ago that I disliked some aspects of my personality, especially shyness and sadness. I made a choice to systematically practice the habits of someone who was outgoing and happy. Now I am, mostly. Sometimes I still need to remind myself that change is possible.

Could you share some of the choices you made?

Sure. I made talking to strangers like a game -- see how long you can get someone to talk. It's easiest to get started by joining a group which looks like it's having fun and talking in a large, but loose circle. It's nerve-wracking initially, so remind yourself that you'll probably never see these people again. After a while, I built a repertoire of things to say and I enjoy when I see people enjoying my stories. It's like being a stand-up comic. Practice practice practice. Eventually you'll be able to improvise.

About being happy, to me it's a matter of considering what plausible futures might be. I get stressed a lot about little things. To relax I think past the immediate imagined disaster and what its consequences might be. Usually the consequences aren't that bad. You can always make more money and you can always meet new people. Health/safety is the only thing that's not worth risking.

A psychiatrist prescribed Zoloft to me a while back, but I found diet, exercise, and meditation (in the sense I described above, not traditional counting breaths, etc.) to be more effective.

I dislike modern psychology's labels as if there's some threshold that separates normal people from abnormal. We're all on a spectrum of various personality characteristics, with no boundaries on that spectrum.

The funny thing is, my wife now says I'm one of the least stressed people she knows. It makes me think of when the Hulk says, "the secret is I'm always angry." I appear relaxed because I'm always stressed and keeping a lid on it.

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