Ask HN: Former gifted children with hard lives, how did you turn out?

ACE 1, I think. I don't have many fond memories of childhood. Although my parents weren't monsters, I went to school in an area where high ACE schools would have been common, and being somewhat of a nerd was the odd one out, I struggled socially for my first few decades. There was no Internet in those days to find like-minded weirdos.

I once had my nationality "leak" just by the specific addition I chose when ordering a specific hamburger-like dish at a food-stall. Something akin to choosing to put mustard on a hot-dog kind of situation. The person looked at me, knew, got confused as I had a perfectly neutral and non-native accent, and then just had to ask to confirm their suspicion.

ACE 6. I did good career wise, failure was just not an option to me so I worked hard. At school I was put into accelerated classes for gifted kids. But I feel like I could have done a lot better with more support at home. I see that people get points for diversity etc. in college or hiring, but there is no such support for people who suffer silently, and even if there was I have too much pride to let others know just for some brownie points. Life was particularly hard before I found employment, roughly from the age of 18 to 26. That was also the period when my mental health challenges were more difficult and I had not yet learned how to cope. I have not yet gotten any ‘treatment’ for mental health issues. I got some money after making some fortunate investment decisions that allowed me to climb out of poverty, it might be trivial sum for most people out there but it was a lot to me. Lately I get feelings of being an orphan, just out there on my own and not having my own people to share things with or support in life.

My wife is startled sometimes when I react as I do, she doesn’t understand where it comes from. I have forgetfulness and emotional regulation issues. But she is a nice person and helps me out.

I worry about money and the future all the time.

I would like to thank my mom and God for everything, and Jensen Huang. Will delete this later.

Sorry for poor punctuation and english.

I long ago gave up any faith in the "ADHD"/"Autism" religion, which has all the mechanics of a cult, and just decided to live my life without the labels given to our society by Nazi scientists.

It has been a huge relief, and frankly a major deal-breaker with regards to escaping the destructive feedback-loop of self-evaluation/comparison with others. The for-profit "ADHD"/"Autism" industry does not have the individuals' best interests at heart - it does, instead, wish to perpetuate its own culture - which fundamentally boils down to classism and authoritarianism, wrapped in a velvet glove of narcissistic self-loathing.

If this offends you, you're probably in that cult. Just think about it a bit more - in what way does it help you, personally, to evaluate another person and label them with these conditions - does it help you position your own life in such a way that you have a 'relevant' context, or does it fix a handle to that person with which you can further manipulate them? Just stop. Take a deep breath. Nobody in the world is helped by these labels.

>Currently, I look accomplished to people, but I don’t feel accomplished.

See, this is what I'm talking about. To which people do you 'look accomplished'? This kind of navel-gazing is self-destructive.

A cure for this behaviour is to take a long journey to another culture, step outside the total authority of the culture that makes you think this way, and re-evaluate the fundamental mechanics of your life. Your autism or ADHD can be cured with one week in a village, away from the machine, learning to catch and cook your own food, find your own shelter, dig your own latrine. It doesn't matter what 'mental illness' you think you have in comparison to others in your society - everyone needs to eat, sleep and shit - and that feeling of safety you feel you lack is going to be strengthened once you live in a jungle for a while.

In the jungle, "ADHD"/"Autism" are only as relevant as they provide you with food, water, shelter, sleep. Go live in it for a while, even if its just a vacation, and you'll feel much, much better about things. I promise.

(Note: fully expecting to be downvoted into oblivion for this, but it doesn't matter. I've got my next trip to the jungle scheduled already. The only thing I care about is that someone, somewhere out there, also has that jungle trip in their mind, on the horizon. I'm sure some of you will see this before the text fades into the collective, reactive oblivion...)