I don’t talk to him anymore. That’s sad.
Ask HN: Those who've joined a friend's startup as an employee, how did that go?
181–190 of 300 posts
Re: Ask HN: Those who've joined a friend's startup as an employee, how did that go?
#182I don’t talk to him anymore. That’s really sad
Re: Ask HN: Those who've joined a friend's startup as an employee, how did that go?
#183It definitely ruined a friendship of mine. His startup was making insane amounts of money. He offered me a position, then his business priorities changed and forced me into a poor role with no long term prospects. I struggled in that new role and he noticed that. He then terminated our agreement two months early. There are reasons he's right about what he did and there are reasons I'm right about being upset about it…
> As it was it left me scrambling with three small kids. you did not mention whether this early termination was communicated beforehand. nevertheless this person probably never was your friend. sry
When we started working together I suggested a six month trial, and he said let's do 12 months. That role was perfect and I had the skills for it. 6 months in his business priorities changed, so he pushed me into a new role. Then, at the ten month mark said "I just don't have any more work for you."
It all depends on what is a friend. Your statement makes me question what makes a good friend. I don't really know right now. It is a lot harder to make them at 50, of that I'm sure.
Re: Ask HN: Those who've joined a friend's startup as an employee, how did that go?
#184Earlier quoted context omitted.
Yeah any startup that pitched me with equity always note that it can only be liquidated during vesting or whatever it is. Though in paper it sounded fair, in my opinion it gives the decision power to CEO too much that I always decline it. And also the equity that they give is based on some valuation that's not even real, it's hard to hold that value of.
I've seen an instance where someone would have to be 3 years at company to be able to cash their shares. He took it as an exchange for lower salary to help company grow. The owners closer to 2 year mark would make his life at company a hell, just so he would quit. He couldn't bear to work there anymore so he left and lost the shares.
3 years is or at least was absolutely standard. I did notice an uptick in 4 year vests, but not enough evidence to call it a trend.
Re: Ask HN: Those who've joined a friend's startup as an employee, how did that go?
#185One of my favorite quotes is attributed to Saint Augustine: "If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend; on the other hand, if two strangers come with the same request, accept, because you will gain one friend." It sort of applies, here, as well.
If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, and you don't accept... You might loose two friends since both of them think they are right and will not understand you do not support them.
Then they aren't my friends. If a "friendship" is that delicate, I'm better off, without.
I have extremely close friends, with whom I have deep, fundamental, disagreements.
I have absolutely no problem, telling people that they are dreaming, if they think they can extort me into taking their side.
"Support" can mean that I won't participate in destructive behavior. I often can't stop others from doing it, but I can make sure I don't get dragged into the cesspool, and be ready with towels and a power washer, when they get out.
Re: Ask HN: Those who've joined a friend's startup as an employee, how did that go?
#186Re: Ask HN: Those who've joined a friend's startup as an employee, how did that go?
#187Earlier quoted context omitted.
> nevertheless this person probably never was your friend. sry No, it's completely common for friendships to break down over business. Very few friendships are robust enough to survive one party costing the other $20,000.
It's wild that you said that amount because that was exactly the number. I have other friendships that have been tested for similar amounts that have survived. But, it leaves a mark. I had an ex-employee who worked for me under starvation wages in a startup long ago. He was upset about that and some tax implications, and brought it up with me. I gave him a smallish lump sum and enabled him to put a down payment on a…
Wow. $20k seems like a paltry sum to end a friendship over.
Re: Ask HN: Those who've joined a friend's startup as an employee, how did that go?
#188Earlier quoted context omitted.
If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, and you don't accept... You might loose two friends since both of them think they are right and will not understand you do not support them.
Then they aren't my friends. If a "friendship" is that delicate, I'm better off, without. I have extremely close friends, with whom I have deep, fundamental, disagreements. I have absolutely no problem, telling people that they are dreaming, if they think they can extort me into taking their side. "Support" can mean that I won't participate in destructive behavior. I often can't stop others from doing it, but I can m…
This same exact argument could be applied to the first saying as well.
Re: Ask HN: Those who've joined a friend's startup as an employee, how did that go?
#189Earlier quoted context omitted.
Then they aren't my friends. If a "friendship" is that delicate, I'm better off, without. I have extremely close friends, with whom I have deep, fundamental, disagreements. I have absolutely no problem, telling people that they are dreaming, if they think they can extort me into taking their side. "Support" can mean that I won't participate in destructive behavior. I often can't stop others from doing it, but I can m…
This same exact argument could be applied to the first saying as well.
That is correct. It's just a quote. Real life tends to have more subtlety.
Re: Ask HN: Those who've joined a friend's startup as an employee, how did that go?
#190One of my favorite quotes is attributed to Saint Augustine: "If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend; on the other hand, if two strangers come with the same request, accept, because you will gain one friend." It sort of applies, here, as well.
If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, and you don't accept... You might loose two friends since both of them think they are right and will not understand you do not support them.
If they are that sensitive, I can also be sensitive and ask them why they've involved me in a conundrum where I stand to gain nothing.