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Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

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Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#181

Post by theGnuMe »

mercacona wrote: post #52
shp0ngle wrote: post #37

I don’t know if I will. I was a computer addicted kid since I was about 8, when parents bought me a computer in 1995. When faster internet came, in the late 1990s and early 2000s, I was on the internet nonstop. And later on social media - LiveJournal, Blogger, Flickr, YouTube, but also some local servers that people here won’t know. I don’t think it hurt me that much? Now I am a developer and making more money than m…

You can’t compare writing blogs or early YouTube to current trends: short videos, addictive productions, irrelevant contents, etc. My son has a friend who can watch YouTube and Tiktok for hours without supervision. When he comes home I freak out: he gets bored watching a movie, music videoclips are too long, and if you try to read a short story at bedtime he doesn’t even listen to you. It’s not about using computers…

How is your own attention span? I've watched old cartoon movies from the 80s and find them dull and boring but I remember them being my favorite at the time.

I also have this other observation. If you really get into classical music, jazz and to some extent blues/bluegrass... modern pop songs just sound like crap and boring.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#182

Post by yumraj »

api wrote: post #113
yumraj wrote: post #85

One of the best things you can do is implement a strict no FB, Instagram, tiktok, snapchat .. future social media policy. Secondly, stop using those services yourself and take every opportunity to tell them how much crap they are and how they should not be used. They will listen to you since you yourself are not using them. If you use them and tell them not to, of course it's not going to work. Once social media is o…

You forgot YouTube. Its addictiveness to children is terrifying. But yeah, I agree. A pi-hole is essential.

I fully agree, but You Tube is a weird one for two reasons:

1) for some of reason, blocking YT is not working on network. I need to figure it out. This problem could be limited to me.

2) YT is used by various educational sites to just w videos. So, if I block YT, they stop working. Note: I’m not referring to visiting YouTube.com directly, but embedded videos in other sites. So, this makes it hard to block YT.

What I have done instead is not installed the YouTube app on the TV and settop box. This has somewhat controlled YT use, but not fully unfortunately.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#183

Post by bamboozled »

sowbug wrote: post #98

Parent of three ranging from tween to college age. We have never had limits on anything. Screen time/content unrestricted. Probably dozens of times, maybe hundreds, we have had "the talk" about how there's a lot of weird shit in the world, internet included, and it's better to know about that stuff and how to deal with it than to create a temporary secure enclave at home where it doesn't exist. We especially didn't w…

Hm, not sure about this, while I understand what you're saying, aren't you giving your kids the equivalent of mental heroin when giving them unfettered access to Youtube?

I mean you can say what you want about it to them, I'm still not sure I'd give my kids unlimited access to junk and hope they're cool to just be ok with it?

I had zero restrictions on my internet acess growing up, I was also told about excesses and I still blow way too much time on HN, YouTube and Instagram, so I'm not sure it really works to just have the talk?

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#184

Post by nmfisher »

shp0ngle wrote: post #37

I don’t know if I will. I was a computer addicted kid since I was about 8, when parents bought me a computer in 1995. When faster internet came, in the late 1990s and early 2000s, I was on the internet nonstop. And later on social media - LiveJournal, Blogger, Flickr, YouTube, but also some local servers that people here won’t know. I don’t think it hurt me that much? Now I am a developer and making more money than m…

We are roughly the same age, and I firmly believe the internet we grew up with is not the internet we have today. I don’t think you can use our childhood as a reference point for how to raise kids nowadays.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#185

Post by bamboozled »

kapildev wrote: post #127
sowbug wrote: post #98

Parent of three ranging from tween to college age. We have never had limits on anything. Screen time/content unrestricted. Probably dozens of times, maybe hundreds, we have had "the talk" about how there's a lot of weird shit in the world, internet included, and it's better to know about that stuff and how to deal with it than to create a temporary secure enclave at home where it doesn't exist. We especially didn't w…

I am an adult and while I was a child, our father turned off TV and cable access. He connected internet for a while but later disconnected that down as well. Needless to say, now I am older, it's very hard for me to moderate my film-viewing and internet-using habits. And I have always been wondering, was it because I wasnt allowed to moderate myself when I was little that I cant rid myself addiction? Nowadays, the on…

Had unlimited access to TV and Internet, pretty addicted still too.

I think it's better if we just admit that these systems are built to be addictive instead of pretending we can just "zen" ourselves away from it.

Realistically, like a lot of addictive things, it would be better off if I nevers started.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#186

Post by nmfisher »

poutine wrote: post #24

My 6.5yo has just gotten access to an iPad to do some learn to read training through a specific app. No other apps permitted. Before this there was no access at all to iPads or computers and very limited TV time. We'll continue to slowly introduce tech with heavy guidance and restriction as she ages, but she'll be a lot less online than her peers seem to be. I don't really see this as a detriment.

Out of curiosity, which app?

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#187

Post by bamboozled »

agentwiggles wrote: post #23
bcrosby95 wrote: post #15

For our kids the big problem was youtube. Give them a game on their tablet and they are quickly collaborating on it. Give them a show and they will go see what the other person is watching. After not too long (an hour or two) they are completely done and doing something else. But youtube is different. They can sit alone, in a corner, slack jawed, for 8 hours per day, only watching youtube, as they respond to all ques…

Youtube has been essentially banned in my house after seeing the effect it had on my kids. The problem, in short, was that Youtube continuously feeds them new content. Sadly - especially given the huge amount of actually great content on Youtube - everything that it wants to show my kids is absolutely dogshit garbage. A bunch of Gen Z kids with obviously wealthy families just acting like idiots. I couldn't stand it a…

The problem, in short, was that Youtube continuously feeds them new content.

This is a problem for me too (an adult), I'm getting stronger at turning it off, but it's poison.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#188

Post by ChuckMcM »

When I was raising my kids the addiction was "TV". I think there are parallels but you need to decide.

One of the things kids seem to be is really really curious. I know for some this is obvious but in my kids and other kids in their cohort lots of questions lots of "why?" It is possible this is related to the idea of novelty being the thing that triggers the pleasure center and "addicts" you or it could be something else entirely. My wife and I had a goal to make sure that TV wasn't habitual.

For us, the thing was the kids needed something to do when we weren't doing something as a family or other activities. A lot of our peers would let them watch TV, we bought a lot of books (and taught them at an early age how to use the library which was, quite fortunately, within biking distance of our house).

I didn't think too much about the difference but it really stood out at a birthday party my daughter attended. The "parent in charge" of the birthday needed to set things up and switched on the TV. Nearly all of the kids gravitate to the TV and sat quietly watching it. My daughter wandered over to the bookshelf and saw a book, pulled off the shelf and started reading it. The difference was distinct enough for the parent to make a point to tell me this series of events when I picked up my kid. They were surprised that a kid would rather "read" than "watch TV".

I don't know if the right word was "rather" though, I just know that my kids had learned that an easy way to entertain yourself when there was nothing else to do was to read. I felt strongly that reading was "habit" rather than "preference."

I can't verify that of course, and later when World of Warcraft came out we all spent a lot of time playing it, but by that time not having access to external content wasn't a huge problem for the kids.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#189

Post by bamboozled »

nmfisher wrote: post #184
shp0ngle wrote: post #37

I don’t know if I will. I was a computer addicted kid since I was about 8, when parents bought me a computer in 1995. When faster internet came, in the late 1990s and early 2000s, I was on the internet nonstop. And later on social media - LiveJournal, Blogger, Flickr, YouTube, but also some local servers that people here won’t know. I don’t think it hurt me that much? Now I am a developer and making more money than m…

We are roughly the same age, and I firmly believe the internet we grew up with is not the internet we have today. I don’t think you can use our childhood as a reference point for how to raise kids nowadays.

Strongly agree, the internet I grew up with taught me how to code, run my own networks, how to build websites and provision servers without being a constant distraction. That's the internet that gave me my career.

Also I was able to books without poisonous addictive social media apps and YouTube distracting me at every instance. I doubt I've really learned much or anything from social media. In fact I'd say it's highly one sided relationship where I'm the loser.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#190

Post by ly3xqhl8g9 »

bamboozled wrote: post #183
sowbug wrote: post #98

Parent of three ranging from tween to college age. We have never had limits on anything. Screen time/content unrestricted. Probably dozens of times, maybe hundreds, we have had "the talk" about how there's a lot of weird shit in the world, internet included, and it's better to know about that stuff and how to deal with it than to create a temporary secure enclave at home where it doesn't exist. We especially didn't w…

Hm, not sure about this, while I understand what you're saying, aren't you giving your kids the equivalent of mental heroin when giving them unfettered access to Youtube? I mean you can say what you want about it to them, I'm still not sure I'd give my kids unlimited access to junk and hope they're cool to just be ok with it? I had zero restrictions on my internet acess growing up, I was also told about excesses and…

Given the extreme mimetic learning in children, it is probably important if the child sees you stopping a process they guess/know you are enjoying. The confusion which leads from questioning the reinforcement can be a source of wisdom. If the child sees you, the parent, put down the device after a few minutes, not gorging on food, sleep, and so on, having self moderation, they are more probably to also develop it.

The question then becomes how do you develop self moderation, which has been a question for at least the last 2,400 years with the socratic "how to achieve a good life" (by having an inner life) and the various "religions of the book" which are a proxy to this question, sprinkling in with a forklift supernatural beliefs (the good life is the one devoted to the God superclass, which has private, unknown methods to solve the confusion of reinforcement).

Coming to think of it, it is probably important if the child does not see you as a God superclass: they will try to rely on themselves (although it is a hard game to balance, not to be too traumatic), and they will be less inclined to rebel against you, achieving both their own personhood, but also being set up to follow your example.

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