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Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

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Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#181

Post by j45 »

julianlam wrote: post #77
earino wrote: post #6

My very concrete feelings on this is that you probably don't. Asking folks how to do this is a bit like asking billionaires how to get rich. It's a fun story but it's overfitting. The individual narrative that made a billionaire is unlikely to be available for you. If you ask some millionaires they may be more likely to give you some useful advice around sound investment strategies, living within your means, and iden…

Agreed 100%. When people ask me what the best time is to work on a startup, it's always when you have no dependents, living with parents, and perhaps no significant other. It's quite amazing just how much you can skim down your expenses at that point in life. Minimizing expenses, maximizing runway. The rest is luck. Just blind luck.

Lots of indie hackers defeat blind luck and exit as much as the small percentage founders receive in a funded startup.

Lots of good reading out there

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#182

Post by austenallred »

Pretty simple: Start doing it on the side until you have product market fit and/or some cash coming in.

You don't need to pay yourself to work yet, just find more hours. Wakeup at 5 AM and do it before work.

You'll want her to be on board.

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#183

Post by datalopers »

cjohnson318 wrote: post #166
julianlam wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Agreed 100%. When people ask me what the best time is to work on a startup, it's always when you have no dependents, living with parents, and perhaps no significant other. It's quite amazing just how much you can skim down your expenses at that point in life. Minimizing expenses, maximizing runway. The rest is luck. Just blind luck.

Alternatively, maybe your dad owns an emerald mine? Always an option!

No post body was provided.

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#184

Post by babelfish »

erex78 wrote: post #55

I'm the founder of a venture-backed company in my 30s with two young kids under five. My co-founder is also in the same boat. A few points: 1. My wife works in a well paying field (nothing crazy, but comfortable), and we were financially stable enough to be able to live without my salary for a couple years. 2. We were very customer focused from day one, even before we incorporated. We signed up several customers (usi…

> 2. We were very customer focused from day one, even before we incorporated. We signed up several customers (using LOIs) with just a deck, before we wrote any software.

How did you find these customers? Existing network or fanatical prospecting? Did you, your co-founder, or both close the deal?

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#185

Post by n4r9 »

lazide wrote: post #159
n4r9 wrote: post #126

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A lot of people do! The average age of a successful startup founder in 2020 was 45: https://economica.org.uk/research-the-average-age-of-a-succe...

Successful != typical, or even average in this context when referring to folks that start. If you’re looking at starting, it’s helpful, but it’s important to not delude ourselves either. Having more life experience helps, but when the funnel has a > 90% overall attrition rate, it’s still far from a sure bet. Part of the reason why the older folks tend to do better IMO, is it’s more likely at that age that they know t…

Possibly some but not that much. The linked research states that the age is still up at 42 when you remove "successful", and still 40 if you then add "software".

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#187

Post by honkycat »

You don't.

Why do you want to do a start-up? To join the cool kids club and be a hu$tle-grind founder?

If you don't have the energy to start it as a side hustle and get the basics down why do you think you will hack it as a full-time founder?

You avoided saying why exactly you want to found a start up. In general you seen ignorant about what it actually takes to do a start up.

You have a family and responsibility. Don't you feel like your first priority should be providing them with security and prosperity?

My advice: get a hobby and don't fuck up your families life because you are bored.

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#188

Post by Biologist123 »

vyrotek wrote: post #146

I'm married, 38 and have 3 kids. I've done a few startups. I wish the long hours and cut in pay were the only risks. I can control my costs of living but the biggest pain/risk I can't control is the lack of healthcare benefits. I'd love to know how folks deal with this. We've used various health co-ops. Still not great. I feel like it's one of the biggest factors holding people back from starting a business.

Entrepreneur or investment visa to Europe I wonder?

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#189

Post by knicholes »

julianlam wrote: post #77
earino wrote: post #6

My very concrete feelings on this is that you probably don't. Asking folks how to do this is a bit like asking billionaires how to get rich. It's a fun story but it's overfitting. The individual narrative that made a billionaire is unlikely to be available for you. If you ask some millionaires they may be more likely to give you some useful advice around sound investment strategies, living within your means, and iden…

Agreed 100%. When people ask me what the best time is to work on a startup, it's always when you have no dependents, living with parents, and perhaps no significant other. It's quite amazing just how much you can skim down your expenses at that point in life. Minimizing expenses, maximizing runway. The rest is luck. Just blind luck.

I would say it's not JUST luck. You're not going to sell a startup if you haven't created one. So there's requisite work that is then followed by luck.

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#190

Post by alfl »

The typical response (for example, I've seen Patio11 say this) is: don't make your life harder than necessary by including big life changes in your startup journey. Running a company is hard, do it the easy way.

That said, I did this with the love and support of my wife -- she wanted (and wants) to help me Live The Dream (tm). We got married, bought property, and had a kid while she worked full time and I started my company.

Even with her support it's been brutally difficult. My entire life runs on hard mode.

I recommend thinking less about maintaining a standard of living and more about acceptable tradeoffs.

A perfectly acceptable tradeoff to most people is to NOT start a company. If closing that door causes you grief, my condolences -- you'll have to do it the hard way too.

And: side hustles are, IMO, procrastination traps. They're a linear attempt to solve an exponential problem. Work will feel like progress but actual traction is hard, family life will always be a pleasant distraction, and investors will rarely take you seriously (it's literally the first question most investors ask newbies).

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