I was in this boat in college in the 1970s and I joined various sport teams/activities with mixed success - all of the few friends I made were other guys I met on the all male golf team. The sailing club was the best mixed gender club organized a bit like speed dating with random mostly opposite gender people assigned to crew each boat each week and a week long camping trip that should have been relationship gold but never worked out for me. Long after college I learned to force myself to talk to people I met casually and gradually became less isolated. Then I got married to an extrovert I met in a bar and the need for friends of my own was greatly reduced.
Ask HN: I'm making like 0 friends at college, how to fix it?
181–190 of 218 posts
Re: Ask HN: I'm making like 0 friends at college, how to fix it?
#182Do you live on campus?
Re: Ask HN: I'm making like 0 friends at college, how to fix it?
#183My kids did well being the "go to person" for something other students need. Pdfs of specific textbooks that are hard to find. The "narrowed down" list of realistic choices for various scholarships, or internships for a specific major, or list of cheapest foreign study programs. Running a slack group (or similar) list of cheapskate opportunities (free food, etc).
Re: Ask HN: I'm making like 0 friends at college, how to fix it?
#184Volunteer.
Re: Ask HN: I'm making like 0 friends at college, how to fix it?
#185Join a fraternity
Re: Ask HN: I'm making like 0 friends at college, how to fix it?
#186Earlier quoted context omitted.
I would expand on number 5: maximize your looks, do bodybuilding or calisthenics (be able to do at least 10 pull ups and 30 push ups). Make sure that your clothes fit. People are drawn to better looking people subconciously in real life. Also I’m more confident in talking to other people when I’m in a good shape.
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Chill with the chadphobia, chode.
Re: Ask HN: I'm making like 0 friends at college, how to fix it?
#187Drink alcohol.
Re: Ask HN: I'm making like 0 friends at college, how to fix it?
#188Take up Argentine tango.
Re: Ask HN: I'm making like 0 friends at college, how to fix it?
#1891. Join a bunch of clubs that interest you. Go consistently. Join clubs that you might enjoy but improve your social skills (acting, improv, debate, etc). Don't just hang out with the same people all the time. 2. Treat being social as a skill. Schedule time that you go out and force yourself to speak to people you don't know. Learn to care less about what others think of you, and learn to accept rejection. 3. Learn t…
> 4. Keep track of everyone you speak to. Everyone. Write down what they mentioned they liked, who their family is, what matters to them. Make sure to put that list on a wall somewhere in your room so visitors can see how much you care. It will be a nice conversation starter and not at all alarming.
Also get some thumbtacks and red string and use it to create a real world relationship mapping between each person.
Re: Ask HN: I'm making like 0 friends at college, how to fix it?
#190I was a cs student in your boat as well, I hated anime and vidya so I didn't get along terribly well with the nerdier kids who were into that from the department. I was lucky that I was social in other ways and met people from different majors and hung out with them outside of class, as well as meeting people through my roommates and going out with them.