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Ask HN: How do I overcome mental laziness?

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Re: Ask HN: How do I overcome mental laziness?

#181

Post by throwaway392938 »

I'm using a throwaway account for this because I don't want to be this candid with any account that can be traced back to me.

After reading some of the response mentioning ADHD and the issues people have, I wanted to talk about my issues and see if it resonates with anyone else and if others relates to it. It's not something I ever really discussed with anyone and I do think it would be good for me to hear from others.

I have a mental barrier to doing certain tasks. For example anything related to paperwork or bureaucracy, I want to do those tasks, I know I must do them but whenever I start thinking of them I have a kind of barrier that stops me. It's extremely difficult to overcome that barrier. While I dearly wish those tasks were done, when it comes to starting, I cannot muster any of the motivation...

If I read a novel, I will either finish the novel within a few hours (or series of novels within a few days) and forget to eat or do anything else or, if I stop, I usually never come back to finish it.

It doesn't affect my work much because for work I do meet deadlines and I work from home but I'm still able to find the energy to do things. I do have one issue in that if I know exactly how to do a task, then the only for me to really complete it in time is for me to do it while watching tv or something that distracts my brain a bit. Otherwise, I quickly fall into looking at websites, spending time on hacker news or reading about anything new that piqued my interest.

I've never thought about seeing a therapist until now, but recently my girlfriend broke up with me mostly because of this and I still have a very hard time pushing myself to do what needs to be done (I really want to do it but whenever I start, I just hit a wall, it's like there's something pushing me to ignore it and do anything else... I sometimes even end up not wanting to do anything else but still can't muster the energy to start on those tasks)...

Apologies for the rambling...

Re: Ask HN: How do I overcome mental laziness?

#182

Post by kharak »

eru wrote: post #133
kharak wrote: post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have trouble focusing on work most of the time and lack the motivation for almost everything, unless not doing it would cause problems. But everything I've read about ADHD doesn't sound like a me at all. Never heard of your way of describing it though.

There are different ways for ADHD to manifest. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/attention-deficit-hyperactivit... has a list of symptoms in adults. > But everything I've read about ADHD doesn't sound like a me at all. If the symptoms listed there don't match, you probably don't have a ADHD, I guess.

Went through the list. I'd say at least 50% matches me completely, but some items are situational or are not even close.

- Keeping still? As a kid, I had always a problem keeping my leg still.

- Excessive talking? Nope, I was the quite kid. Also never interrupted anyone and still don't.

- Acting without thinking? The polar opposite. I didn't act because of all the thinking. That problem remains to this very day.

- Not caring about details? Painfully correct, why did I end up as SWE where details are all that matters?

- Appearing forgetful? 100%. I can't remember most of my childhood and have a bad memory in general. But I never misplace things. Can't remember work stuff if I don't write it down. Onenote saves me daily.

- Listening to instructions? Well, I'm very good at listening to people in bilateral situations. But during meetings? My mind goes places. And reading docs and instructions is almost impossible. Even if I can force myself to go through everything, I still miss details!

- Difficulty organizing? Absolutely, although I get it done if I'm forced to do it. But I hate it.

- Short attention span? Well, depends on the situation. In gaming, I can stay focused all day long. I can read a book for hours. No problem staying focused doing physical activities (sport). Staying focused on coding is really difficult and I constantly zone out.

- Taking risks? Ha, no. I don't take risks, at all. It's actually a problem.

- Impatience? Yes and no, depending on the situation. But I'm mostly quite patient. Maybe because I'm in my head most of the time?

- Mood swings? Not at all. At least not within one day. But during the week? There a bad days and good days.

- Not completing tasks? Not really, I tend to finish what I've started, if it is manageable, can be done in one go. But complex tasks, that may not be well defined? Personal hell.

- Inability to deal with stress? I'm a Jedi. I don't get stressed easily and if the situation becomes stressful, I get more focused. But I need a lot of downtime to keep my sanity.

That I went through these lists in a not so orderly fashion is also not the best sign, isn't it?

Re: Ask HN: How do I overcome mental laziness?

#183

Post by Strom »

DanielBMarkham wrote: post #179

"Lazy" is just another way of saying that you're not doing something somebody else thinks you should be doing. Nobody is lazy at playing video games or eating a favorite food. If you like doing it, you do it. You can't be lazy. You can only be lazy in some kind of context where you or others judge you and find you wanting. So two pieces of advice. First, stop judging so much. Do what you love doing and don't feel the…

> Habits are easy to change.

I agree that habits are key to success, but I've also found that habits are extremely hard to change. That's why they are so powerful. Once you're in a habbit of doing something it's very hard to fall off that track. This goes both ways too, because once you have a bad habbit, life can get miserable.

Re: Ask HN: How do I overcome mental laziness?

#184

Post by DanielBMarkham »

Strom wrote: post #183
DanielBMarkham wrote: post #179

"Lazy" is just another way of saying that you're not doing something somebody else thinks you should be doing. Nobody is lazy at playing video games or eating a favorite food. If you like doing it, you do it. You can't be lazy. You can only be lazy in some kind of context where you or others judge you and find you wanting. So two pieces of advice. First, stop judging so much. Do what you love doing and don't feel the…

> Habits are easy to change. I agree that habits are key to success, but I've also found that habits are extremely hard to change. That's why they are so powerful. Once you're in a habbit of doing something it's very hard to fall off that track. This goes both ways too, because once you have a bad habbit, life can get miserable.

I used to think exactly the same thing. I found in my own experience that this was because I was thinking of habits in too broad of terms. The trick was thinking of very small habit changes, not huge ones.

I found this book interesting, "Tiny Habits". The author does a much better job of explaining this than I probably can.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0358003326/

(Also note that one of the common definitions of addiction is where you want to do things but cannot because of some habitual behavior. Only you can judge whether that's the case or not, but I would think that's a different type of problem than regular habits)

Re: Ask HN: How do I overcome mental laziness?

#186

Post by masonic »

sharkweek wrote: post #55
hliyan wrote: post #42

I had a similar problem where the the bigger / the more complex the task in front of me was, the more my brain resisted to getting started and the more i procrasitnated. I came up with a fundamentally "agile" solution: break the problems down into smaller tasks until the first task is too small to offer resistance. E.g. rather than "write architecture specification", start with "outline the heads for architecture spe…

I don’t know what the true source is but I always enjoyed this little intro to a song by The White Stripes: “When problems overwhelm us, and sadness smothers us, where do we find the will and the courage to continue? Well, the answer may come in the caring voice of a friend, a chance encounter with a book, or from a personal faith. For Janet help came from her faith, but it also came from a squirrel. Shortly after he…

Did Jack never actually watch squirrels? They don't gather their nuts into a nest, they cache them individually by burying them in random places and remembering the locations.

A therapist colleague used a different metaphor.

Patient: "I'm overwhelmed by (task) and can't get going."

Therapist "Do you know how to eat an elephant?"

Patient: "Uh... No?"

Therapist: "One bite at a time."

Re: Ask HN: How do I overcome mental laziness?

#187

Post by sumedh »

DanielBMarkham wrote: post #179

"Lazy" is just another way of saying that you're not doing something somebody else thinks you should be doing. Nobody is lazy at playing video games or eating a favorite food. If you like doing it, you do it. You can't be lazy. You can only be lazy in some kind of context where you or others judge you and find you wanting. So two pieces of advice. First, stop judging so much. Do what you love doing and don't feel the…

> Habits are easy to change

The chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken.

Re: Ask HN: How do I overcome mental laziness?

#188

Post by avip »

hliyan wrote: post #42

I had a similar problem where the the bigger / the more complex the task in front of me was, the more my brain resisted to getting started and the more i procrasitnated. I came up with a fundamentally "agile" solution: break the problems down into smaller tasks until the first task is too small to offer resistance. E.g. rather than "write architecture specification", start with "outline the heads for architecture spe…

I think the proverb goes "The hardest part of running a mile is putting your shoes on".

Surely holds true for me.

Re: Ask HN: How do I overcome mental laziness?

#189

Post by lazyjones »

hliyan wrote: post #42

I had a similar problem where the the bigger / the more complex the task in front of me was, the more my brain resisted to getting started and the more i procrasitnated. I came up with a fundamentally "agile" solution: break the problems down into smaller tasks until the first task is too small to offer resistance. E.g. rather than "write architecture specification", start with "outline the heads for architecture spe…

> the more complex the task in front of me was, the more my brain resisted to getting started and the more i procrasitnated.

This is because our usual ways of procrastinating give us instant gratification with very little effort, so they raise the bar for real work that gets us there with much more effort, often for less tangible gratification.

Video games are particular bad in this regard (and I've played many 1000s of hours).

Re: Ask HN: How do I overcome mental laziness?

#190

Post by yoones »

Many answers assume that you have ADHD, that may be the case but here's another path to explore: undealt-with emotions.

Imagine you have a wire on your hand and you want to plug it to an electrical outlet that's on the wall right in front of you. You technically have all it takes to plug it. What if there's so much garbage between you and the wall that you can't reach to the electrical outlet? You can't plug the thing no matter how hard you try. Not that you're lacking something, but rather that some stuff gets in your way.

Emotions do get in the way. Some you may understand, some you may suspect, some you may not even be aware of. This is very common and you can work on these issues.. but probably not by yourself. If you decide that you're okay with discovering what's going on that you're not aware of yet (there always is some things we're not aware of), then a trained psychologist can help you a lot.

Oftentimes people suggest technics, tricks and whatnot to get around the symptoms. Maybe it's best to face the problem, understand it and fix it not with guilt but with kindness.

Good luck on your journey.

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