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Ask HN: How to not bring emotion from work back home?

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Re: Ask HN: How to not bring emotion from work back home?

#181

Post by japano1se »

0xfeba wrote: post #166
negativ0 wrote: post #162

Earlier quoted context omitted.

i can just say that this comment makes me angry

Why?

I'm not that commenter, but as a former Christian I must say that the most common Christian attitudes towards this sort of thing are highly irritating to non-Christians. Many Christians constantly bring up their religion and their terrible metaphysics* whether or not there was an invitation for them to do so, use their God to smack around people who don't behave the way they think they should, and generally lower the quality of any given discussion. Advice to pray to a God you don't believe in is useless advice. Imagine if I told you to sacrifice a lamb to Thor to cure your toothache.

* By terrible metaphysics, I mean to say that Christianity's incentive to act ethical, the judgment after death, also incentivizes people to disregard the world they actually live in, leading to unpleasant or even (counter-intuitively) unethical behavior. Some Christians also use these metaphysics as an excuse to treat non-believers like dirt. Not to mention taking the Bible as the infallible word of God that supposedly has all the answers, even though it's full of contradictions and blatant untruths.

FWIW, despite this comment probably coming across as quite hostile, I don't want to attack your faith. I'm just sick of the way some Christians choose to represent their faith in public.

Re: Ask HN: How to not bring emotion from work back home?

#184

Post by NOSHSHNACKERS »

Introspection, I try to see the world from the others point of view. I try to understand that I am an ape an animal and I am responding to my environment. It seems that the more I understand that the less I feel opressed by the technology I see the job as my cage and home as when I get to exercise. I try to be grateful for my freedom.

Re: Ask HN: How to not bring emotion from work back home?

#185

Post by cholantesh »

stewbrew wrote: post #177
cholantesh wrote: post #152

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>But there are also coaching and life counseling (not sure what the proper English terms are). Life coaching is just bad therapy from unqualified people. And they are often part of MLM schemes or associate themselves with (other) swindlers to part you from even more of your money.

I think it depends on the country and its regulations -- whether the profession is regulated at all. Anyway, coaching etc. is no therapy because the clients aren't (mentally) ill or anything. There is nothing to cure, which is what therapy is about.

Therapy and counselling can both be sought by people who are not mentally ill.

Re: Ask HN: How to not bring emotion from work back home?

#186

Post by losteverything »

1. Stop watching tv and listening to any news.

2. Quit your job and work at a place(s) where you don't have to think. In fact where you are supposed to not think. Deliver things. Be a cashier. Rinse. Repeat.

Mike Rowe of dirty jobs said the happiest people he ever knew were those he featured on DJ.

Struggle financially. Earn your vacations and personal purchases. Make your time not idle like retired/unemployed do.

These eliminated my anger.

Re: Ask HN: How to not bring emotion from work back home?

#187

Post by 0xfeba »

japano1se wrote: post #181
0xfeba wrote: post #166

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why?

I'm not that commenter, but as a former Christian I must say that the most common Christian attitudes towards this sort of thing are highly irritating to non-Christians. Many Christians constantly bring up their religion and their terrible metaphysics* whether or not there was an invitation for them to do so, use their God to smack around people who don't behave the way they think they should, and generally lower the…

> Advice to pray to a God you don't believe in is useless advice. Imagine if I told you to sacrifice a lamb to Thor to cure your toothache.

I'm atheist so to me it is as if it was your Thor example. It doesn't bother me though, I just disregard it. However, if I were depressed/stressed I could see it being irritating.

Re: Ask HN: How to not bring emotion from work back home?

#188

Post by e40 »

Here's what a mentor told me many years ago:

Look for the clenching of your emotional fist. It happens before you say or do anything, and if you can recognize that and decide to delay a response until after you have time to think about an appropriate response, then you will be much better off.

It takes practice. For me, the positive outcomes from waiting reinforced the waiting behavior. I just know if I wait, it will always be better and I can respond in a way that won't make the situation worse.

Re: Ask HN: How to not bring emotion from work back home?

#190

Post by lawik »

m_fayer wrote: post #138
lawik wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, therapy has done wonders for my ability to take action instead of letting frustration build up. For me, your emotions are your emotions, you can't just leave them behind. But you can often release them in a constructive way or at least vent them a bit :)

You can't wish them away, no. But if you change the right habits of mind (not saying that's easy) you'll have less negative emotions in need of unpleasant metabolizing in the first place.

I agree :)
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