> I can ask my brother for money
> we have a trash relationship
Do you have a trash relationship because you've asked him for money too many times?
Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life
181–190 of 360 posts
Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life
#182Become a member of your local library and read. Choosing what to read can be difficult, but a good place to start is to read books that have movie and TV show counterparts which you like. I'm reading "Orange is the New Black" now. I'm 60 pages in and it's just as good as the show.
> I feel like I should go back to school but do I really want to rack up all that loan?
Always remember that you can learn for free. There is Khan Academy, MIT OpenCourseWare, edX, Saylor University and, formerly, Coursera (they charge for some classes now). I truly believe you will learn more from MOOCs than you will from classroom instruction.
Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life
#18329 myself, and going through something similar. Millennials like us aren't allowed to grow up, it doesn't matter how successful or educated we are. In fact, the more we accomplish the more we are disinfranchised because society merely wants us to be consumers, go to work, pay the bills, and try not to cause any trouble. We aren't supposed to be anything more than consumer wage slaves. Our generation has been brainwas…
> Millennials like us I think it's worth mentioning that almost none of what you've said is new to Millennials. People were expressing the same sentiments in the 80s and 90s. My parents and their hippie friends were expressing the same sentiments in the 1970s.
While it might not be new, it doesn't change the fact that it is still happening, and actually gotten worse. Many of those people you're referring to likely ended up disenfranchised later in life as well, some of them may have even ended up in jail (which happened to a few of my Dad's hippie friends). Many of those people you're referring to never had the chance to grow up to be functioning members of society which further illustrates my point.
If you gave me a choice, I would love to exchange the levels of corruption and economic conditions from the 70's, 80's, and 90's for whatever the hell it is we have today. There were 10x the possibilities then there are today, and society in general was much more free compared to the present.
Our parents didn't grow up in a surveillance state, sure maybe they had some run-ins with the police when out in public, but that was it. There is no privacy anymore, and if you do or say anything that doesn't fit a politically correct narrative you're not only unemployable, but pretty much ostracized from society today.
Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life
#184I did go through this when I got my first degree. I graduated with a degree in writing and prepared to become a journalist and it was like the whole thing turned to ash in my mouth. I just didn't want it anymore. I couldn't even write anymore, and to this day, about 10 years later, I still don't write much even though it was a hobby of mine from a young age.
The best solution I can offer you is to wait. Find a hustle (job you don't mind doing that makes enough money for you) and let yourself recover a bit until a new plan / opportunity emerges. For me, I got a job working as a bar tender for a few years, then one day decided I couldn't wait on people any more and I didn't want to be poor anymore. Enrolled in my local college for Electrical Engineering and plowed my new path. But it took ~3 years for me to be ready to do that. I had suffered a fairly crushing defeat and needed time to recover and let a new plan gestate.
Be patient, and ignore the voice in your head that worries about how old you are and how so many other people seem to have their course charted well before you.
Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life
#185Life is a circle you feel lost then you find your way, only to find its not your way, then you feel lost again, and it goes on till you die. Know this that you will never find any deep meaning to life, its all there it is to life. Its simple give happiness to others, be honest and just enjoy your time here doing things you want to do and then leave in peace. Be happy or not its immaterial, you can't be in one state f…
+1 most concise and accurate explanation of life so far
Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life
#186Usually on this site and Quora, when people have a post like yours, the posters usually offer a piece of advice, that in my humble opinion, advices are useless because usually they say more about the advice-giver, what they wish they could've done when they were younger (doctors/lawyers who studied hard to make bank, advising all students to have fun when they're young but how did they get there?), or tout their own…
This is amazing, thank you for sharing this.
I'm going through something similar and you never want to go on a full on fight because, like you said, it's hard "knowing that you or the other person may not come out as friends anymore".
It's a hard lesson but I'm slowly realizing that it's better to know the limits of how real and true your friendships are rather than realizing it was all based off unstable foundations.
Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life
#187Undoubtedly, many will suggest traveling. I went traveling the world last year for 10 months, although I did not do so because I "had the blues". I did so because I found myself with no obligations and enough money to do so, so it would be a great time to do it. I had a fantastic time, but now I am suffering from the blues, not before. I think of all the places I went to, and I simply cannot stand to be at work. What…
Going to a 3rd world country opens your eyes to how 'free' we are. In Bali you could just go and buy some stuff, set up a stall and sell it. Make some cash. Try that in the UK. Best thing is to go volunteer in an African school. Cheap to get there, you do something amazing while you are there. And it'll change your life in a good way.
Honestly, after spending a bit of time in Africa, they really do not need more unskilled volunteers, but money to employ locals to do the same job. Locals should be educated and then go on ahead to teach the next generation.
I did meet several skilled volunteers (doctors, finance directors) that are bringing knowledge to areas that are severely lacking. Construction of solar powered resources is popular.
Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life
#188I'm 32 and I've had similar thoughts at least since I was 27. A kind of existential crisis tinged with deep boredom and non-clinical depression. I've found 3 things that have helped me deal with my depression/boredom: 1. Have things to look forward to: Always, always find things to anticipate and look forward to in the short and long term. Whether it is something small, like a treat at the end of the day or something…
Do you have a family? A family, an SO or kids is the best way to understand life through other perspectives.
Getting married and/or having kids is a terrible way to try to address existential boredom. A spouse will not give your life purpose. Kids probably won't either, and if it turns out that you are unhappy and resentful after your failed attempt to solve your boredom, you can easily screw up your kids' lives (and screw up your own life, because kids are not a short-term commitment).
Have kids because you want them. Not because you think they'll give your life purpose.
Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life
#189To seek fulfilment is to invite frustration. There is no fulfilment of the self, but only the strengthening of the self through possessing what it craves for. Possession, at whatever level, makes the self feel potent, rich, active, and this sensation is called fulfilment; but as with all sensations, it soon fades, to be replaced by yet another gratification. We are all familiar with this process of replacement or sub…
>So.. I guess start identifying yourself strongly with something. What that something is not very relevant, cast a dice and see what sticks. Nope, that's not what Krishnamurti's pointing to. He's pointing to the problem with identifying with anything -- objects, ideas, personalities, character. That this identifying strengthens the sense of self, which leads to a fear (of death, death of the sense of self). Just offe…
the solution is mine not Krishnamurthy's
Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life
#190Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Millennials like us I think it's worth mentioning that almost none of what you've said is new to Millennials. People were expressing the same sentiments in the 80s and 90s. My parents and their hippie friends were expressing the same sentiments in the 1970s.
While it might not be new, it doesn't change the fact that it is still happening, and actually gotten worse. Many of those people you're referring to likely ended up disenfranchised later in life as well, some of them may have even ended up in jail (which happened to a few of my Dad's hippie friends). Many of those people you're referring to never had the chance to grow up to be functioning members of society which f…
>If you gave me a choice, I would love to exchange the levels of corruption and economic conditions from the 70's, 80's, and 90's
This is a pretty rose-colored view of the era that included the Vietnam War, interest rates at 20+%, Iran-Contra, an assassination attempt on the President of the U.S., the Cold War and the associated threat of total societal destruction, the uncertainty surrounding the end of communism, at least two deep recessions, a war in Iraq, vastly fewer rights for LGBT groups, much higher crime rates in U.S. cities, the crack epidemic, the emergence of AIDS, and so on and so on and so on.
Your generation isn't experiencing anything more novel than the ones that came before it. Your problems might be different, in some ways, but the sky isn't falling.