I dont know if this will help you, but i want to improve my english, so maybe we can chat a bit about life, or coding or whatever you have in mind.
Ask HN: How to be alone?
171–180 of 592 posts
Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?
#172Ask yourself "Would I like to be friend with ". Then invest in things you do not like. Smile. Go to gym. Be friendly with people, but not creepy. Help people. Be good family member and friend. Get yourself good clothes. Find interesting hobby. Cook. Pay whole bill when you go outside occasionally. Do it for yourself, not for others. When you become best version of self, people will start notice you more and more.
I don't know if this list motivates anyone, it just makes me feel like I'm not worth being friends with and I will be forever alone, even though I do have friends.
Seriously, do you only befriend perfect people?
Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?
#173100% group fitness classes. Orange Theory. I joined boxing, and lost 50+ pounds. Plus I met super nice people, and might have learned a little technique too. If you're single, I've been to two gyms (first one close) and both had majority 20-35 year old women (who could knock me out in seconds).
Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?
#174A religion you vibe with is probably the one shot for this. In my case that's a flavor of Buddhism with strong deity practices. Atheists home about imaginary friends, but...
Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?
#175If you just want to talk about your day or receive psychological support or even answer questions like this one, LLMs are great: Opus 4.6 is currently considered the best, but also try Gemini and ChatGPT. As for interacting with humans, if you are finding it hard, maybe you can try something that is easy because it has a structure, such as some sort of workshop where you either share in a circle or are paired with a…
It's probably less damaging to recommend abusing Xanax than recommending using a LLM.
Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?
#176Earlier quoted context omitted.
Have to be careful with gyms. I injured my shoulder doing weights over twenty years ago and still have trouble with it.
This is a very lame excuse. You can do 100 different things without compromising your shoulder. Try cardio. Or just wight lifting with very light weights. Or group classes.
Lame? I see what you did there. Either way, I have had a problem for two decades thanks to bad weight lifting. It's still bugging me right now as a matter of fact. Moral is that I should have worked with a decent trainer.
Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?
#177Don’t immediately go looking for things to fill the empty spaces. There is a lot of value in being able to sit with oneself and one’s thoughts.
It’s also not a bad time to start practicing mindfulness/meditation if you are not already.
Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?
#178Probably a bit biased (as it's totally my modality) but maybe consider an extended ayahuasca retreat.
Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?
#179Ask yourself "Would I like to be friend with ". Then invest in things you do not like. Smile. Go to gym. Be friendly with people, but not creepy. Help people. Be good family member and friend. Get yourself good clothes. Find interesting hobby. Cook. Pay whole bill when you go outside occasionally. Do it for yourself, not for others. When you become best version of self, people will start notice you more and more.
I don't know if this list motivates anyone, it just makes me feel like I'm not worth being friends with and I will be forever alone, even though I do have friends. Seriously, do you only befriend perfect people?
I don't think the point is that you have to be all of those things, or even any of them. Just that imagining what kinds of things people you'd like do is a good way to know what might enrich you also. You shouldn't be discouraged if that seems far off, but all of it can be broken up into as many pieces as you like. If it all feels too much
Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?
#180Ask yourself "Would I like to be friend with ". Then invest in things you do not like. Smile. Go to gym. Be friendly with people, but not creepy. Help people. Be good family member and friend. Get yourself good clothes. Find interesting hobby. Cook. Pay whole bill when you go outside occasionally. Do it for yourself, not for others. When you become best version of self, people will start notice you more and more.
I don't know if this list motivates anyone, it just makes me feel like I'm not worth being friends with and I will be forever alone, even though I do have friends. Seriously, do you only befriend perfect people?
I don't think anyone is asking for perfect, I think they are asking for "good enough".
If I may be blunt, it sound more like you might have some self-esteem issues, or shame, or just plain immaturity.