Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

For me it was about lifestyle changes, and displacing “fun” and cravings, with things that were more fun and more rewarding. And some hard reflection, and planning.

I think in my path to recovery there were a whole load of little steps and changes.

I found - and meticulously nurtured - passions outside of drinking. This led me to get healthier and fitter, and then I started to take pride in my health - I displaced chippies with vegetables, and guess what, my cravings naturally changed with time. The food tangent is related, I knew alcohol was high in calorific value, but the extent this played on me physically was noticeable. So, health suddenly became a hugely attainable goal for me.

I bought a smart watch and this tracked my heart rate. I saw a significant difference in my rate when drinking, and especially while sleeping with alcohol in my system.

I was partially drawn to alcohol due to stress relief, however seeing the impact this had on me mentally and physically I realised that my net anxiety was actually increased as a result.

Now, on to you. Forgive yourself when you do stuff up. Easier said than done. What you are doing is not easy, but please don’t be hard on yourself. You are self-aware, and you are trying.. that is amazing!

Maybe do schedule a few drinks sometimes. Maybe instead of 12 shit beers that are cheap, treat yourself to two expensive beers that are exquisite. Make this a positive experience, planned and controlled.

Try planning ahead. When do you crack in to 12 beers. Have a week plan. Book stuff in in advance. My approach became booking in to gym classes (because then I have to go - and guess what, after 6 weeks I wanted to go more than anything else… thank the dopamine and fitness level achievements)

Identify your triggers. You are looking at your transgressions after the train wreck of a binge sesh. But triggers that lead you to this moment arise before you even decide to buy a twelve pack of beer. Work out what these triggers are, why they are happening, and how you can improve.

Best of luck on your journey. Please post a couple of updates so we can all know how you are getting along :)

There's an alcohol free wine called Fre. It tastes mostly like a dry grape juice, but it's fairly sippable.

Also reaffirm this by telling your friends and family your intention to stop drinking. It helps if they don't keep getting you to drink.

Lastly, what works for me is also realising that I don't need to drink to have a good time out. I can meet friends who drink at bars but they can drink while I sip my fruit juice.

I'm not sure if it is a result of getting older, change in diet and it doesn't really matter. I like a good wine, beer, whiskey or rum, but in the last six months I started notice that I don't sleep very well after drinking. I can have one or two beer or one glass of wine, but not much more. After that it starts to interfer with my sleep, costing me hours of sleep. Given the choice I'd always put a good nights sleep before a cozy evening with wine. I could just have the one drink, but to me at least, it's simply easier to just not drink at all.

If you're in a settings where you're almost expected to have a drink, you can just use my reasoning, that you don't sleep well after drink alcohol, it's honestly something most people seem to understand.

Small note on the: "just hating yourself when you fail" that's not productive. Recognize that you failed, that it's okay to fail, and examine why. Then start over and try to learn from you mistake. E.g. maybe don't have alcohol in the house, replace it with something else, for me its tea and sparkling water. (Having a replacement beverage for the time when I'd just relax and normally have a drink have helped a lot)