Ask HN: Why is machine learning easier to learn than basic social skills?

This is good advice. You will like to get the “oh, I didn’t think you’d be a developer” comment, just from your looks.

Also once you’ve been to the gym for some months the tone will never really go away if you do some physical activity now and then, so it is a really good investment in confidence IMO.

Showing up and exposing yourself to more opportunities is crucial.

Social skills are harder to learn than machine learning because you can learn them on your own.

To learn social skills you need to do practical work involving other people. But everyone your age is lvl 99 and you're at lvl 5. It's not even about catching up anymore. You basically speak a different language than these people.

There aren't really that many good explanations of basic social skill stuff because it's mostly unconscious to people. They have never explicitly thought about it. It comes so naturally that they can't teach it.

Also most people would rather make fun of you than help - look at people on twitter and so on screenshotting this thread and insulting the OP. Not sure why that is a thing.

Why: what to learn is a lot clearer.

Also, social skills are an oppositional race to some degree: you want to get better at getting people to trust you at the same time people are learning how to not trust anyone in this environment of being grifted by ads/shitty jobs/pundits 24/7.

My advice: Be kind but ruthlessly performative. Think of yourself as putting on a show for other people. But tap into your innate compassion and love for humankind and ask yourself how they could benefit from the show.

Please dont (over)analyze the situation. Humans are not machines. Each are unique. Treat them as such. This has made me perceived as being very extroverted and social when in fact I am quite introverted (I came to Germany to study). And this perspective works with all cultures. Engineers, exaggerating, have a black and white mindset and are overly rational and want to always have the right argument (and win).Hang out more with people with different interests and background. Life is not about your own interests and topics (or winning arguments) - adopt this perspective. You will soon find others consider you extremely social. Do not try to be a hacker with people.

Look if your are feeling "social skills" matters (I study CS and I know a lot of humans who are in the same boat as you), it helps to change your view of humans as not being a game, a machine, or something you can analyze and be better after learning the rules.