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Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

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Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

#161

Post by ryanstorm »

ardit33 wrote: post #28

This is a symptom of someone that lived a 'square' life style all their lives... and never did something out of bounds or take risks You really need to spice up your life... Go to the dessert, do some 'safe' drugs, (aka, mushrooms)..., get a mistress.... get a motorcycle (and be safe about it), buy one of those trycycle open air cars and ride the coast, start playing some social sports seriously, (volleyball/soccer)…

I spent much of my 20's struggling with finding purpose in life, similar to the OP, and this is the only comment here that matched with what I landed on. I'm now about to begin my 30's with many of these things either done or in progress.

The biggest one has been taking up climbing as a sport. Climbing has a clear path to improvement, has a wonderful social element, takes you to amazing places around the world, and can be as safe or risky as you're willing to push.

The other big component in life that I've taken up is art. Writing, painting, music, poetry, you name it. There is something innate about producing art that I think every human can benefit from. On that note, I think it's also easy for us to dismiss ourselves as untalented in any of these arts, but they're like any other skill and they'll become more fulfilling with time.

Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

#162

Post by jbj »

cheschire wrote: post #12

Once you’ve conquered Maslow’s original hierarchy of needs, dig into his final need that he added later in life. Achieve not for yourself but for your community or your world. Transcend the self, and feel that higher order need. As another commenter mentioned, altruistic endeavors are a good choice. Even things like being a Boy Scout leader can be hugely fulfilling of that broader need.

I think I remember reading or hearing Malcolm Gladwell reccomend to visit less fortunate/developed parts of the globe, and understand what really matters for humans, as well as realising how small things even can help.

For an extreme case to seek inspiration from someone who has everything, and genuenly seems content with his life is Bill Gates.

Best of luck, and congrats on achieving what you have!

Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

#163

Post by blisterpeanuts »

throwaway39420 wrote: post #150
blisterpeanuts wrote: post #13

When I was older than you, I left technology to try for medical school. After several years of studies, some of it absolutely brutal, I had to go back to technology; my brain is just not wired to memorize large amounts of information as required to pass med school exams. It was a fascinating detour and I was fortunate that I had the tech skills to get back into technology, though my dreams of becoming a doctor had co…

30 years old here and starting the prereqs for RN next week part-time (online). I figured at this age I don't have the time or mental acuity to be a MD. My first class being A&P should be a tell-tale sign of whether this experiment will go well.

30 is young, you'll be fine.

The tricky part (for me at least) is the memorization. After 20 years of working in a field where I can look up everything I need to know, suddenly I had to commit thousands of data points to memory to pass a test (then promptly forget the data afterwards). It's an archaic system.

Anyway you'll have to find a way to memorize and regurgitate. If you can do that, the rest is just common sense.

Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

#165

Post by adv0r »

adamaflynn wrote: post #111

I've been exploring pretty much the same questions for the last few years. The first couple years felt distressing because I didn't feel like I was making progress quickly enough and I had way more questions than answers. Lately, I feel more positive about the direction of travel, and I've made peace with this being a slow, difficult journey. Seems like it should be "easy", but it's really not. Accepting that and not…

I'm thinking AI...

Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

#166

Post by ainasurfs »

They say it's the journey, not the goal that matters. Having achieved everything you ever wanted sounds kind of scarry. But there's so much stuff you can do. How about helping other people or our planet? Doing some charity work or environmental projects?

Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

#167

Post by adv0r »

oriolgg wrote: post #148
adv0r wrote: post #75

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Barcelona. I will try to follow your advice locally. There is no shortage of social emergencies in southern Europe.

I'm also from Barcelona, and while I consider myself fortunate and relatively successful, I'm still far from the point you currently are. However, I have experienced doing social projects purely for meaning during few months between opportunities. The most fulfilling one was setting up a mentoring program in high school, where I went through a set of sessions with a small group of ambitious young students. Not techni…

merci Oriol ;) We should connect, I'll send you an email.

Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

#168

Post by kaizendc »

throwaway39420 wrote: post #150
blisterpeanuts wrote: post #13

When I was older than you, I left technology to try for medical school. After several years of studies, some of it absolutely brutal, I had to go back to technology; my brain is just not wired to memorize large amounts of information as required to pass med school exams. It was a fascinating detour and I was fortunate that I had the tech skills to get back into technology, though my dreams of becoming a doctor had co…

30 years old here and starting the prereqs for RN next week part-time (online). I figured at this age I don't have the time or mental acuity to be a MD. My first class being A&P should be a tell-tale sign of whether this experiment will go well.

Try utilizing Anki for spaced repetition. Brilliant program used by many medical students.

Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

#170

Post by OrangeBlaze »

bad_good_guy wrote: post #154
OrangeBlaze wrote: post #91

I was once in a similar situation: I felt full but empty at the same time. I was very content with my life but I knew something was missing and I had no idea what it was. Some people have suggested to spend time ‘giving back’. But why? There is no real objective reason to be altruistic. It seemed to me that it was all meaningless. The very foundations of morals and ethics became weak. I hated this perspective and tri…

Is submitting yourself to the concept of a god not the opposite of introspection? You are forgoing the need to find meaning in yourself and the world around you and instead choosing to believe a pre-made 'answer' to those questions. To me this is like choosing to throw yourself into a relationship only because you find that you struggle with being single. Using an easier, readily-available external source of comfort…

I believe you misunderstood the concept of submission. In life, worship is inevitable. For instance, people could worship material gains or the longing for the acceptance of society. Whether you like it or not, you will worship something(or multiple things) in your existence. In the act of submission, you conclude that there is nothing worthy of worship but Allah, the creator and sovereign of all worlds.

Part of this conclusion involves introspection. I believe there is a false dilemma in your approach where you imply that you can either find meaning in yourself or follow a 'pre-made answer'. These are not mutually inclusive. In fact, in numerous verses in Quran(the word of Allah), you will find that Allah strongly encourages the reader to sincerely reflect and find truth in him/herself and the world. Allah has given us the gift of reasoning and introspection and we can use that to reach the ultimate peace in submission to Allah.

Islam, being very strictly monotheistic, promotes that true comfort and solace is provided solely by Allah(in submission), not in being part of a 'collective'.

I hope that was insightful. :D

Disclaimer: Don't take my word, or anyone's word regarding Islam, for granted. I strongly recommend reading the Quran with an open mind and open heart.

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