Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

While you are in this interviewing holding pattern figuring out your next long term landing spot, it may be worth exploring if you can transfer internally to another team at your current company. I'm working as a consultant with a consulting company that does a lot of difficult enterprise projects that are 6-12 months in duration, and the novelty of new challenges makes a huge difference in my personal ability to cope with shitty situations. Usually by the end of a large enterprise engagement I am feeling burnt out, but a second wind always comes when the next (shitty but differently shitty) project comes along and I have new people and problems to occupy my mind. It relieves that feeling of being trapped and powerless with the unchangeable aspects of a company's enterprise culture.

I honestly have no idea how anyone maintains their sanity while trundling along on the same stuff for years on end; I think those who do are the exception not the norm. So don't feel bad that you're struggling - You're in good company.

Maybe my experience can give you another point of view or some ideas on figuring out what's next.

Happy to be a sounding board if you're looking more for that.

My email is in my profile.

His wife put him in between a rock and a hard place. He didn't get the job, but can't even take the time to reflect on his feelings because of her pressure? Jesus Christ.

>>Now I'm dumb and worthless.

I would like to address this part only.

I used to work for a startup where conditions got worse and bosses got greedy to the point of increasing our commute time by 1.5 hours and reducing our paychecks using new tax cuts as an excuse.

During the time I was there, I was the "rockstar programmer", the "super-committer", the "feynmann of scheduling algorithms" and as soon as I quit, I was the shameful person of broken promises and worst coder ever in history.

Months later I was still told that former employers were saying things like "fixing code he wrote" and "cleaning up his mess" from a few collegues and friends. Since I know for a fact that I was a valued employee one day and worse than dirt the next day, I don't blame myself for this change. Neither should you.

You are the constant. Your intelligence did not change. Your character did not change. You are just responding to a new environment. It seems your surroundings changed considerably and some adaptation is required. I suggest you figure out what changed and how to adapt. It requires some work, some persistence, some challenges may lie ahead, but it is nothing to despair about.

Your image among others is a fleeting social construct prone to change with just a few words, just a few jobs completed, just a few successes.

Don't believe that crap about IQ being fixed - the more you work the brain muscle the better it gets. Do puzzles you enjoy that are hard ... if that's whats between you and your ideal place of work, you can improve that with practice.

You can try reverse psychology too - Jeez, Im an idiot, but how would a non-idiot do this puzzle ?? A lot of problem solving is not about raw IQ .. theres practice and skills, and having a big bag of tricks, and creativity.. and persistence. People aren't born doing puzzles..they learn it. None of us are Einstein or Feynman .. but we do what we can, work at our craft. Perhaps just measure your effort going in, not the results coming out, at least for a while ?

You seem like a decent human being. Things will come around.