When did I say all possible outcomes are equal? The
most likely scenario is not a sudden explosion of yields but a gradual increase in yields. Other possible scenarios are low yields for much longer than you expect, or your "armageddon" scenario where yields jump by a few hundred basis points in a year or something. If you don't believe central banks can keep rates low for another decade in the U.S. see: Japan. (Don't assume I am claiming this is a good idea, I am just explaining the reality of the incredible leverage central banking has.)
If you buy a 10% discounted tax free bond fund (a taxable equivalent of a 9% yield currently) that has medium duration (~6 years) then you are fairly well cushioned from gradually rising yields, as the fund turns over and moves into higher yield bonds your distributions should increase. In other words, all of your fears are not hidden, secret, insider knowledge, but are largely getting priced in at this point.
The biggest risk with long-term CEF muni bond holdings is not interest rate risk (since you don't have to sell them, you have a 10% cushion, they have moderate duration, and a large enough spike in yields to really impair your principal is a pretty low probability outcome. but again: you don't have to sell them.) The real risk is inflation risk. And this is what I said in the Disclaimer:, which you seemed to not read. Also, your viewpoint seems to indicate the best assets to hold are gold and cash, and the cash side of your portfolio is going to be exposed to the same inflation risk as your bond coupons. There's also risk of default, but you can find national funds that are well diversified, etc, so this doesn't seem to serious a concern either.
edit: Also, one thing you are overlooking is that if the shit hits the fan, there is a lot of greedy, borrowed money in equities right now, both people chasing dividend yield and people chasing capital gains now that we're in a bull market, thanks to the Fed's bubble, that will head for the exits. It will go where it always goes: government backed fixed income and money markets. This will cause downward pressure on yields in the scenario where Fed moves cause a panic in the stock market, even though ironically the Fed doesn't even buy equities, it only buys bonds.