Ask HN: My son might be blind – how to best support • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: My son might be blind – how to best support

#151

Post by webspinner » Sat, Sep 21, 2024, 9:44 AM UTC

fsckboy wrote: post #105

dunghill wrote: post #103

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's interesting how kids can adapt so naturally. We've got so many preconceived ideas about difficulties. When I was young there was a deaf kid in our school. We just figured out communication as needed. Kids don't overthink things like adults do. The environment matters, but sometimes we should just let kids figure it out.

> We've got so many preconceived ideas they're not preconceived, you didn't have them when you were a child. I think this points to the benefits to their own development (and then to the rest of us) that abled children get from disabilities being mainstreamed as much as is practical.

As soon as you turn 25, they become preconceived. Or probably before that.

Re: Ask HN: My son might be blind – how to best support

#152

Post by webspinner » Sat, Sep 21, 2024, 9:46 AM UTC

bnjemian wrote: post #28

I once read that some people who are blind from an early age, as they get older, start to click their tongue, but often those around them (parents, siblings, etc.) will discourage them. Thing is, that clicking can actually be used to develop a type of vision that operates similarly to echo location in cetaceans (whales, dolphins, etc.) – it comes about because the child realizes that if they make a sharp sound, they…

Well I didn't do this automatically, that's for sure. It was something my mother saw on TV and said you should start doing that, I was like uh no that's weird.

Re: Ask HN: My son might be blind – how to best support

#153

Post by webspinner » Sat, Sep 21, 2024, 9:48 AM UTC

ClawsOnPaws wrote: post #57

jesterswilde wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Learning to understand the world around you via clicking isn't a natural or easy thing to do. I can't do it personally but have looked into it. For me the benefits didn't seem worth the time investment (plus I was older when I looked into it.) Learning to click to understand what is around you is, IMO, a viable thing to look into for your kid and decide if you want to undertake that training. Daniel Kish is the name…

Fellow blind person here, adding my own anecdote. I click and echolocate. I have two different kinds of clicks. A soft click for very immediate surrounding which I can do rapidly if I need to, and a loud click for figuring out large spaces which I don't use very often for relatively obvious reasons. They're quite helpful for me and especially in new unfamiliar spaces it's almost a reflex that happens on its own unles…

Your lucky! I never got to climb trees until I was in my late 20s because apparently it was something, for some reason, I just couldn't do. Skydiving though was cool! I'm not kidding.

Re: Ask HN: My son might be blind – how to best support

#154

Post by webspinner » Sat, Sep 21, 2024, 9:52 AM UTC

fwip wrote: post #69

pvaldes wrote: post #44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Blind people could benefit of carrying one or several ultrasonic sensor like those used on cars to park. That would emit soft bleeps, faster when something is on the way or closer to an obstacle. Can be built easily with an Arduino I think that another possibility could be to fill your home or workplace with those devices put on walls or furniture. The idea would be that your table could say to you "lookout, I'm here…

Blind people don't have a big problem with bumping into furniture in their own home, much the same way you don't wipe out when walking from your bed to the bathroom in the dark. And instead of you getting 30 seconds of practice every other night, they navigate that way all the time. Also, a bunch of noise playing whenever you walk through your house sounds like a huge bother.

Can confirm, I do this all the time lol. The crashing into furneture thing hah. I think it's too much fun! Also, I wouldn't want too much sound around me. I'm already aversive to overly loud, overly changing sounds. They tend to set off my migraines.

Re: Ask HN: My son might be blind – how to best support

#155

Post by webspinner » Sat, Sep 21, 2024, 9:56 AM UTC

Der_Einzige wrote: post #99

steve_adams_86 wrote: post #91

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Coping is quite literally necessary. It’s the same for people with cognitive or psychological disabilities. The world isn’t organized or structured with you in mind… You need to cope with the immediate challenges and find solutions, and often you need to cope with the psycho-emotional aspect of living in a world that often works against rather than with you. It’s difficult. Not coping is a recipe for a really bad tim…

I’m comfortable with it but most members of the various disability communities would not like me since, among other things, I strongly advocate for pre natal testing and elective abortion of people with serious issues like blindness. I think that being blind makes life not worth living. I’m extremely supportive of MAID and physician assisted suicidal for these exact reasons. “Coping” by telling those who don’t want t…

I'm not in support of that kind of thing, and believes anyone who is should in fact, take a long walk off a non-existent pier! Your just advocating for ableism if you support that kind of thing.

Re: Ask HN: My son might be blind – how to best support

#156

Post by webspinner » Sat, Sep 21, 2024, 9:57 AM UTC

steve_adams_86 wrote: post #146

Der_Einzige wrote: post #99

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’m comfortable with it but most members of the various disability communities would not like me since, among other things, I strongly advocate for pre natal testing and elective abortion of people with serious issues like blindness. I think that being blind makes life not worth living. I’m extremely supportive of MAID and physician assisted suicidal for these exact reasons. “Coping” by telling those who don’t want t…

If I was blind I’d have a multitude of things worth living for. All of my senses have the potential of lifetimes of experiences, and so much is missed out on because I prioritize my sight so much. I’m pretty sure I’d adjust quite quickly. Start playing music again, pay closer attention to my surroundings not directly in front of me, learn new ways to relate with my family and deepen our relationships, you name it. It…

Well I'm blind, and I would rather not die until 40-50 years from now, thanks! I only support that kind of thing for terminal conditions.

Re: Ask HN: My son might be blind – how to best support

#157

Post by webspinner » Sat, Sep 21, 2024, 10:01 AM UTC

squigz wrote: post #101

Der_Einzige wrote: post #99

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’m comfortable with it but most members of the various disability communities would not like me since, among other things, I strongly advocate for pre natal testing and elective abortion of people with serious issues like blindness. I think that being blind makes life not worth living. I’m extremely supportive of MAID and physician assisted suicidal for these exact reasons. “Coping” by telling those who don’t want t…

> I think that being blind makes life not worth living. Good thing you have no idea what you're talking about.

Idiots here always have to take it to the next level right?

Re: Ask HN: My son might be blind – how to best support

#158

Post by webspinner » Sat, Sep 21, 2024, 10:03 AM UTC

Just fyi, I would recommend posting in r/blind, for a better community, and not here, since there's already so much death crap in the comments, not what a parent looking for advice came to see! Oh, sorry mods if this isn't allowed.

Re: Ask HN: My son might be blind – how to best support

#159

Post by webspinner » Sat, Sep 21, 2024, 10:16 AM UTC

onemoresoop wrote: post #113

Der_Einzige wrote: post #99

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’m comfortable with it but most members of the various disability communities would not like me since, among other things, I strongly advocate for pre natal testing and elective abortion of people with serious issues like blindness. I think that being blind makes life not worth living. I’m extremely supportive of MAID and physician assisted suicidal for these exact reasons. “Coping” by telling those who don’t want t…

> various disability communities would not like me since, among other things, I strongly advocate for pre natal testing and elective abortion of people with serious issues like blindness. I think they're right to not want you around them, you sound odious to them and your ideas are very questionable. Where do you draw the line as there are various degrees of disability. What if you discover that you yourself already…

I already don't like, and would not want to meet that person in public! So yeah no!

Re: Ask HN: My son might be blind – how to best support

#160

Post by webspinner » Sat, Sep 21, 2024, 10:22 AM UTC

lynx23 wrote: post #46

blind man in his 40s here. Reduced contact to his overprotective mother. My most important advice: Support your child, but don't forget to let him make his own experiences at some point. Don't overprotect, which is the worst for blind people. Coping mechanisms are very individual, but one pattern is clear: Those overprotected that don't flee from their parents end up being even more disabled. Why? Because you need ti…

You said part of what I wanted to say, thanks! TO try and make a long story very short, I too have a very overprotevtive mother. I'm in the process of trying to deal with that through therapy, but in the end, I think I'm just going to have to break off contact, which is what I did in 2015 for a bit.