Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

This idea is basically conservatism. It works for a lot of people, there must be something to it, but it's not some kind of objective truth or the only outlook on life.

Buddha wants to know your location.

> For my situation I suspect a strong component is personality-related

I think that's true for me, too. While the work organisation and environment is simply bad, I believe that the large part of harm is self-inducted in my case. Changing workplace would definitely help, but I definitely need to work on the underlying personal issues. I think about some kind of therapy to worry less...

I kind of trained myself to worry less. But the work-related stress is stronger, so in the end I care less for some important personal things, and I'm still frustrated with work.

> How have you found things since going back after the 3 weeks?

I felt much better... for around a week. When I went back after 3 weeks, I had a clean slate. Some topics were taken over and completed by colleagues, while others were not taken over and there was nothing to save.

But after that? It returned to "normal" state of being tired and stressed. That's not only my issue – it's a small company, and we all are overworked. Physically, we are unable to meet production deadlines, answer all emails, prepare all projects. That's just how it works. So after two weeks, I was sinking in emails, had to deal with calls from angry clients, etc.

The software industry is designed by nature to be an absolutely soul sucking experience. Operating off the premise that most people get into computer science and programming because of the control, and general artistry, involved:

0. You are a cost center as a software engineer even if you produce value well outsized relative to your salary. You will always be a cost center because some party school MBA can't factor you into an excel sheet.

1. Sprints are way to reduce you to a set of numbers and a stupid jira photo.

2. PMs exist only to justify their own existence. They are middle managers and the modern adaptation of "agile" is some combination of Office Space and Idiocracy. From (1) the tool they use to justify their existence is some meaningless "burn down" chart they show the executives. The formalization of the process works for actual engineering (Toyota) but does not translate well to an industry that only values half-baked solutions "we'll fix at launch". It's a joke, and so are PMs.

From these points we reach the most important point

3. The industry does not value the beauty, the art, the talent, and the critical thinking required to develop good software. Room temperature IQ CEOs, VPs, and middle managers either don't understand you or are intimidated by you.

Since most of us get into this industry for that my solution to this emotionally draining and bankrupt industry is to use it to fund my own things. I went back to school, bought 3d printers and other physical-tech, and used my money to fund adventures elsewhere where creativity and problem solving is valued. I go to my job, work my 40 (or less) hours, meet EXACTLY the requirements of my title, and go home with a clear conscience. I take 5 weeks of vacation per year and don't feel bad about it for even a nanosecond. I hardly program outside of work and I've, to be honest, never felt better.

Once you realize you're just a cog in a very expensive machine, a cost center to the people who decide raises, and the (especially if you're senior+) the first to get fired and replaced with foreign contractors, it becomes obvious the only solution is to use the industry to fund your talents rather than view it as a source of anything other suffering. I would estimate 70% of engineers say they enjoy their job. 10% of those engineers work for "fun" companies, and the other 90% are lying. So find something fun to do and never try to find some semblance of meaning to your job. There isn't any.

I used to work long weeks. 50-60+ hours "for the company". I rose to nearly staff engineer level before I was let go after so many empty promises. This happened several more times in my career. I come off bitter, not because I hate the software, but I hate the tacit manipulation and "family" style gaslighting the modern tech company does.

Digging the overall message but honestly people who say “I don’t like titles” come off as so pretentious to me. People care about titles by necessity. If you’re in a position to not, you’re lucky, not uniquely cool or smart.