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Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

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Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#151
post #103

> Each morning for the past couple months, my first thought has been "What could today be like if I didn't work here?". I drift off into exploring what it would be like to work at Wal Mart, or the construction site outside, or as a bagger at a grocery store. It seems so stress free. Here's the thing- it probably isn't stress free, just different kinds of stress. And you also need to ask yourself whether the feelings…

Can confirm - right now I personally work as a "Party Associate" at Party City - not very stress free. Customers can be very specific with what they want. Running a startup sounds like a dream - I'd much rather have your job, even if I still had to keep my $9.75/hour. (Anyone looking for a college sophomore eagle scout in the MN area for the summer?) (gallerdude@gmail.com)

You should have your contact info in your profile...

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#152
post #3

May be a stupid question but: can you suck it up until the acquisition goes through, take the money, leave, and try bagging stuff at a grocery store for a few months? Does the acquisition involves you signing a contract and being forced to stick around for a few years?

> Does the acquisition involves you signing a contract and being forced to stick around for a few years? Yes they range from 3 to 5 years, with much of the compensation coming from future earnings.

"much of the compensation coming from future earnings" why bother selling if you are stuck in the company anyway? You are saying: I will give the company to somebody and that person will give me its price when and if he sells. This is a ripoff, not an acquisition . It doesn't work that way.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#154
post #103

> Each morning for the past couple months, my first thought has been "What could today be like if I didn't work here?". I drift off into exploring what it would be like to work at Wal Mart, or the construction site outside, or as a bagger at a grocery store. It seems so stress free. Here's the thing- it probably isn't stress free, just different kinds of stress. And you also need to ask yourself whether the feelings…

Can confirm - right now I personally work as a "Party Associate" at Party City - not very stress free. Customers can be very specific with what they want. Running a startup sounds like a dream - I'd much rather have your job, even if I still had to keep my $9.75/hour. (Anyone looking for a college sophomore eagle scout in the MN area for the summer?) (gallerdude@gmail.com)

This is interesting. What part of running a startup sounds like a dream?

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#155
Well, you're about to be acquired. Tough it out, insist on being paid in cash and live long and happily ever after. Simple!

The idea that you are essential to allow the company to be acquired is most likely nonsense, I've yet to meet someone that could not be replaced with some goodwill and hard work to transfer responsibilities. Better that than to have someone that does not really want to work!

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#156
I would recommend investing in a CEO or Executive Coach. It is lonely at the top even with mentors and spouses. Hiring my CEO Coach years ago was among the best decisions I have ever made on any level. It paid for itself immediately – certainly from a financial perspective, but also (and more importantly) from an emotional and mental health perspective. This, in turn, allowed me to see things through new eyes and push through barriers I otherwise was stuck behind. I became a better leader, a better husband, and a better person as a result, and I transformed my life and my company in the process. Not sure if it's kosher or not to push someone's services here but I don't really care; this particular coach changed my life for the better, and I know he could change yours too. Dale Larson at Startup Happiness: https://startuphappiness.com/

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#157

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You're describing an enabler. We're talking about his wife.

Most co-dependency relationships are those in your immediate family. source: had a father who was an alcoholic and had to learn this myself.

No where in this post did it imply that his wife has this behavior. HN nerds have a really bad habit of conflating and projecting. I'm sorry about your father, but you can't infer that about his wife from the given information; the severity of that implication is why your experience is as extraordinary and makes it difficult to buy that his wife is the problem.

Imagine if we were advising him to remain silent about this to his close business associates. Would we advise an engineer having a rough go of it to not talk to their manager? Would you advise a student to not talk to a parent if they were having a really hard time at school? What benefit would remaining unproductively silent about these problems other than choking on your own poison?

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#158
I don't understand why you're being down voted. Most women can't handle adversity, especially if she doesn't work and relies on your income. Two relationships ended due to me losing my job and essentially coming clean saying I was depressed. In hindsight, they lost respect for me. People say you aren't your job, but psychologically it really is.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#159

Do not talk to your wife. Talk to your best friend, talk to your parents, talk to a therapist, don't talk to your wife. Your wife loves you so if you say you are depressed, she will be understanding and let you lay in bed all day if you want. She will make meals for you, she will do the chores around the house because she wants to help you and you feel too tired to do those things. But depression will only get worse…

I don't understand why you're being down voted. Most women can't handle adversity, especially if she doesn't work and relies on your income. Two relationships ended due to me losing my job and essentially coming clean saying I was depressed. In hindsight, they lost respect for me. People say you aren't your job, but psychologically it really is.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#160

Do not talk to your wife. Talk to your best friend, talk to your parents, talk to a therapist, don't talk to your wife. Your wife loves you so if you say you are depressed, she will be understanding and let you lay in bed all day if you want. She will make meals for you, she will do the chores around the house because she wants to help you and you feel too tired to do those things. But depression will only get worse…

I don't understand why you're being down voted. Most women can't handle adversity, especially if she doesn't work and relies on your income. Two relationships ended due to me losing my job and essentially coming clean saying I was depressed. In hindsight, they lost respect for me. People say you aren't your job, but psychologically it really is.
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