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Ask HN: How do you prevent the impact of social media on your children?

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Re: Ask HN: How do you prevent the impact of social media on your children?

#141

Post by snowwrestler »

Trasmatta wrote: post #89
garrickvanburen wrote: post #84

Earlier quoted context omitted.

once moral panic is subtracted out, it's not actually that complex.

How does moral panic factor into this? I don't think being worried about the effects of technology on children is a moral panic.

No one participating in a moral panic thinks it is a moral panic. They all think they are addressing a real pressing issue. That is why moral panics work.

The easiest key is the focus. Am I worried about my kid? Not a moral panic, that is literally my job as a parent.

Am I worried about society in general because of all the shoddy parenting about screen time? (Or risky play, or being home alone, or riding public transportation, etc) Then it might be a moral panic.

Along those same lines: am I worried about what all those worriers will say about me?

This is what the above comment is referring to. A lot of the stress of parenting is amped up by other adults (parents or not) who have lots of opinions about whether you’re doing everything right. Much of this is some combination of moral panic and/or self-righteous busybodies. If you can learn to tune a lot of that out, parenting is less stressful and less complex.

Re: Ask HN: How do you prevent the impact of social media on your children?

#142

Post by garrickvanburen »

giarc wrote: post #107
garrickvanburen wrote: post #51

I've 4 kids, the youngest is 11. The rule in the house is; 1) no social media accounts until 13 and 2) one of your parents will be your 'friend' on that account. This is actually a pretty great expression of "kids keep you young." But, right now is right now and how kids communicate with each other is constantly changing - social media or not. So, if you're not a parent to a tween or teens now - I'd say you have litt…

>I'd say you have little to actually worry about as the landscape will be completely different in a decade. Could be a lot worse though. Imagine if VR/AR does take off and your social media feed is in your eyes 24/7 rather than just when you take out your phone.

VR/AR won't take off. It'll get better, if only in that our moral panic about it will evaporate as it did for comic books and video games.

Kids prefer being IRL with other kids w/ or w/o screens.

Re: Ask HN: How do you prevent the impact of social media on your children?

#143

Post by jryan49 »

francisofascii wrote: post #53

Delay, Deny, Defend Don't let them have a smart phone until high school. Do not allow unlimited use. Do not allow certain apps. No phones in room at night. Continually have to "defend" and argue about it.

How are they going to learn how to control themselves when you're not around though?

Re: Ask HN: How do you prevent the impact of social media on your children?

#144

Post by garrickvanburen »

Trasmatta wrote: post #89
garrickvanburen wrote: post #84

Earlier quoted context omitted.

once moral panic is subtracted out, it's not actually that complex.

How does moral panic factor into this? I don't think being worried about the effects of technology on children is a moral panic.

Social media within Wikipedia's Media Panic article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Media_panic#Social_networking_...

Re: Ask HN: How do you prevent the impact of social media on your children?

#145

Post by Carrok »

Dwedit wrote: post #106
lifefeed wrote: post #103

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I like the idea of vinyl for kids too, because of how tactile it is, but man, begin with a cheap player and cheap records. No matter how old they are, they will play with it like a toy. The good news is my father's old slightly warped prog rock records are finally getting a lot of use.

Would not suggest vinyl for kids. That's a needle on the record player, it scratches everything up. Not easy to aim the arm to the beginning of the track. Tapes are more foolproof. If you put them in the wrong way, the player won't close. And even though you can damage the actual tape part by mishandling it, you're not all that likely to do so.

Buy some cheap records and let them have fun. Many turntables have a push button start, no need to aim anything.

Re: Ask HN: How do you prevent the impact of social media on your children?

#146

Post by snowwrestler »

soulofmischief wrote: post #38
Carrok wrote: post #33

I was an outcast as a kid, and this was years before social media. I think I turned out alright regardless. Your social status as a pre-adult doesn't really matter at all once you join the real world. That and I think kids not having any social media will become more and more common, so it's not going to be that big a deal.

But if you blame your parents' or guardians' overly restrictive dogma for your outcast status then it will likely turn into lifelong resentment. Would you want your kid to resent you? The better alternative is to explore the net together with your children and show them that there is a world beyond typical social media which is far more interesting and rewarding to explore. Encourage them to foster trust and strong r…

It is absolutely not true that placing limits on your child will create lifelong resentment. This is an irrational fear on the parents’ part.

Re: Ask HN: How do you prevent the impact of social media on your children?

#147

Post by figers »

ericmcer wrote: post #78
ozim wrote: post #62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Gorilla in the room are other f*ng parents. You can prevent as much as you want but then kids go to school nd everyone else has accounts they should not have or devices they should not have and your kids are angry at you because now you are the bad guy.

Exactly, I see all these idealized strategies around social media and children but the reality is nothing is going to overcome the peer pressure of being 12 years old and the only kid at school without a phone. Until schools and government restrict phone ownership in a real way, parents are going to keep giving phones to their 8 year olds.

We choose an apple watch for this reason, that way we can still call them / locate them, they are part of their friends iMessage groups, but no social media apps are possible...

Re: Ask HN: How do you prevent the impact of social media on your children?

#148

Post by jedmeyers »

kridsdale1 wrote: post #134
stephenhuey wrote: post #101

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I get what scop meant. Family vehicles had cassette or 8-track players when I was a kid and I figured out how to use my parents' record player, but for the purposes of what he was getting at, CDs are a more "analog" experience than streaming music, and give you a feel for what playing an album is like. You have to physically put in and remove the disc to change the music, whereas streaming gives you any song at your…

I think it’s fair enough to call a CD analog because the data stream is nothing for than wave amplitudes. It doesn’t use a Fourier transform or compression or require “software”.

It does require a digital to analog converter, though.

Re: Ask HN: How do you prevent the impact of social media on your children?

#149

Post by baxtr »

kridsdale1 wrote: post #136
tylerc230 wrote: post #76

A lot of parents at our school signed a “wait until 8” pledge to wait until 8th grade before getting them smartphones. This way there will be less social pressure from their friends to be connected. My assumption is that without a smartphone they won’t use social media.

Meanwhile I spent every minute of free time from 2000-2005 using phpbb, irc, and aim, on a big CRT and PC

I did the same. But sometimes I wonder if that’s why I’m so unfocused today.

Re: Ask HN: How do you prevent the impact of social media on your children?

#150

Post by lolinder »

ozim wrote: post #62
scop wrote: post #29

Four thoughts: 1. I've developed a analog->digital path for my kids. Before they can get a music player, they get a CD player. Before they get video games, they get board games. And then, for video games, before they get Super Mario Odyssey they get the original Super Mario Bros. Each of these "first they get" is a long period. Years long. Give them something that has limitations so they can truly explore it. Find th…

Gorilla in the room are other f*ng parents. You can prevent as much as you want but then kids go to school nd everyone else has accounts they should not have or devices they should not have and your kids are angry at you because now you are the bad guy.

The best thing my parents ever did for me was cultivate a sense of familial superiority.

Other families had the TV on all the time, but we read books instead because we were 'better'. Other kids did drugs and drank, but we were better than that. Peer pressure didn't have much of an impact on me because I was raised to believe that I was better than 'that' for most values of 'that'. And my parents never had to force me on any of this—they just invited me to be a part of their exclusive club.

There might be a way around this that doesn't involve cultivating a mild condescension towards peers, but I can say from experience that the condescension does work!

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