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Ask HN: How do I find my “purpose”?

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Re: Ask HN: How do I find my “purpose”?

#141

Post by dinosaurdynasty »

I don't believe in purpose anymore. Some people may think they have it, but I think a lot of us are just going to find fun/interesting things until they die and that's okay.

Re: ikigai, I hate this concept, though I'm unlucky enough that the things I love either 1) don't pay enough economically (unless you're stupidly lucky) or 2) you can get paid for it, but it will corrupt it and you'll have a hard time loving it any more. I think the best thing most of us can do is to find something you won't kill yourself doing and make money until you can buy your freedom (some might call that retirement). Maybe it'll be possible to do something truly meaningful afterwards.

Re: Ask HN: How do I find my “purpose”?

#142

Post by nnadams »

zotronix wrote: post #108

You don't, you design it. A popular book on this topic: https://designingyour.life/the-book/

I haven't read that book, but yes exactly! I wish I had the ability to remove "find your purpose" from our language. You can't find a purpose or passion lying around. You can't take someone else's. You have to build it up yourself slowly over time.

I started writing code when I was young, and I decided early to be a software engineer early in my life. I often heard comments like "wow you found your passion so young!" I feel like that "found" thinking ignores all the time spent coding and messing around on computers. Also all the things I didn't do with that time. Kids probably have a few cheat codes, but I think most adults can set aside time and plan to do the same types of things.

At the end of the day, I think building a passion is an investment in yourself. It's something that does cost a lot of time and effort. It's worth searching around and trying new things, but don't let yourself just flip through a "purposes" list. Trust yourself to build a purpose worth your time.

Re: Ask HN: How do I find my “purpose”?

#143

Post by Mandatum »

lostlogin wrote: post #107
jstarfish wrote: post #53

I take issue with traditional advice on the subject-- it's all self-centered. Finding MY purpose. MY life meaning. MY values. The path to getting there involves MY consumption of , acquisition of wealth, influence, or other forms of self-indulgence. Everything is about MY happiness. Consider that perhaps you don't find your "calling." Instead, it finds you. The only "trick" here is that you have to be reachable by pu…

> Volunteer work is a good start, missionary work is even better. I couldn’t disagree more with regard to missionary work. Having someone tell me why their sky friend needs to be in my life is outright offensive. I get a fair few US 20-25 year olds trying this crap out at my home in Auckland, New Zealand.

Highly recommend asking them for help with chores when they come knocking.

Re: Ask HN: How do I find my “purpose”?

#144

Post by xwowsersx »

sbf501 wrote: post #115

Start one level up: why do you want or need a "purpose"? Purpose/calling is meaningless IMHO. I opted for "pushing my comfort zone". Something I learned from a woman I was dating when I was 20 (she was 9 years older and entering the Peace Corp). Now rapidly reaching the other side of 50, I seek to be content and without dissonance in my day-to-day life. I have routines I enjoy, no bucket list, and time to let my mind…

Shouldn't you be posing the same question to yourself though? Why do you want or need to push your comfort zone?

Re: Ask HN: How do I find my “purpose”?

#146

Post by eucryphia »

The universe is doomed to death by entropy, only life can reverse entropy.

Genesis 1:28 is your purpose; "Be fruitful and multiply"

It's best to implement that with another person who shares your purpose and helps enable the objects of your purpose to implement theirs.

Everything else you do are trade-offs to making the implementation of your purpose as enjoyable as possible for you and your partner.

Re: Ask HN: How do I find my “purpose”?

#147

Post by lostlogin »

Mandatum wrote: post #143
lostlogin wrote: post #107

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Volunteer work is a good start, missionary work is even better. I couldn’t disagree more with regard to missionary work. Having someone tell me why their sky friend needs to be in my life is outright offensive. I get a fair few US 20-25 year olds trying this crap out at my home in Auckland, New Zealand.

Highly recommend asking them for help with chores when they come knocking.

I was firewood cutting last time. It was only getting cut due to that being god’s will, apparently.

Re: Ask HN: How do I find my “purpose”?

#148

Post by carom »

I talked to a therapist about this once and he told me to volunteer or have kids. Haven't talked to a therapist again since those were dumb suggestions.

Settled into just enjoying my life and building for the future. Work out, have a dog, have a partner, build cool things. No more existential dread about purpose.

Re: Ask HN: How do I find my “purpose”?

#149

Post by whatwherewhy »

xwowsersx wrote: post #144
sbf501 wrote: post #115

Start one level up: why do you want or need a "purpose"? Purpose/calling is meaningless IMHO. I opted for "pushing my comfort zone". Something I learned from a woman I was dating when I was 20 (she was 9 years older and entering the Peace Corp). Now rapidly reaching the other side of 50, I seek to be content and without dissonance in my day-to-day life. I have routines I enjoy, no bucket list, and time to let my mind…

Shouldn't you be posing the same question to yourself though? Why do you want or need to push your comfort zone?

It's fun

Re: Ask HN: How do I find my “purpose”?

#150

Post by velomash »

I mean, I'm not even sure if it's legal to own aquatic marine mammals of that size, but I can see how that relationship would be meaningful.

I'd probably start with some marine biology classes. Then maybe you could find an internship or job at a large aquarium. After that you'd need to forge relationships with handlers and suppliers. Start reaching out and asking "hypothetical questions" about sourcing "for the aquarium" ;)

While you're trying to make the deal you'll need to setup a space for your new friend. You'll probably need a source for fish in bulk and maybe a free water source. Municipal water would be expensive.

Good luck!

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