Well, IMO, it's time for you to embark the spiritual journey now. The mushroom awaits you! Buy the ticket, take the ride.
Ask HN: At a peak of my dev career, I hate my life
141–150 of 522 posts
Re: Ask HN: At a peak of my dev career, I hate my life
#142Earlier quoted context omitted.
> So...people like you? you sound really judgemental man. I know it sounds bad, but I don't want to meet people like me. I really don't like myself right now :) I'm looking for a way out from this state, not a way to settle in. It's like you can't treat depression by hanging out with other depressed people, it'll make you worse. > Since you have no friends(so nothing to hold you where you are, right?), and apparently…
> Traveling and digital nomading is definitely on my list, the pandemic delayed the plans. Ironically, I find this to be even more isolating. One thing is right in the name, nomad, your not making and permanent or lasting friendships. Sure, you meet a lot of people but everyone is just going on their own after. Also I find travel to not be something relatable at all to most people. Most people can't do it, and get we…
I traveled a bunch in my youth and it’s definitely not a cure all for life’s meaning. It was exactly like that line from Fight Club - single serving friends. After a while it gets tiring to meet interesting people, hang out for a while and go through the topics you enjoy and feel like you connect. Then they’re or you are off to the other side of the world and that’s the end of that friendship. I did meet my wife and have a lot of fun adventures though.
Try it for a few months and you’ll likely realize that you are the common theme in your problems. It’ll be a very enjoyable time nonetheless.
Re: Ask HN: At a peak of my dev career, I hate my life
#143> On the other hand, I feel that finding a non-coding job would be ultimately the best way to find new social groups, and get out of the apathy.
If you are feeling lonely I suggest getting back together with friends from college/high school or joining hobbies/groups. That's what helped me when I was alone in the Bay area
Re: Ask HN: At a peak of my dev career, I hate my life
#144Bro, sign up for your local sailing club, learn to operate a boat and advertise discreetly on your instagram you've unexpectedly got single and going on a lonely sailing trip this weekend. Find a local crossfit club. Do something that an average nerdy coach warner wouldnt do.
Re: Ask HN: At a peak of my dev career, I hate my life
#145The bad news is it sounds like you have absolutely nothing. The good news is it sounds like you have absolutely nothing. How I would love to move to Taiwan or Vietnam for six months making my current salary and work remote right now. Or even one month. Wouldn’t it be fun to go to Europe, take a train across the continent and work on a laptop. Or an Airbnb in Barbados. Who convinced you that you have to stay in this l…
People who can make friends at 2am on Thailand can also make friends with their coworkers and neighbors. Lonely loners at home become lonely loners on Thailand.
Re: Ask HN: At a peak of my dev career, I hate my life
#146Longer-term, you might like yourself more, if you can get past dissing the people at hobby meetups and dance class.
Re: Ask HN: At a peak of my dev career, I hate my life
#147Well, IMO, it's time for you to embark on the spiritual journey. The mushroom awaits you. Buy the ticket, take the ride.
Re: Ask HN: At a peak of my dev career, I hate my life
#148Read Starting Strength and start lifting with that program. Cut out all the junk you eat, start eating heathy. Stop drinking or smoking if you do that. Make sure you get at least 8 hours of sleep. Read the Almanac of Naval Ravikant, specifically the parts about wealth and happiness. At least once a week, take a walk outdoors. Avoid therapy until you have taken the above simple steps to try to remedy your situation, w…
> Friends don’t create happiness, happiness can create friends though.
[Citation needed]
Humans are social creatures. I'm pretty sure being socially isolated for an extended period of time has a significant negative effect on mood. Of course its not the only factor involved.
Hell, isolation is even used as a torture method to "break" people so that they spill their secrets.
Re: Ask HN: At a peak of my dev career, I hate my life
#149> short guys looking for girlfriends > All the "normal" people Lol thanks. I used to have self-confidence issues because I'm short. Spent a lot of time at university feeling sorry for myself, unable to make friends or see myself as worthy of a girlfriend. Eventually realised that it's mostly in my head. I got over my self-esteem issues, went out and spoke to a stranger (ikr isn't that crazy?!) and he became my best f…
I'll add to part of your statement. I'm 5'7" and in school people told me I was short. I felt self conscious about it up until through dating.
For me, what it did is made me the most confident person I know - or frankly have ever met. It made me know myself. What I've found is taller guys, generally lack strong self confidence because people defer to them without real work. I then realized most people are followers, and question themselves constantly.
Once past the general "people look naturally to a taller person", I found that I can outclass them. My dad independently found the same thing, and once told me "To find the man with the lowest self confidence, just look up".
Re: Ask HN: At a peak of my dev career, I hate my life
#150Earlier quoted context omitted.
Work on yourself first, buddy. Learn to be happy, then people will naturally enter your life and stick around.
Telling people to just "be happy" is not constructive advice. If it was that easy everyone would do it.
You have to learn to like yourself before others will though, having a deep sense of self loathing, even self consciously, will put people off of you, you emanate a deep proverbial psychological stink - and it turns people away.